I Choose You!
#147 Who's On The Side
“Papa!”
I don't care about the hospital door anymore. All I wanted was to see with my own eyes how the man was doing. Calming my heart that was unable to stay still.
“Whispering.”
Papa. Less than half an hour ago, uncle said he was in critical condition and needed to complete the operation. But he's fine.
“Already, darling. Papa is no longer okay,” Sari came near me.
Yes, papa not why-napa⏤
“Rasyi!” a pair of hands held my body from falling.
“Yes, baby!” Sari sat down in response to me who was no longer strong standing, “Bring to the sofa, come on, Fares.”
I felt a hand pull from Fares lifting me off the floor. He made sure I was sitting on the sofa arranged in this inpatient room.
“Drink first huh?” Sari held out a drink for me.
Can be heard Hendra growling annoyed, “Your son to want to faint so.”
“Here the collision victim, instead of a single accident,” papa looks very healthy to answer.
Elusan in my head, “Uncle is not papa. Looks right?”
I'm nodding.
“Uncle,” Daffa looks sad while sitting at the end of the bed, “Uncle, eat!”
Looks like papa took a Daffa feed of that cheese stick. Ira was also close to both.
I can think of other things when obviously papa just had an accident. Looking at them alone, all my thoughts turned a goal.
For a moment I looked at myself, as if I were outside of a storybook. And all three are in their own stories. My increasingly erratic thinking made me go further and further.
I'mtired. Hallucinations and being haunted by thoughts will be removed from the storybook. Papa and I have already said that will not happen.
But I was tired, and it couldn't get out of my head.
Not wanting to think, I chose to close my eyes and lean on Fares' shoulder.
...)( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( )( )(...
PRANGS!
Aaa. my head is dizzy. I should have been more careful. If this is the case, I'll add more work. The one who's gonna mop up this drink spill is definitely me.
“Ras, why?”
“Take mop dong!”
“Wah, wet. Watch out.”
It seems that one of my classmates has brought a mop and a handle. I need to get back to my consciousness.
“Sini, let me just,” I stretched out my hand.
I took the mop and cleaned up what I was supposed to be cleaning. Fortunately, it was just water from my bottle. And fortunately he fell only on the class floor which was definitely a clean tile.
Forward, backward. Do the same thing until all that wetness disappears.
Keep going. and keep going....
“Ras!”
“Hmm?” I realized that call.
“You to UKS gih.”
For a moment I was silent, “I'm fine. Why to UKS?”
“No papa where is it? Called-in from earlier not nyahut.”
I fixed the position of the mop handle in my hand, “Call why indeed?”
“You till when to mengepelnyaaaaa?”
“I'll clean this up. Patience,” I'm still busy with mops.
“Udah finish it.”
Why else is he this?!
My eyes pierced straight into this guy, “Desak just keep going!”
“Ye, how about trying? It is said that the floor is dry. Get wet even because of the dipel-in continues!”
“Can be silent now?!”
“Basic Karen!”
I looked at him again annoyed, “Delayed, silent!!”
“Ras.”
“What?!” I looked at the person who patted my shoulder this one.
This firna snatched the slow plan I brought, “Udah huh? Let me continue.”
My breath is heavy, “Indeed why am I the one who fusses?! Wh why? I've been useless, so I have to go, so?!”
“Dilangin is done! This again to watch! Move!”
Watching it? I realized I was standing right in the middle of the blackboard. The full class. It seems to be waiting for the projector to be ready to show the story in the form of moving images.
Firna spared the mop from my hand, “Yuk, sit.”
I don't want to talk. Just want to stay in place with no thought at all.
Ha ha ha, like sleeping?
If only these teachers had let us go home in the middle of their teacher meeting schedule. I could have gone straight to sleep without being carried away by the overflowing emotions like now.
In the end I just sat in my own chair. Don't mind those who have trouble borrowing a projector to watch together.
I feel. sick. Sitting quietly like this turned out to make my brain go everywhere. Dark room devoted to those who want to watch. I just want to sleep. No matter and the movie starts to run.
“Rasyi.”
“What else, can be silent no?!”
Aaa. I snapped at Firna again..... Class, everyone, staring this way. Whispering in the middle of the film takes place. Pulling my vocal cords to keep quiet.
Today I am very unstable. No, even I can't hold back my emotions since I saw....
“You're gini because of uncle? Uncle why?”
What did he say?!
Immediately I stand from sitting, “Do not know! Stop taking care of my business!!”
“Rasyi...”.
“I....,” I'm tired.
Walk away I'm from my row of tables and chairs. I want to just exit⏤
[“I don't have a father! Mom is dead. You don't have to come back here!!”]
Wh who?
[“Go!”]
Ha ha ha, the kid in the movie was so easy to throw away his father. He doesn't know what if you're dumped by the person you trust the most and become your only shade!
I hate that movie!
I opened the door wide and walked straight away with my slippers. Explore the usual open corridors in front of school classes. With emotions that are still not calm⏤
“Auw!” I hit someone.
Why are these people always bothering me anyway?!
Just keep running me tight. The place I will explore is determined by my own feet. Dreaming about other problems.
Until my feet finally stopped.
Strong winds were blocked by the main building of the school along with rows of trees on the staircase like terracing. The crowd.
My chest, tightness. Ha ha ha, I still have never gotten used to this crowd. Just thinking about it makes me think I'm nothing without someone else. It's like a dead thing.
Breathe in.... Rasyi, take a breath.
Increasingly crowded. L'm....
“Rasyi!” I can feel someone holding my face, “Nafas. Rasyi, breathe!”
I felt that voice tremble in fear. It felt like those handsome hands were hugging me warmly. But I want to look up to see who it is, even though I already have a big guess.
“It's quieter?” looking sad Fares face responded to my gaze, “Sit here.”
The length of the stairs that follow the entire width of the school. From end to end, it can be used for sitting. Even those of you who stand recklessly on the stairs can sit there.
Fares preferred to sit on the stairs that became my footstool even though he had to turn his body to look at me. Still holding my right hand. His fixed look in my eyes.
I have to behave like normal, “So when to come here?”
He smiled, “So we collided in front of the Rasyi class.”
Oh? So what I hit was Fares....
Silence that Fares broke up, “Rasyi.. please listen-in sister. Rasyi has to talk this straight to uncle. What Rasyi does not like, what Rasyi wants.”
The gaze switches in the direction again, “Rasyi does not want.”
Came continuous gusts of wind that were never boring. We both chose to be quiet while Fares sighed for a moment.
His hands are getting tighter grasping, “Kakak, first, always rejects the feeling of brother to Rasyi. Finally brother did not calm himself,” this time both hands stroked both hands, “It feels bad right? Trust same brother, honestly it should.”
“Rasyi fear...”.
Fares moved his seat and sat on my right. He stroked my head, “What fear? Rasyi does not believe sister will continue to be the same Rasyi?”
I looked at him. Smiled for a moment.
Like realized. Just now I keep thinking about me and papa. But Fares was always beside me, since what I saw in the house.
I hold his hand tighter. Can I describe it in words when I'm dealing with papa?
“Papa out of the hospital..”.
He smiled, “It's okay, brother friend.”
