Linger

His name is Gavin

"So his name is Gavin?" karel asked while chewing his chocolate-flavored ice cream cone. Yes, chewed. Karel did not like to lick ice cream slowly because it would be very troublesome when the ice cream melted and he had to work hard to clean the sticky melt. Not to mention if the melt fell on his shirt, which there Ibun would nag at a speed of 1000 words per minute on him. So he prefers to chew it directly even though he has to cringe a few times because his teeth feel sore.

"Gavin whose son owns the TV station? What's the name I forgot?"

"Jonathan Abdi Cakraditya."

"Well, that. So, is that really Gavin?" ask Karel again. Trying to make sure that the Gavin Kalea meant is indeed the Gavin. 

"Yes." Yeah." Kalea nodded. His hand moved slowly to open the fifth kinderjoy pack after the fourth finished he devour thirteen seconds ago.

"Keep, how's it going?"

Karel could not hide his curiosity. Thirteen years. Please remember again. Thirteen years they are friends and Karel has never seen Males attracted to men. Isn't it natural that Karel wants to know what kind of figure Gavin has made this friend did not stop smiling since? Please also remember that Kalea once said she did not want to meet the man so that this ridiculous matchmaking did not need to continue. And that's what Kalea said less than 24 hours before meeting Gavin. So, what would make Kalea change her mind all of a sudden?

"When it's about matchmaking, I don't know yet. It's too early to say yes, isn't it? I just met Gavin once and what appeared before my eyes could be just a shell that was deliberately polished beautifully in such a way that I was interested." Kalea spoke after swallowing the kinderjoy balls that she finished chewing. His eyes looked forward, on the road that still seemed crowded by the passing of vehicles. 

The rain had already stopped since fifteen minutes ago, but the cold brought was still left behind until now. Kalea cursed her stubbornness that refused to go home first and replaced her shorts with training. As a result of his stubbornness, he was now shivering with cold. 

Indomaret is still crowded by customers, but the rows of seats available in front of it are completely untouched by other visitors. Only Kalea and Karel had been sitting there since half an hour ago. With a noisy kinderjoy crackle bag, ice cream and some snacks. 

"But you're still going to see him?" 

Kalea turned her head, only to find that Karel was looking at her deeply. There was a pause before he finally nodded and looked back at the streets.

"About ascertaining whether this matchmaking is indeed feasible or not."

Kalea knew, when she decided to step up, there would be a risk she would have to take from every trace she took. Trying to get to know Gavin further means he is ready to accept the other sides of the man he did not meet on the first day they met. Kalea had prepared her heart to be disappointed, it's just that he hopes his disappointment will only be limited to Gavin who turned out to have a habit of biting his dirty fingernails or the man who turned out to be a little indifferent and did not have much time to spend alone. For more serious matters than that, Kalea thinks he is still not ready.

"That means there's a chance you'll accept this match, am I right?"

Karel could not help the tightness in his chest as Kalea nodded with a gaze that was still straight ahead. Thirteen years together, and half Karel spent loving the girl secretly. The matchmaking agenda that he had heard lately had made his heart crumble, what if the matchmaking was finally not only an agenda but really implemented? Perhaps Karel would lose half his life already accustomed to the presence of Kalea.

Whether the demons from where tried to influence him, Karel suddenly hoped that Gavin was not such a good man. So that Kalea has a reason not to accept this match and she has a chance to express her feelings. Karel wanted to be selfish for once. If only he could.

*****

Half past ten in the evening. After the six kindergartens were devoured by Kalea and they had circled around the complex using a motor, Karel finally drove Kalea home. Not only until the front of the gate, the man did not deliver Kalea to the front door of his room. 

"No need to get to the front door of the room as well." Kalea said as Karel let go of their hand. 

"No need to get to the front door of the room but my hands are not removed from earlier." Cibir Karel who made Kalea chuckle. It's nothing, but Karel's signature julid facial expression is really fun to look at. Kalea seemed to get new energy when she saw her best friend revealed that expression.

"There you go in. Wash your feet, wash your face, brush your teeth and sleep." Karel's Order.

"I'm not a child." Kalea throbbed as Karel's big hands rattled her hair in an anxious state.

"For me you will always be a child." 

"Reverse gues. If I need a phone call, I will pick up on the count of three. Unless I'm sleeping again, different story." Karel's speech ended with a ruckus.

After that Kalea went into her room and Karel immediately walked down the stairs. In the living room, Mama was still sitting on the sofa while watching a news release this time discussing the case of a feud between fellow police officers. It's a case that's been going on for two weeks, and strangely still not visible. Ah, why would Karel care about such an unimportant case?

"Why haven't you returned to the office? Not looking at it from earlier?" karel asked, instead of going home as he told Kalea, he sat down next to Mama. 

"Out of town. Just left this afternoon." Mama said, letting Karel lean his head on her shoulders. Karel is so common. Besides because Mama who has been used to treat Karel like her own child because she had always wanted to have a son, Mama also felt grateful because Karel had wanted to be a friend for Kalea who had been asking for forgiveness since childhood.

"Kok Kale didn't tell Karel that Papa went to work?" 

"Kalea doesn't know. Immediate service." 

Karel nodded with his head still resting on Mama's shoulder.

"Ma?"

"Hmm?"

"Kale really wants to be fooled by his son who has a TV station, huh?" show Karel on a television screen with the logo of one of Gavin's father's private TV stations.

"If her son wants to." Unlike yesterday when Mama was so enthusiastic to match Kalea with Gavin, this time, in front of Karel Mama was more calm. 

"If his son doesn't want to mean his match doesn't come, huh?" Karel continued to ask, with a tone of voice similar to a child who had many questions about the world.

"Yes. Kan, can't make a meaning." Mama said so wisely. If Kalea had heard, the child would have laughed out loud because what Mama was saying now was completely inversely proportional to what Kalea had heard before. 

"Why? You don't want Kalea to marry someone else, do you?"

Hearing that question slip away unhindered from Mama's lips made Karel pull her head off Mama's shoulder. He looked at Mama in disbelief. As if I could ask you that? Am I showing too much love for Kalea? Feelings have been held so far. Or actually, I did not manage to hide anything, only Kalea who is not sensitive to my feelings?

That question would not be asked Karel directly to Mama. But hearing the woman chuckle and the next second their eyes met, Karel already knew the answer. Apparently he failed to hide his feelings, and Kalea was the one who was too insensitive so that their relationship went this way. Just like that Karel laughed in a discordant voice. Laughing at his relationship with Kalea. Laughing at his cowardly attitude that doesn't dare to come out in the face of fear of losing a friend. Laughing at his foolish hopes that Kalea wanted to be sensitive to his feelings, he always tried to hide it from everyone.

"Mama doesn't mind whoever Kalea gets married to. Because for Mama, the child's happiness is all that matters." 

"This matchmaking incident is just one way to help Kalea meet the people she wants. And if it turns out that he doesn't want Gavin, yes Mama and Papa won't mean him." My mother's words sound sincere. So Karel could only nod.

"And even if it turns out that Kalea wants it to be you, Mama doesn't mind at all." 

Ah... Mama shouldn't have spoken like that. Because it makes Karel feel given false hope. If indeed Mama does not mind to have Karel as a daughter-in-law, why is the arranged marriage not agreed between Mama and Ibun only? Why was Kalea not betrothed to Karel, but instead to a foreign man she had never known before?

There are still many questions that arise from Mama's statement. The questions that now swirled in Karel's head to make him dizzy instead of playing. Before he fainted here, Karel resigned. At least, if it had to look pathetic, he would have done it in his own room. Where there was only him, God, and the demons of the curse in his room who would see how pitiful an Azerya Karelino Gautama was. 

After a brief peek at Mama's cheek, Karel walked over. The motorbike parked in the front yard of Kalea house he did not drive, but he led it like he was running out of gasoline. Half Karel's life drifted somewhere, he did not even hear Mr. Dadang's greeting when the middle-aged man opened the door for him.

Karel, you're pathetic.