God's Choice of Mate

Strengthen the heart

After a few days I was in the hospital.Now it's time for me to go home.

Go home.....

The cliche words that some people become happy to hear.

But it seems a contradiction to me.

Where am I supposed to go home?

I don't even have a family I don't own.

Ughhhhh......

Again and again, I have to be really patient going through all this alone.

I murmured in my heart.

Czechkkk.....

The door opened but I was still staring at the sky from the window of the hospital room where I was being treated.

"Son Rani is ready?" asked Budi.

My daydream was split hearing his voice.

"What does Rani want to think?" she asked me.

"It feels like Rani is tired sir.But circumstances must make Rani strong and strong," said I limp.

"Pak Budi knows and understands what Rani wants to feel.But son Rani must remain enthusiastic and fight for justice for the late grandfather, father and late mother nak Rani.Bapak sure nak Rani can certainly,"said Mr. Budi strengthen me.

"Yes sir, thank you for the support.Maybe this time is a weak point for Rani to feel very bad sir," I replied.

"It's okay, son,all that is natural because Nak Rani is not an angel but an ordinary man who with all his shortcomings and advantages.Then from that we as weak creatures of God must pray a lot and depend on Him He is the one who can treat the pain and the helper of all distress," said Mr. Budi advising me.

I nodded and Mr. Budi rubbed my head gently.

"Let's get Rani excited!," he said as he shouted to encourage me.

My sad face slowly looks bright.

"Well, if Rani's son is smiling, it looks beautiful" praised Mr. Budi.

Then he continued his sentence.

"Let's kid we go down.Bu Sri and the others wait for Rani's son at home.Nak Rani must be strong and brave yes.And his bag let the father bring,ayo son," said Pak Budi while carrying my bag.

I also nodded to Mr. Budi.

We both stepped out of the patient room I was in.

Bismillah, O Allah, help me and lead me, I said in my heart.

 

The car driven by Mr. Budi drove.

Fast as the roar of my heartbeat.

The void enveloped the recesses of my deepest heart.

But I believe God will smile behind sorrow, and God will give hope behind despair.

Robbanaa laa tuzigh quluubanaa ba'da idz hadaitanaa wahablanaa milladunka rohmah innaka antal wahhaab.

Which means: O our Lord, do not make Our hearts inclined to error after You have guided us, and grant us mercy from Your side,for thou art the most Giver (gift).

(Al-Qur'an Surat Ali Imran verse 8).

O God, may You cherish my heart in kindness.Keep and show me the best way out of every difficulty I face, my inner self.

"What does Rani want to think?" asked Budi while driving.

"No sir is just praying, sir," I replied.

Mr. Budi smiled and turned to me for a moment.Then he focused on driving back

"Maybe when Rani will return to the residence of Mr. Suprapto will all be very different, especially their original attitude.

For that Rani son must be patient and strong yes," said Mr. Budi gave advice to me.

"Yes sir" I replied briefly

The car continued to go through the heavy rain that came suddenly.

"Allahumma shoyyiban nafi'an

[O Allah, bring down to us a fruitful rain]," I said softly.

"Aamiin, may goodness and blessings increase, as well as the many benefits of this rain," said Mr. Budi.

I replied to Mr. Budi with a small smile and then looked ahead to see the road.

The rain is getting heavier with strong winds .

Wussss ..wussss .....

Trees swayed here and there.

Cold air penetrates the epidermal layer of the skin slowly.

The sky became dark.

DEERrrrr.....DErrrr....DErrrr.....

The thunderbolt sound.

"Sir Budi, soon will enter the prayer time ashar.How about we look for the nearest mosque to wait for the entry of prayer time,at once we stop waiting for the rain and the wind to stop.Rani is afraid just in case there are trees down and other things sir," said I was worried.

"Yes son, Pak Budi agreed.Bapak also thought so.Nah, Alhamdulliah it happened to be a mosque in front there.We went there son Rani,"sahut Pak Budi while pointing.

Not long after the car drove towards the big mosque on the side of the highway.

Mr. Budi immediately parked the car he was driving in a special parking lot in the mosque courtyard area.

"But Rani nak don't go straight down.Pak Budi get an umbrella first," said Mr. Budi while looking for an umbrella behind the seat of the car he was sitting on.

"Well, here's the umbrella.

One for Rani and the other for Budi," said Mr. Budi while giving one umbrella to me.

Me and Mr. Budi got out of the car.

Plakkkp....

Car door closed.

We walked under the heavy rain.

"Son Rani be careful the road is slippery," said Pak Budi reminded me.

It did not take long to get to the mosque.

The atmosphere of the mosque looks crowded by worshippers but remains silent.

There was the loud voice of a man giving a lecture.

His voice echoed in the reflection of the falling rain.

Everyone seemed to be listening to the lecture.

My eyes looked inside looking for a loose and empty place.

"Nak Rani's clothes are a little wet in the rain, son.Nak Rani is okay?," asked Budi worried.

"Alhamdulillah, Rani is okay sir.Oh yes sir, Mr Budi want to come in or sit outside?,"kanyaku.

"Pak Budi mah relax son, where is it okay.If Rani son wants to come in to listen to the lecture is okay.Pak Budi want to find a coffee seller.Cold want a warm drink.Nak Rani want tea or what?,"ask Mr. Budi to cross his arms.

"No need sir, Mr. Budi just buy.Rani into yes sir.Let's meet here sir," I said.

"Yes want to be ready, Pak Budi went to find a drink first yes,"pamit Pak Budi while walking away.

I nodded while looking at Mr. Budi who had gone away from me.

Meanwhile, I looked for an empty place and stepped my right foot and read the do'a entering the mosque.

"BISMILLAH WASSALAAMU ‘ALA ROSULILLAH. ALLAHUMMAGHFIR LII DZUNUUBI WAFTAHLII ABWAABA ROHMATIK (By mentioning the name of Allah and greetings to the Messenger of Allah. O Allah, forgive me my sins and open to me the door of Your mercy), I said softly.

Suddenly, an aged mother pulled my hand.

"Sit's sitting next to mom still fit," he asked.

I nodded and smiled at him, then sat down slowly beside him.

"Thank you ma'am," I said slowly.

"Yes together.Telat ya coming?," said the mother looked at me.

I wrinkled my eyebrows thinking what the question meant.

"Mother loves this oustad.Still young, graduated from Egypt and handsome again," she said with a laugh.

I just grimaced to hear his words.

"Honey mother is old and married, if not sure the mother pepet.Hehehehe..sister is young who knows the match with this oustad," he said a little slurred.

"Sssstttt.. quietly noisy, you just talk from earlier.Have listened to the lecture," said the mother's friend who sat next to him a little annoyed.

I just smiled a little at them.

Then I corrected my seat and began to listen to the lecture.

"Qul ya 'ibadillazina amanuttaqu rabbakum, lillazina ahsanu fi hazihid-dun-ya hasanah, wa ardullahi wasi'ah, in the name of yuwaffas-sabiruna ajrahum bigairi hisab."

"That means: Say: "O My servants who believe. Fear your Lord". Those who do good in this world have good. The earth of God is wide. Verily, it is only those who are patient that their reward is fulfilled without limit."

"Al-Qur'an Surat Az-Zumar Verse 10," the voice was so sad.

"Well, from the letter Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala said that: If you want patience .. For you HEAVEN."

"My brother whom Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala may bless.Know .. Allah Taala will test every servant with misfortune, with things they do not like, also Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala will test them with their enemies from the disbelievers and the hypocrites. Surely this all requires patience, not despair of the grace of Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala and remain consistent in religion and Istiqamah in His way. Therefore, everyone should not be swayed by the trials that exist, not just resigned to the trials, even every servant should remain committed in his religion. Every servant should be patient with the tiredness and fatigue that they bear when walking in this religion.Despite the trials that come it is difficult even."

Those words touched my heart.

Hearing his talk I felt strong about the problems I was facing right now.

I listened to every meaning of his words.

"There is indeed something that we do not know behind the calamity that Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala gave us."

"Then be patient and strive for the riddho with the divine taqdir. Verily, the prophets and the Sholeh have also experienced calamity as we have found even more severe and painful. Why should we grieve, complain and be angry? Even the sholeh people used to fit their level of faith .They even get a harder test than us.

Therefore, the,we should remain confident and patient.Because after the tribulation there will be ease.Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala will not test his servant beyond the ability of a servant.If at this time we are getting a test from Allah rest assured that God loves us.God knows we can get through it."

"May we be among those who

be patient when facing calamity, both with the oral heart and limbs. O Allah, make us among Your servants who are always pleased with Your taqdir."

"Aamiin yes rabbal'alamiin," I said slowly.

My heart felt calm and did not feel heavy after hearing the lecture from the ustad.

Shortly after that the lecture ended because the time of Ashar prayer had arrived.

So I rushed to fetch water with other female pilgrims who were quite a lot.

Fortunately, the ablution place in this mosque does not mix with men.

So that it can feel safe because the place is separate and closed.

Then by taking turns and queuing me and the other women took ablution water.

There were heard mothers, women as I was, and the elderly were praising the young adult.

They are like complaining.

Looking towards them at a glance.

Then it was my turn to take the water of ablution.Then I read the intention in my heart.

Nawaitul whuduua liraf'il hadatsil asghari fardal lillaahi ta'aala.(I intend ablution to eliminate the small hadats of fardhu because of Allah Ta'ala).

Then I read basmalah ‘bismillah’.

Wash both palms three times.

Then, I take the water with my right hand, then put it in my mouth (rinsing or madmadho) and put it in my nose (istinsyaq) at once (through one lick).

Next, the water is removed (istintsar) with the left hand and I do this three times.

I washed my whole face three times.

Wash my right hand then left-to-elbow and while interrupting my fingers.

Next, I raised my veil by keeping it on my head so that my hair and head area were not visible.

I slowly wet my palms with water. Then I wet the front head and then I pull my hands up to the back of the head, then pull my hands back up to the front of the head.

After that, it was immediately followed by inserting my index finger into the ear hole, while my thumb rubbed the outer ear. 

I washed my head once and included in it the ears (wiping together after the head). 

After that, I washed my feet three times to the eyes of the feet by putting the right foot first while cleaning between the toes.

I raised both my hands while praying after taking the water.

"ASY-HADU ALLA ILAAHA ILLALLAH WAHDAHU LAA SYARIKALAH WAY ASYHADU ANNA MUHAMMADAN ‘ABDUHU WA ROSULU, ALLOHUMMAJ’NII INTERESTTAWWAABIINA WAJ’ALNII MINAL MUTATHOHHIRIIN’ (meaning: I testify that there is no true deity except Allah alone, Allah alone, there are no allies for Him, and I testify that Muhammad was His servant and messenger. O Allah, make me a repentant servant and make me a holy one)."

Then, not long after that I and other pilgrims perform the prayer of Ashar in congregation.