I Choose You!
#62 Cold and Fear
Night huh? Darkened. This is definitely in my room. It means I just woke up. A pretty good sleep. But it is not enough to go through a full night. It's still one or two o'clock now.
Go to the bathroom first. Hm?
Someone hugged me from behind. I was stuck in a side-to-side sleeping position.
Yes rasyi?
Move a little to sit. I don't want to wake him up.
“Hmmm...,” Rasyi is still holding her arms.
“Rasyi, take off first,” speak me as softly as possible while elus his hair.
So spoiled. Do not understand why this troublesome thing even makes you anxious.
Kuucek. Let him wake up. He complained upset. Even though his eyes were still firmly closed. Don't stop me from disturbing his face.
“Ih! Papa!” he's still sleeping. His hand hit my hand.
“Heh. Hence freelance.”
“Where to...?”
Pull a little of her hand that is still hugging, “Bathroom. Follow?”
“Iih!”
Upset slammed against his sleep behind me. Removed his embrace with frowny eyes. Maybe he's sleeping again.
November, rainy season, cold. It's normal that people's nights have business in the bathroom. Like now. It doesn't take long. Quickly I got out of the bathroom again.
Hooo... Rasyi's awake?
I stepped on the foot right outside the bathroom door. Make room for him to pass. This princess would want to have some business in the bathroom too.
Hm? Rasyi even gave me a hug.
So he waited for me in front of the bathroom to charge for an explanation.
“Why?” I elus his head, “Sleep again.”
Face's hiding. Not looking, I already know he's shaking his head.
I hug this princess too, “Again sleepy like that, why not sleep?”
He's shaking.
He must be scared. If it's true he heard what I talked to Hendra about last night. There is no reason not to be afraid.
“Pa.”
I elus again head him, “Hmm?”
“What does it mean papa drag them to Rasyi?”
Quiescent. Thinks. Bad thing to start an explanation. Maybe I can calm him down first by sleeping?
“We say tomorrow. Now sleep first⏤”
“They are who?!” his face was clearly looking at me, “Who would want to target papa Rasyi again.?”
It was like she wanted to shed tears. Tears cannot come out. I touched both cheeks of this princess. Wearing my thumb to wipe the water in both eyes.
“Rasyi listen, right? They were joking the most. It's okay.”
“How joke?”
How do I explain it? Joking can be kidding. But their jokes are often not funny. It could make this princess even more teary-eyed.
“Clearly now!” this princess was still tightly hugging him.
“Sleep first.”
“Tidak want!” he moaned again his embrace, “Jelasin now or Rasyi..”.
Hoo? The threat? What would he threaten his own father with?
“Or what?” hook him.
He is confused, “.... or, Rasyi will not escape the arms of Rasyi!”
“That's a threat?” heh, I don't feel intimidated, “To RS?”
“Iya!”
“Rasyi kan school.”
“... Rasyi take! Rasyi take papa to school!”
“Bare?”
Heh, he hesitates. Long time she was silent.
“Chiih!” already pissed him off, “Jelasin!!”
It's-it's complicated. The intention is indeed there to explain to Rasyi. But if he shakes like this. If I explain, he'll be even more scared. I'm not saying he won't calm down.
He wants me to lead him to the bed. We sat at the end. Still she hugged me, even though I was no longer in front of her. My right hand finally hugged her too. Hide his face on my shoulder.
“Yakin?”
He nodded strongly.
Breathe in. All right, “Remember papa can flash proof Rasyi's grandfather is guilty?”
Rasyi took off her embrace. A tight grip is still on my shirt. With her scared face.
“What is the relationship with grandfather?”
“Kirana. He's the same friends who helped papa get it. So when taken by the police, their sentence was commuted to two years only.”
Quailed. Rasyi really shakes. His hand was far from my embrace.
“Ma, many more, still many escaped?” his hand was bent to himself. Frightened curmudgeonly. Eyes full of tears.
This is what I avoid. I feel scared every time Rasyi is scared. Prefer to face the illusion when I see the glass. Than to see him like this.
Please, don't cry. Pl-please....
I want to hold his hand. But, he avoided. Rasyi is always afraid of anyone in this situation.
“Rasyi, listen papa,” I can take one hand, “Rasyi!”
“Do not!”
I forced him to hug me again. Even though he was afraid to be touched. Closely embraced him.
“Rasyi, listen,” I don't care how hard his sobs are, “Foolish papa. Papa doesn't know what to do. Papa promised, they won't be anything to Rasyi.”
Driven me strong by him, “Terus papa?!”
Hm? Was I what he was thinking all along? Fear of it all, because he's afraid I'm the one.
I think I'm smiling right now. The proof is that Rasyi is calm.
Open both my hands. Like a regular Rasyi who asked to be hugged. This time I asked him.
Rasyi wants to go with what I ask. I'll make sure the shaking is gone.
Whisper me as gently as possible, “Thank you.”
“Hiks,” the sound of her crying.., “Rasyi scared pa. If there is no papa, how Rasyi?”
Since then. Rasyi yelled so I wouldn't throw him out. I realized he was scared. Not just for fear of criminals. He was also afraid that all he had was now gone. Me included.
My mind never arrived. Apparently he was worried about me.
That's so obvious. Rasyi always wanted to interfere. More concerned with solving problems than his safety. Even though I know he always shakes great.
“Amonth yesterday,” I elus her hair softer, “People who almost hit Rasyi... That's Kirana's same friend.”
Shaking glimpses. I don't think he ever guessed in his mind.
“Kirana invite papa. Forcibly. Papa thought Rasyi wouldn't be afraid if papa just left. So papa go not tell anyone.”
Rasyi and the Hendra family, I didn't say anything.
“Yang Kirana do just invite papa dating in Bali.”
His face was raised from behind a hug. Her tears could just disappear, just from hearing that.
“Papa ever said right? Kirana thinks papa is a doll she wants to collect. There's no way he'd want to hurt papa.”
I kissed this princess. Try to be able to flow a sense of calm.
“Rasyi believes in the same papa, hmm?” our faces look at each other, “Papa could not have given them a chance to hurt us. Papa pull as sure as that too because papa sure it's safe. Hendra will protect.”
Their position is not a free criminal. It should be, all safe.
“Continue doing what papa ladeni?!” Rasyi shouted, “If it is not dangerous, it should not even go to the danger! Let uncle Hendra take care of it!”
“Rasyi, papa says right. If not treated, they add to the fun. Rasyi forgot who had almost hit Rasyi?”
She's speechless. I'm sure he knows what I mean.
“Hendra couldn't catch them either. Because they don't do crime after they get out of jail. Papa does not want to be so, until the prank they are really dangerous,” I hug again.
“But right...”.
He must have doubted. His whole life was always a danger. His body must be on alert.
If only I could entertain him. Switch fear.
“Rasyi.”
She looked at me, “Ya?”
“You dating papa no?”
His eye. Flicker.
Heh, this is gonna be interesting.
