Linger

Childhood Friend

It was dawn and Gavin had not slept at all. Last night he was busy calming Irina who was still occasionally crying and lamenting their situation. Even until she fell asleep in her arms, Gavin could still feel the pain she felt through the trail of tears left on her marble cheeks. 

Gavin was silent for a moment looking at Irina's tired face. Two hours ago before the woman could finally fall asleep, they had talked about Taruna and Gavin decided to consider himself in a condition that was too sensitive to think about the closeness of Irina and Taruna excessively. He decided to keep believing in the Midshipman, as well as Irina who never moved away from him at all even though all the bad sides that were inside her had been seen in the eyes of the woman. 

But the problem is, his match with Kalea will not be solved in the same way as when they talk about Taruna. The thing is, this marriage doesn't have a clear end point. Or perhaps, Gavin did not want anything to end, either his relationship with Irina or his marriage to Kalea later.

Selfish. Yeah, Gavin knows he's as selfish as being human. But if suppressing his ego means he has to lose one of the two people he both wants to keep, then Gavin does not mind being labeled as the most selfish human being in the universe. 

Once again, Irina and Kalea were both important to him and he could not lose any of them.

If Irina is someone who reached out to her when she fell, as well as a figure who is able to offer a warm embrace and win, he said, so Kalea was the home she had left for so long and so mad she longed for.

When Mommy first told her about a matchmaking plan with an unknown woman, Gavin rejected her for various reasons. Even though he had to curse himself every night because of his guilt that had rejected Mother's wishes, but Gavin is still trying to hang on to his decision not to glance at other women when there is Irina who can really accept him completely.

But when one fact about the woman he was about to be betrothed to was revealed, Gavin had no more power to resist. No, when the one to be betrothed to her turns out to be a Kalea Dimitria, a childhood friend she's been looking for all along. 

Gavin and Kalea's friendship is not as close as that of Karel, but Kalea's figure is so attached to Gavin's memory since they first met a dozen years ago. 

In the past, when he was eleven years old, Papa had brought him and Mother to live in Bandung because of work. Their move was so sudden that Gavin, who was still in elementary school, had no preparation. In the end, he becomes a loner in his new home environment. Especially because the housing complex he lived in was on average inhabited by adults whose children had grown up. Gavin had no peers there, so he always spent the afternoon with his nanny because Mother was still actively helping Papa's work.

Until one afternoon, after finishing studying with a private teacher who was specially imported by Papa, Gavin invited his caregiver to take a walk to the lake area at the back of the housing complex. Actually, the area is a forbidden area where the residents of the complex should not come when the sun is almost sinking, especially if the situation is quiet and there are no guards watching. But because Gavin was so bored with his routine and he kept whining to his nanny to obey, they actually went to the lake area. 

It was there that Gavin first met Kalea. Gavin remembers once that little Kalea was wearing a green flower dress that was slightly below the knee, his little feet were wrapped in white shoes while his curly hair which was then new along the shoulder was left with a hairpin in the form of a cute white rabbit as a decorator. Kalea was alone, unaccompanied by anyone when Gavin found her enjoying a chocolate-flavored ice cream that had melted to smudge her tiny fingers. Some brown stains also appear left on the child's padlocked cheeks. 

Out of nowhere, Gavin suddenly has the courage to walk closer. For the first time he invites others to talk first, and the good news is, little Kalea responds happily to his friendship request.

From that afternoon Gavin and Kalea became friends. They often meet in the lake area if the weather is sunny. If it is raining, they are forced not to meet because Mother strictly forbids her to run out of the house when the weather is bad. 

Simply put, Kalea was the first friend Gavin had. The child managed to save him from the loneliness that whack because Mother and Papa are both busy with work. 

Until one day in the eighth month after their move, bad news forced Gavin to receive with air. Papa's work in Bandung was completed and they had to return to Jakarta, right on Kalea's birthday. They had promised to celebrate the anniversary together, but Gavin could never keep that promise. Never mind keeping the promise to celebrate Kalea's birthday, he did not even have time to say goodbye to the child because Papa brought him and Mother suddenly, and suddenly, he said, it was as if something was so urgent that they immediately left Bandung that day. 

That time, when he accidentally looked back, Gavin found Kalea running after the car that was traveling at a slow speed. The boy continued to chase her all the way to the highway, eventually, the car's speed increased on the crowded streets and Kalea's small body fell on the hard asphalt when another car from the opposite direction sped towards the boy. The sound of the honking horn was earthy after the car was suddenly brake so as not to hit the small body of Kalea, making other vehicles behind him surprised and there was a collision between a car and several motorcycles. Just as the raindrop began to fall and in an instant turned into a torrential downpour, Gavin watched as the people there ran over to Kalea to make sure that the boy was okay. While Gavin can only be silent as the car that Papa drives away and he completely loses his sight of Kalea.

For years Gavin lived in anxiety because of his guilt towards Kalea. Every night, he thought of Kalea, questioning how she was doing and whether the tragedy of the afternoon changed much of the boy's life. 

So when he found out the woman Mother had brought him was Kalea whom he had been looking for, Gavin did not have to think twice about accepting this match. He wanted to make amends to Kalea. Redeeming promises that he cannot keep as well as the guilt he left because he did not have time to say goodbye.

But more than that, Gavin wants to start everything over from scratch. He wanted to introduce himself to Kalea, to first mention his name out loud because a dozen years ago when they first met, Gavin only introduced himself as Abang. Because little Gavin was not used to saying his own name. Because Mother and Papa and other family members always call him by the name of Abang instead of calling his name. Gavin wants to show his existence in front of Kalea. He wanted Kalea to know that the brother who had left her was alive today and was trying to make amends in the past.

"Vin, man," 

Gavin was stunned as Irina's hoarse voice greeted her sense of hearing. He slightly lowered his head, looking at Irina who was still closed in his arms. Her arms were already numb because Irina made it as a pillow, but Gavin did not mind at all. He could still lengthen a smile as Irina's eyes slowly opened.

"Why not sleep?" irina asked with a fixed gaze attached to Gavin's dark bead.

"I'll take care of you." He said, reaching out and then rubbing Irina's marble cheeks that felt so small in her palm.

"But you need to sleep." Irina said as she clasped Gavin's hand on her cheek, making the rubbing motion that the man made practically come to a halt.

"I need you more."

After saying that, no more sentences followed from his lips. Gavin moved his face forward, looked at Irina fixedly and then landed a kiss on her forehead. Gavin let his lips sit still for quite a while on Irina's forehead while he began to close his eyes. His big hand moved, pulling Irina's body closer to him then he held her tight.

"I need you." His whisper on the sidelines of an increasingly tightened embrace.

In the silence that was created, Gavin quietly chanted a prayer. Hopefully he can say the same to Kalea. That women are important, and Gavin needs them.

Seriate