Hold on or let go!

Eps 113s

I blinked my eyes for a moment. Before the doctor gave me the medical, I was in a conscious position. Even I consciously heard the explanation of Doctor Anita who said if my fetus can not be maintained.

Saddened? Sick? Very! Even very sick can not be described as what it feels like.

But, back again. I accepted this reality. Maybe it's God's way of giving answers to all the problems I face.

I'm the one who can't share and Alby who can't be fair.

Go hard, survive more pain.

With my chest, I put in place the best course of action the doctor took for me.

I looked around my room. There was Mak Titin who was laying herself on the sofa. When I looked to my left side, there was a man I knew very well.

But why is he here? He is no longer a nobody to me. And....Mak let Febri take care of me?

I closed my eyes again. I don't know why I feel like everything's not on my side. Febri who is just another person, my past figure still cares about me. But my husband?

Even he chose to be in the same room as his second wife compared to me who was clearly like this. More need!

Ah, no! I'm not that weak! Without me noticing my tears melted considering a few hours ago. Hearing Alby's words that promise not to leave Silvy and their future child. Alby forgot his promise to me. Whatever, I don't care if I'm considered too childish. But when it comes to taste, only ourselves know. Others are only able to see and position themselves without knowing what it would be like to experience.

Alby's gonna get a kid, but not from my womb. Yeah, he's gonna get Silvy's kid. Not me!

I have made my resolve. Enough to get here! Time will heal my wounds.

In the middle of my daydream, Febri moved his shoulders. Sleeping in such a position is very uncomfortable.

My throat feels dry. Last time I had a drink was eating baso with Anika. At the moment, I think it's past midnight.

"Ehem..ehm!", I tried to cleared my throat to wake up one of them. Febri is responsive.

"Sir!", Febri got up and approached me.

"I'm thirsty!", I said softly. I really feel very weak right now.

Without saying anything, Febri gave me mineral water.

"Udah?", asked Febri as I stopped my suction from the straw. I nodded slowly. Febri put the bottle of mineral water back on the nightstand which I could not reach with my hand in the position I am now.

"How does it feel, is it better?", asked Febri attentively. Without answering, I turned my face towards Mak Titin. The woman looks very tired. Perhaps, he was tired of taking care of his sick son and daughter-in-law. Added to my existence which is also in the same condition.

"Mas who asked permission to take care of you. Kasian mak, he seems really tired."

I agree with a nod.

"Where? Any complaints? let me call a doctor!"

"Ngga mas!", I said shaking.

"Or do you want to eat something? I'm sure you were just eating baso this afternoon, weren't you?"

"I'm ashamed of you. Why do you still care about me! I'm troubling you!"

"Sir, mas did not feel bothered at all. Alby will certainly do the same if his position is fit. She herself is not okay Nduk!"

"Yes, he's not okay. But he made the best decision!"

"Sir, don't think heavy first. Focus on your health!"

I was silent at his true advice, but I still tried to shake him in my heart. I'm good, if I feel good.

"I'm tired, I give up!"

I exhaled violently.

Febri who did not understand Bia's words did not respond to anything.

"It's still night, you better go to sleep again! Tomorrow morning, morning practice pain. So he can we can change to take care of you. At least until Alby's condition improves and is able to take care of you."

"Please don't care about me too much. I don't want to depend on you!"

"Sir, even though you only consider me and a part of your past but, at least please cherish us as your friends, never refuse our help and attention."

"Maos ..."

"Sir, rest yes!", said Febri again.

Although reluctant, I tried to close my eyes again. Febri himself sat back on his bench. The handsome man could not describe what feelings he actually aimed at his ex-lover. His chest pain saw the woman in front of him feel pain, maybe his physical pain is not comparable to the wound he felt.

Alby can't sleep in his nursery. He looked at the gurney next door. Silvy is asleep. Mila tea sat on the bench between her gurney and Silvy.

Slowly, Alby got out of his safe and went out to Bia's room. His heart is not calm if he has not seen his wife open his eyes.

As he was near the door, he faintly heard a familiar voice talking to someone. There was a sense of relief and happiness after knowing that Bia was awake. But his happiness faded when he found Febri who was actually sprightly helping Bia to just give a drink. Alby paused his intention to enter immediately. Chat after chat between Febri and his wife was still able to hear. There was jealousy running over his chest, but Febri's words calmed him down enough. The man seemed sincere about helping his wife. Perhaps he was self-conscious, he did not deserve to treat his wife excessively. Not mahram and maybe just about humanity.

But Alby's sense of calm did not last long after he heard a sentence that was thrown from his wife's lips.

"I'm tired, I give up!"

Really, his wife's brief statement was able to tear apart Alby's chest. Unfortunately, from what Alby caught it seems Febri does not understand the meaning of his wife's words. The proof is that Febri just asked Bia to go back to rest.

What exactly is going on? Why could Bia suddenly be what it is now and cause them to lose their baby-to-be?

*****

Still have to be patient about the review process from kk Mimin need process 🤭🤭

Up from last night, 😔

Thanks all 🙏🙏🙏