Linger

We All Cry Differently

The cold wind that hit the surface of the skin did not dampen the intention of the Cadets to keep walking down the area of the cemetery complex with a bouquet of Lily flowers in hand.

Behind her, Irina walked carefully, stepping slowly so as not to step on the tombs she passed. There's a Sierra in his trunk. The little girl fell asleep on the way home from her Omanya house. Before coming here, they had indeed picked up Sierra who used to leave the Midshipman at his mother's house during his work.

After walking in the middle of the night darkness, Taruna finally stopped her steps in front of a tomb located at the very end of the block. There are only four or five other tombs around it because there is still a lot of land in this block. Beside the tomb, Taruna had reserved a place for herself. So that one day when he dies, at least he can stay next to the people he loves.

For some time, the cadets fell silent. Standing staring at the tomb bearing the words Dyandra Wijaya along with the date of birth and date of death. Once satisfied, Taruna crouched down. He placed a bouquet of Lily flowers that he brought over the tomb. He rubbed the tombstone slowly while imagining if he was rubbing the face of Dyandra ayu. Imagining her smile was as perfect as those days when their lives were still fine.

"We'll see you again." He looked at the figure who had been living in the underground for a long time. He knew that no matter how many greetings were made, there would never be an answer. But, Taruna will still do it. He would still say hello and share a few words until he knew his tears were dripping involuntarily.

"How have you been? What heaven fun?"

"It's not very fun here." His sister. Smiling wryly at the fact that her life had never been okay since the woman's death.

"But thank you, for at least you left Sierra here with me. If it wasn't for Sierra, I might have died long ago."

"Sierra has grown up now. So beautiful girls are cheerful and not much behavior. He likes to eat chocolate, but I always limit him because it can make his teeth hollow." He remembered with a slightly raised smile. "But, you know, don't you? Mama likes to secretly love chocolate to Sierra pas I don't exist. But that's okay, I'm gonna pretend I don't know to let Sierra be happy."

"Yesterday, he asked me to buy a bike. But I don't love it because I still don't have enough time to let him learn to ride a bike. I want to be by her side for every first thing she can, sister."

The cadets slowly drew and exhaled. The tightness in his chest slowly rose up to his throat, making him feel suffocated and almost die horribly.

There was so much she wanted to say, but all that she was holding back because there was Irina who came here with her. The woman must not hear the bad words she has kept tightly in her head, waiting for the right time to be blown up.

While behind her, Irina just kept quiet. Watching how the man who had always looked tough is now turned into human fatigue. The cadets did not cry, but Irina knew deep inside, the man was injured so much. Tough cadets can also be injured. Just like him and Gavin. Just like the other humans out there.

Irina wanted to help. As a friend who had troubled the Cadets a lot, Irina was eager to help the man take care of his injuries. But, how could Irina help if the source of her injuries alone she did not know? The cadets did not tell much about themselves. Arguably the man had never even tried to show anyone about how the life he had been living.

There was not much Irina knew about the Taruna. About the figure of a woman named Dyandra who lives in this tomb, Irina only knows limited to the fact that the woman is the older sister of Taruna and mother of Sierra. Taruna only once told me that Dyandra died a week after giving birth to Sierra. But the man never said what caused it. And Irina knew herself enough not to ask her all the way there.

The wind was getting stronger and more against their bodies. Irina hugged Sierra, snapping her thick jacket that she let go to wrap the innocent little body. Patting her softly on Sierra's back as the boy wriggled softly in his carry.

"Na," he called quietly when he heard no sound from the man crouching in front of him.

Taruna geming. Not even turning your head. Makes Irina sure that the man is not okay.

"Na, it's night." Said again. Hope the Midshipman understands that the line is a signal he gave to tell them it is time for them to go home.

Coinciding with the clenched lips of the Midshipman, one Cambodian flower fell onto the tomb, right in front of his eyes. The cadet smiled, picked up the yellowish-white Cambodian flower and stared at it for a long time.

In the past, he once joked with Dyandra, that one day if one of them dies, they don't want any Cambodian flowers planted around the tomb because Dyandra doesn't like the scent.

But look now, the Cambodian tree thrives near the tomb of Dyandra and always aborts her flowers until it falls just above the woman's final resting place.

Taruna chuckles. If Dyandra could speak from the grave, she would have nagged at length. Cussing at the tomb manager who has let Cambodian trees grow near his house.

If that were to happen, Taruna would happily listen to every Dyandra chat. He won't interrupt it like he used to.

Unfortunately, all of that is only in the imagination of Taruna only. A long-dead Dyandra would not be able to speak like that anymore.

Satisfied with his nostalgia about the Cambodian flower, he placed it on top of Dyandra's grave. Intentionally, he wanted to make Dyandra upset in nature there. Who knew that Dyandra was upset, that woman would ask her to join her, right?

Then after saying goodbye, Taruna got up. He saw her once again eating Dyandra before she turned her back.

"Rin," call the cadets slowly. He turned his head, finding Irina still standing behind him. Then, as Taruna's eyes caught the innocent face of Sierra falling asleep in a sling, the pain in her chest grew even more intense.

Patience, Sierra. In a moment, it's all done. We don't have to live in this suffering anymore. In a minute, baby. Dad promise.

"Let's go home."

Basically, we all hurt and cry in different ways.

That night, with other Cambodian flowers falling on top of Dyandra's grave, Taruna was determined to finish as soon as possible.

So that his crying no longer needs to be detained. In order for him to more freely pour his love to Sierra, before death pick him up and take him away to meet Dyandra.

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Seriate