Hold on or let go!

The Eps 40

The car I was riding in had already arrived next to my in-laws' house, more precisely in front of the house that Febri had contracted for. He brought me to his office directly.

"Press omah straight break ya Nduk!", pinta Febri.

(Until the house immediately rest)

"Yes!", I answered briefly. When I just got out of the car, a group of mothers who seemed to have just returned from school approached me.

"Eh...Bia Neng? Just returned from the hospital?", asked Mak Ijah, one of Mak's study friends.

"Yes Wak"

"Where is Titin? Cageur?", asked again, followed his friend in a nod.

"Alhamdulillah Wak, our operation was successful. Now it's a fucking rookie."

"Oh... That's why you can go home?", asked the others. I nodded and smiled thinly.

"Who are you going home looking after?"

"Si Aa came home to Wak."

"Oh.si Alby's home. Yeah good oruh, you ge need to rest."

"Muhun Wak."

"Eh, but how come he went home with the commander anyway?", asked a man suddenly. I was just about to answer, but first by Febri.

"I happen to be from the office in Bu district, all of you stop by to visit Mak Titin. Uh ... it turns out Bia wants to go home, yes it's been with you guys. After all, her husband also knew I was the one who brought her home. I won't kidnap hehehehe...."

"Komandan mah ..ih.i want to know the commander's tea, sincere even!", joked the other mother.

"Teu beuki commander mah same my grandmother in vain" chirped another.

(Don't doyan commander with your rich grandmothers)

Haha....

Some of them even laughed at Mak's words.

In the midst of her mother's laughter, Febri's phone rang. There was a call from his nephew in the village.

"Punten mothers, I picked up the phone for a moment!", permission Febri.

I really want to go in the house so it's not good because these mothers are still here.

[Assalamualaikum, dear?]

Febri greeted his nephew who was there in Java.

I overheard Febri's affectionate call to someone so smiled, he could also be that subtle.

"Aishhh.si commander mah romantic pisan!", chirped one of the mothers.

"Yes already back, neng Bia also want to rest time. Tired keep Mak in the hospital."

"Greetings to Titin."

"Yes Wak!", I said. I still had time to listen to Febri's chat. But I don't want to linger there either. My feet moved towards the house, and I chose to go through the back door.

Febri continued the call.

[Lek Bri, when is muleh?]

(Om Bri, when are you coming home?)

[It is difficult, do you know when I muleh nduk?]

(Tomorrow, why ask when I'm coming home?)

[Kangen ae, want in heheheh treaty]

[Huh! Mode! Njalok pulses toh koe?]

[Huum. Mr. Lek Bri is understanding]

[Basic bocil]

[Lek, Iki ibuk arepan talking ambi peyan]

(Om, I'm talking to you]

[Bri allo?]

[Yes mbak]

[Now you dines in the city of G anyway?]

[Come, why?]

[Bak Denger, Shabia now lives there too? Meet ga?]

[Who said mbak?]

[Mbak Yu Asih, mother'e Bia. I met you in the village bale]

[Yes mbak. I met Bia]

[Tenana?]

( Really?]

[Yes]

[Keep the kabare de'e pie?]

[Yo.be this is].

[How is this?]

[Susi's sister told ibune Bia?]

[Ngga kok Bri]

[Yo ice is mbak. If nothing matters, I'm going to the office again.]

[Oh.ya wis nek ngono].

[Wis yes mbak, assalamu'alaikum]

[Guardiansalam]

Febri put the phone back in his pocket again and headed to the office again. Not to forget he stopped by the kiosk to buy pulses for his nephew in the village there.

.

.

I entered the house that I have been living in for two years. There was a tightness in my chest when I let Alby go. If you know it will eventually be like this, it's better that Alby be a building porters only. Although not rich, at least we live well. Our lives are happy

I walked to my room. The room is always neat and holds a lot of memories with Alby.

It's almost three in the afternoon, that means I'm seeing azan ashar will be heard soon.

Afterwards, I looked up at the ceiling of my simple room.

If the house I went to was no longer just mine, would I be able to survive here?

A few minutes passed, I immediately headed to the bathroom and cleaned myself up.

Azan ashar looked up, I came out of the bathroom already in a state of ablution.

But how surprised when I find someone in front of me staring at me.

I who only wear a towel limited to the chest and knees soon passed. Trying to ignore Alby's whereabouts.

My feet moved quickly into the room, but as I was about to close the door, Alby's hands blocked it.

"I want to get dressed, pray. Udah wudhu!", I explained without mentioning his name or my frills you again.

But it was as if he hadn't heard my words. He broke into my room, eem.

Feeling in vain because of my words he did not hear, I chose to take my clothes. And after that I came out of our room, choosing to wear clothes in the next room. Lucky Alby didn't follow me.

After wearing clothes, I went straight to the prayer place we used to wear for worshipers.

I tried khusyu' 'but Alby who was suddenly behind me made me not concentrate. Even though I finished praying earlier.

Spontaneously, Alby put his head in my lap. I gasped a little, but I realized there were tears in our eyes. Yeah, well, the tip of my eye and Alby's are both watery.

Alby faced his face in my stomach. Smell at my stomach even though it's wrapped in mucus. It still sounds obvious that his sobs are making me worse.

"I'm sorry son's father!", said Alby softly as he occasionally kissed my stomach and rubbed it.

What say? the boy?

"Why are you here?", my defense collapsed to not ask him.

"Because of neng, where Aa came home!", replied Alby.

I smiled cynically.

"Stop crying, your crying means nothing to me. Sooner or later we'll be apart."

"I'm not going to let go of you Bi. You are forever mine, my wife!"

"Go! I want to calm down. He must be waiting for you there too!".

My voice is a little bit shaking! My mouth says so, but my heart wants Alby to stay with me and only mine.

"He let me be with you Bi."

I wiped my melted tears.

"Would you like to come here?"

Alby got up from my lap. Our eyes stood on each other. I can't interpret what's in front of me. But as much as I know, no matter how disappointed I am right now, my love for Alby is still the same. It hasn't changed, or maybe it will never change.

"She wants to take you to the city."

What say? Take me to town?

"no need. I can do anything myself. You don't need to report to kick me out of here, I can get out of this house without you asking!", I take my face off and fold it.

"Can't you love it you're not stubborn?!", snapped Alby. I was a little jolted to hear him yell at me even though there was a word 'honey' there.

"I was stubborn before! You know that!", I got up from the floor and walked into the room. But it turns out Alby followed my lead. After that he pushed me into the room and locked the door.

"Bi, listen to me! I myself do not want to zolimi you Bi. How can I let you here by yourself?! I'll keep you in town. So did Mak!"

"You think I'd like to live in a house with my honey? In honey I don't want to ! How could you possibly think of taking me to live together? You don't have a heart to know!", I pushed Alby's chest with my index finger.

All this time I've been a submissive wife and fulfilled everything Alby said. But not for this. I don't want to be like this!

"I've emphasized it many times! I'm not sharing! Clearly!", I said with emphasis while wiping away my tears.

Alby grabbed my shoulder. My body, which was smaller than Alby, was a little shaken. Alby pushed me until we were in bed. Alby's position is right on top of my body.

"But I've also said it many times Bia. I won't let you go at all times because I only love you!", Alby's voice is so heavy but full of reassuring emotions that he really loves me.

I can't reply to Alby anymore because he silenced me first. Again and again I can only give up on my inability to resist Alby.

.

.

.

We are both now under the covers. Alby and I are back to doing our thing and our duty.

Alby still rubbed my stomach under the blanket.

His eyes were closed with his face under my armpits. Our battle was both emotionally draining and energized by Alby. He's really not like the Alby I know. Either because he was emotional, or indeed I just realized if he did this all solely because of fear of losing me.

My hands stretched out rubbing his head that was in front of my face.

"Bi..!", call him soft.

"Heum?", I said.

"Stay with me."

I'm silent petrified. If Mak goes there, it means we'll stay home. And I.don't want to!

"I can't go into town."

Alby looked up at my face.

"Why baby?"

"I can't get to one roof with your new wife. And Mak, Mak will definitely stay with his real daughter on appeal to stay with me."

Alby was silent.

"I'll wait to get back here!", I said at the end.

"What do you mean, baby?", asked Alby, looking into my puffy eyes.

"All right, I'll hang on with our marriage. But I ask, you come home to see me often!", I covered both cheeks.

There's a look of relief on Alby's face. But.the next second he also felt anxious.

"How could I leave you here alone Bia?"

"That's better A, than I should be one roof with your wife!"

"I don't want to be polygamous because I realized, I definitely won't be able to be fair Bi. Maybe true, my love is for you. But I don't have much time for you."

"We just go for A. If someday I give up, it's not your fault! But maybe things aren't on our side!"

Alby and I put our fists together. I don't know what marriage we're going to have.

If you have to choose, A