I Choose You!
#85 Let's Talk About
I hate myself.
Nope. This is not a talk about life regrets that cannot be lost.
Yet....
“Uhuk! Uhuk!!” my throat hurts so much!!
“Drinking medicine used to sleep again,” papa stroked my forehead which he removed his bangs.
Huuu huhuhu.., pathetic!
I was pale in the middle of class, but I didn't feel any pain. I was even strong to walk from the parking lot to the hospital lobby that had to cross the hot sun.
I just got home and I just fell like this?!
The time from the hospital even more sick, anyway?!!
“Sit down first,” papa led me slowly until I could sit down comfortably.
Slowly my body, which seemed to be going on strike, understood the situation. Moving the hand to welcome the medicine and the glass that papa brought close.
“At school what else is it?”
Hm? A school?
What's in school?
Duh, really! My brain can't think. Remember today at school what⏤cannot!
Why in school... Oh. Aye, right. That's also the reason why I'm sick instantly now.
“Harun, hmm?”
I smiled sourly. This old man knows everything about my life. More than me living it.
Could it be that all this time it turned out that everyone knew what Aaron was like? That's worse.
The first life is too monotonous, and the second is too colorful. Huuuh.., the drama of my life. It was toying with brash children who were not even half the age of my soul.
Really?!
“Stop thinking of something until gini,” papa looks take a pack of cold compresses.
What if they always come to me like a nightmare. And if I manage to unmask her creepy, I always find another nightmare.
Like now.
“What Aaron also threatened papa?”
Papa looked closer. He glued the cooler that was always attached to my forehead.
Sounded the answer I was waiting for, “What threat?”
“Entahlah. Make awayin Rasyi?”
“No,” papa fix sitting at the end of the bed, “Just tell me to pay more attention to Rasyi.”
I looked at him, “I mean?”
“She raged about Kirana to home.”
Heh?
I asked, “He said what?”
Papa speechless, “... pig kayak papa not suitable so dad.”
Heh?
“What?!” I can't believe, “Harun so to papa⏤”
(“IYA, INDEED!!”)
Shouts the re-recording that just came this morning. The way through it is like a flashing light. Makes me even more sure that, that's how it is.
I don't even blame my memory of Aaron getting rougher and unfamiliar.
My gaze still motionless from my feet covered in a thick blanket, “Did Aaron always be that same papa?”
“Hmm mm,” he assented without opening his mouth.
I clutched the blanket that warmed up a part of me. This invisible burden really makes me even more nauseous.
For a moment I thought. Is it so stupid that I can't even realize Aaron's attitude to the people around me? Why can't I realize it?
Aaron, did he deliberately keep his image in front of me, and only in front of me? He probably planned in such a way until now since...it is impossible since the first time he met right?!
“Since when did he like that?” I started leaning towards Papa.
Papa's speechless. He peeked behind his back as he sat behind me at the end of the bed. His face that does not often mean something is still natural like never facing anything.
But then again, I saw his eyes were more pointed at meaning. Is he worried?
His right hand, which was closer to me, stretched out and stroked beside my forehead with the back of his hand.
His low voice began to sound, “He why to Rasyi?”
If the question is like that, there is nothing else I can say but good things.
“Nothing. He was soft with Rasyi,” I clasped his hand and held it on my cheek, “But Rasyi saw Vian's face was battered. Word Firna...”.
“After all. I got to the same Firna. But...”
“Rasyi is also aware right, Aaron can also be rough.”
“Iya, but, Rasyi thought..”.
“That's just a worry for Aaron?”
I could've laughed if the discussion wasn't heartbreaking like this. Papa really read me very easily, like a book that often accompanies him when he cannot sleep.
Papa sighed. He changed the direction of his seat to me. He had to put one foot in bed.
My hand, which was still hanging by his hand, finally came down to the surface of the bed. Together and hanging like when a child is walking with his parents.
“Now, Rasyi want what?”
I focused my forehead to a single point in the middle along with looking at him, “That is what Rasyi confused. Rasyi don't know.”
“Try, Rasyi backward first. Before this, Rasyi wished what the same people around Rasyi?”
Hm? Why discuss that?
If it's like that.., “Harun is soft, the ignorant twins but yes fun, Firna never lies with me.”
“Then, whose problem is it?”
“Harun.”
Waw. How could I have never realized that my mouth could even say it so clearly like this? Really, how much awkwardness I received from Aaron's figure. I don't even believe her that much.
Yet Aaron has always been the most gentle figure.
“Rasyi do not think about the solution first. It is still wrong in Rasyi. Rasyi believes which one? Aaron soft, or coarse?”
Heh...? “Both.”
Papa why did you laugh so? “Yes, people can indeed be rough can be soft. But Rasyi believe it or not, Aaron has a rough side to kayak?”
I'm speechless. Can't answer.
“Don't connect Rasyi to Aaron. What did Rasyi see from Aaron? As a person aja.”
“Means?”
“This is wrong. Rasyi believed Aaron was abrasive of Rasyi's friends. But so fond of Aaron, Rasyi did not want to blame Aaron.”
Heh? I was like that?
“Papa admits Rasyi is sensitive. Oversensitive. Papa doesn't expect Rasyi to understand about Hari.”
Did he talk about how I found out about that immoral grandfather?
That's obvious, right? I've heard it since I was eight months old. It is impossible to make sense for a young child to understand that.
And papa took it as my sensitivity.
“But, sensitize Rasyi has a blind spot,” he tapped my forehead with his free other hand.
“Blind dots?” like games only, “What?”
“Rasyi does not put up the same prejudice as people who Rasyi likes. Stubborn Rasyi is not healthy.”
I've been like that all this time? My judgment of others as far as favoritism goes?
“Makanya, Rasyi does not believe in the same Vian Saga. You must defend Aaron,” for a moment papa seemed to think, “They know, so a little away from Rashi. Rasyi is aware right?”
Aaaa. ha ha ha. I'm a brash friend too huh.
“Now, Rasyi hope Harun how?”
I was silent for a moment, “No threat to anyone.”
Papa smiled faintly. Gently stroked my head, “Then, told him it was like that. The resolute. Apologize the same as Firna.”
Huooh.... I think that's the best.
“Rasyi, dengerin papa,” he clasped my hand tighter than before, “Papa least like Aaron.”
Eh?
“But, if Rasyi does want to be with Aaron. Papa won't stop. As long as one, you treat each other well. No complaints, the big one.”
He approached by tapping his forehead with my forehead.
“Make sure of it, hmmm?” the low voice was very close.
I smile. Papa, this form of cold ice cubes, gives the feeling of warmth that is always anticipated. Hihihah.
“Hihihi, yes,” I immediately approached and hugged her neck, “Love you, papa.”
“Love you too,” reciprocated hugku⏤eh? “Now sleep.”
He suddenly pushed me to lie down?!
“No want~ Pegel!!” i complained.
“Measuring him don't hurt.”
Iiii!!
