God's Choice of Mate

Grief tidings.

I sat alone on the chair on the porch outside my bedroom and Winda was.In solitude my mind kept on going to Brother Reno.His words kept ringing and repeating in my mind.Although I tried not to care.But for some reason everything that Brother Reno said was recorded clearly in my mind.

Hufh, I just let go of the burden of feeling that stuck in my heart.

A gentle gentle breeze made me feel at ease.In the dark I heard footsteps of someone walking closer towards me."What do you think Ran? why after seeing Reno I saw you so much silence and pensive Ran?" said Wirda who apparently sat beside me.

I was a little surprised to hear Wirda's question which could see the uneasiness I was feeling, "How do you know Wir if I think of something?".

Wirda heard a small laugh at my words, "Of course I know Ran.Mimik your face describes the anxiety of your heart.Again I have known him Ran for a long time, so that I know when you feel happy, so I know when you feel happy,sad or thinking of something like this".

I also did not try to deny from Vinda the anger that I feel now."Yes Wir, though,after meeting Brother Reno I felt angry after listening to his words.Entah whether I was affected by his words or my feelings feel pity for the situation now.But when I was talking to him.Kak Reno sounded different he said Brother Reno who is arrogant, cruel and hateful to me.But it may be just my feelings.I was too afraid to guess his attitude which will suddenly turn into a trick again".

Wirda slowly put her fingers on my fingers while sighing, "Ran, I hope that you move on and do not get carried away after you hear the words of Brother Reno. For I know that your heart is soft and it is very easy to sympathize with the grief of others, " said Wirda, patting my fingers while pulling my hand to follow her.

"Where are you, Wirda?, "you ask.

"Have come along, come on!, " replied Wirda as she pulled my hand slowly.

Wirda then led me out of the room and walked down the stairs until finally our footsteps stopped.

It was heard in my ears the sound of water slowly and a gust of fresh air.

Ugh, I took a little breath feeling the fragrance of jasmine flowers and the memento that anesthetized my sense of smell.

And Wirda helped me sit in a chair in the back garden of Ustad Fariz's house.

"How are you feeling now Ran? Has it felt much better and calmer?, Wirda asked me while sitting next to me .

"Yes Wir I feel much better and not too tired in my heart, "i replied with a smile.

"Then I'm glad to hear it Ran. Oh yes there is something I want to tell you, " said Wirda in a doubtful and indecisive tone of voice.

"Yes just say Wir, what do you want to tell me .God willing I am ready to listen to him, "my words are calm. Wirda was silent for a while and seemed to think about telling me the anxiety in her heart, "It's about Rafa's sister, Ran. After coming home to see Reno Brother in attending his hearing, Reno. Sis Rafa spoke to me again he asked about my feelings and really wanted to propose to me to be his wife. Really Ran, I was very surprised and so upset to answer Kak Rafa's question that suddenly made me so shocked and did not know what to do and say. How do you think Ran?".

" Why are you asking about my opinion Wir.All these things can only be answered by yourself. Have I not said that it would be better if you involve Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala in your decision, namely by praying istikharah and praying a lot to Allah to ask for guidance from Him for his concerns and doubts you feel it now. And one more thing ask into your little heart if you are sure and have feelings for Rafa is also important Wirda," said I as I clasped Wirda's fingers, "And I'm sure Wir. God willing you will be able to decide what is best for you".

" Yes Ran alright," Wirda replied with a slight lethargy.

Hearing Wirda's uninspired answer I tried to make him cheerful again, "So before you made me not to become angry with Wirda. Why are you not excited now. Listen to me Wir said, surrender and leave everything to God. Now you have to be cheerful and cheerful again huh".

" Yes Ran, of course, "sohut Wirda.

And when Wirda and I were talking to each other while joking a little, suddenly there were footsteps that were walking so fast toward us. I tried to find the source of the voice and stopped talking to Wirda.

"Sir Wirda and Nak Rani,"call that voice which is none other than Mr. Budi with his breath gasping. I who heard the sound of the breath of Mr. Budi who was up and down irregularly immediately asked him, "What if it makes Pak Budi like being chased after something sir? ".

" Huh.. Huh.. Huh.. Hah.., "still heard the voice of Mr. Budi who was irregular and trying to regulate the rhythm of his breath.

Seeing Mr. Budi who is like a shock and is very unusual. Make Wirda immediately tell Pak Budi to sit down . Then Wirda took a cup of mineral water that was on the table near where I and Wirda sat and gave it to Mr. Budi. And immediately, Mr. Budi immediately sucked up mineral water from the plastic cup. While Wirda and I are still waiting for a description of the strange attitude that Mr. Budi showed us.

" What really happened, Mr Budi? is Mr Budi okay?, "you are worried and anxious. But Mr. Budi still could not speak and put out words to me.

I heard that Rafa's sister tried to tease Wirda again quickly chimed in on Kak Rafa's words so that Wirda would not feel misbehaved and was more and more ashamed of what Rafa's saying to her ,"Well, Brother Rafa just came by has directly teased Wirda. Poor Wirda to be ashamed of you Rafa".

" Kak Rafa doesn't tease Dek Wirda, Dek Rani .Kak Rafa said the truth is the more every day Kak Rafa saw the Wirda Deck look more radiant and more look very beautiful ,Masya Allah, "said Kak Rafa with a smile .

So Wirda who had felt wrong at first with the words of Kak Rafa became increasingly groggy and silent to the words of Kak Rafa who continued to tease him.Then I who knew if Wirda really felt not comfortable and ashamed of what Rafa said. Immediately I switched the conversation, "Oh yes Ustad Fariz was Pak Budi here with a little stirred with a breathless voice.Actually what happened to Mr. Budi,ustad?because since then Rani tried to ask Pak Budi.Namun Pak Budi also has not answered Rani's question, "my question to Ustad Fariz.

Heard my question to Ustad Fariz. Rafa immediately stopped his joke to Wirda .And he also focused on looking towards Ustad Fariz as well as Wirda and Pak Budi. While I was still waiting with a questioning feeling of the attitude that Mr. Budi showed. I heard Ustad Fariz fixing his seat by dragging the chair a little backwards away from me and facing everyone.

" Yes Dek Rani.Maybe Mr. Budi still feel shocked and shaken to convey bad news and not nice to hear to Dek Rani," said Ustad Fariz quietly to me. I who heard the answer from Ustad Fariz was a little confused and increasingly curious, "I mean Ustad Fariz what news made Mr. Budi look very shaken and unable to say such words".

I heard slowly Ustad Fariz sighed several times to try to calm him down in delivering the news he had received to me .While Mr. Budi was still silent without being able to say anything. My heart was pounding more and more anxious to hear the words that came out of Ustad Fariz's lips about the important things he wanted to say to me.

" In fact I myself am also very difficult to convey what I want to say to you Dek Rani.But somehow Dek Rani must know the truth of this matter and must also know it .Although me and everyone wanted to cover it but gradually Dek Rani would also know, "pronounced Ustad Fariz trying to calm me.Hearing the words of Ustad Fariz my heart was pounding more and more erratically. Anxiety is stirring within me. With my heart pounding steadily getting louder.

" Rani Deck. We have information and news that Deck Roy has had a very severe and severe accident".

DEG.. DEG...

My esophagus was suffocating and it was painful to hear the words of Ustad Fariz .So did my heart ache with my breath becoming stingy and tight.

With a simple word I tried to convince myself of the truth I heard from Ustad Fariz, "A... Aaa... What did Ustad Fariz say? ".

Wirda immediately shifted her seat closer to me and rubbed my shoulders gently. He tried to calm me down too. Although I also knew Wirda was as surprised as I was. Ustad Fariz fell silent and did not continue his words as he sighed repeatedly to compose his words back to me. And I was still so shocked and so shaken by the news I heard.

" I will say the news that will probably make Dek Rani and everyone very surprised and sad. But I beg for Dek Rani to be sincere and accept the decree that Allah Subhanahu Wa Ta'ala has set out, "said Ustad Fariz calmly and gently.

DEG... DEG... DeG...

The rhythm of my heartbeat was getting faster and faster with increasingly erratic feelings and so very agitated. I also ventured to ask what really happened . So that Mr. Budi did not directly tell me .

"Please Ustad Fariz just tell me what exactly happened .Rami felt even more uneasy and so agitated, "my earnest love to Ustad Fariz.

"Alright if Dek Rani really wants to know what really happened and I beg Dek Rani to remain calm and accept it sincerely yes" said Ustad Fariz to me. I nodded slowly, "Yes Ustad.Isha Allah, I replied in a still doubtful and indecisive tone.

"Innaa lillahi waa innaa ilaihi raajiuun, Allahumma Ajirnii fii mushibati khiran waa akhlifnii khiran minha. We belong to Allah and to Him we return, O Allah reward me for my misfortune and replace it with a better one. Dek Rani, Dek Reno has died after a terrible accident that took his life, ", said Ustad Fariz.

My throat was suffocating, my lips were shaking and without me noticing my tears were already dripping down my face. My body shivered for a moment .I became so empty and could no longer think or say anything. Wirda who was beside me also rubbed my ahuku quietly while crying, "Innaa lillahi waa innaa ilaihi raajiuun, " said Wirda slowly.

I was still petrified without being able to say anything. Everything was like a dream that came to destroy reality. Ustad Fariz who saw my silence and the roar of my tears tried to make me sincere and insoluble in sorrow, "Dek Rani and all of us are obliged to be with qadha and to accept the decree of Allah. It is okay if Dek Rani weeps and grieves it is human because we are just ordinary human beings created by Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala with feelings.

Al -‘ainu tadmaghu wal qalbu yahzanu, walaa naqulu illa maa yardha rabbuna. Our eyes may cry and our hearts grieve, (but we will not speak) except what our Lord has desired" Ustad Fariz told me.

In the tears of my eyes. I tried to strengthen my heart and remember and remember the words that Ustad Friz said to me and did not doubt the decree that God predestined, "Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rooji'un. Allahumma'jurnii fii mushibatii wa akhlif lii khoiron minhaa. Everything belongs to God and will come back to Him, "I said softly with trembling lips.

Huh.I tried to breathe. To relieve my chest that feels very tight and sick.Where my tears continue to flow considering the departure of Kak Roy who was so sudden suddenly.I feel like screaming to vent the sadness that is so very stifling in the my liver. It all feels so very painful. I don't know what to do.

Oh God! my screams in my heart while closing my eyes by biting my lips a little and continuing to shed tears that never stop breaking .

I was devastated and devastated by the passing of Kak Roy and Wirda who were beside me also did not stop crying while stroking my shoulders repeatedly to make me strong and strong. Withstanding the feeling so sad and raging I said softly to Ustad Fariz, "Ustad let's go to Kak Roy's house now.I want to go there and attend Kak Roy's funeral, Hiks...Hix...Hiks..," I said in a trembling voice.