Small Stars For Faila

Wanna go far

It turned out that the day of farewell was getting closer. The marriage agreement is one week away. That means one week in the future I will hold the New title. Young Widow, I said in my heart, getting upset,

“Fai, let's talk”

“Let's just say it, my head hurts, just take me to grandpa”'s house

“Why go to Grandpa's house ? Didn't we go to Mami aja”Frans' house to look at me at a glance.

“My grandfather just died today Frans I want to accompany Brother Hendra. He has no one but me “

Frans's face is not so agree I go back to Grandpa” Frans' house to talk to me about something important .I can read it from her book. Because from the first night three weeks ago we never had time to talk together. Because I spent time keeping Grandpa deliberately dodging

I know what Frans wants to talk to me about. But enough is enough for me, I want to go far

Wanting to be in a place where no one doesn't recognize me, living a new life.

“Alright” Frans chose to relinquish,

Although his face looked angry, because of the rejection I had, lately, the more he tried to get closer and wanted to fix everything, the more I moved away and made some distance between us.

My heart that is hurting will not be possible like it used to be. Like broken glass, however the effort to unite the fragments, will not be the same as before.

Arriving in front of Grandpa's house. He sat down and took a deep breath.

“See you Frans” I say goodbye, my hand reached Frans' car door. But the hand held my arm. His eyes glared at me, For a moment my heart was broken. Rarely –rarely do I see the glare of Frans's face . Usually he is always being assertive to look serious in everything. But this time he was so tormented withholding his feelings.

“Can't we talk for a minute?” Frans is still holding my arm.

But I've decided walking alone doesn't want to be affected anymore. I shook my head to apologize to Frans. The reason I was tired and tired he finally understood too.

“I'll come home later Frans , but for now give me time . I want to be with Hendro first. You just go home”

“But what will my family say if I do not accompany you at times like this “ His eyes look at me like a plea

“Tell me, I want to be alone, Your family must understand and you are good at it”

“Say bluntly at this time. Faila, don't give me any hope in vain. Do you intend to leave me” That question makes the head more dizzy.

“I go first”

“Is that really your plan?” Frans' face hardened and his brown eyes looked at me very sharply.

“I just want to Rest Frans, I'm tired because the last few days I haven't slept”. I ignored that question. Letting those questions pass. Maybe in Frans's mind it was very disturbing but let it go. He endured his own feelings, though,

“What's wrong with answering”the voice is rising, I challenge it no longer afraid :Toh also want to Collapse.

“I don't want to answer it at the moment, because I don't have the answer” yet

“Alright please come out” Frans said in anger. But for me it's good. At least make me feel more confident stepping in

He drove his car so violently that there was a squeaking sound from the tires of his car.

He was angry and from that day on, he did not come to see me again .

Finally the day came, not felt. I stared at the red circle in the calendar at the little Nakas beside my bed .the date circled with the red pen, reminding me that my time was over. Now I am a widow

Our 6-month marriage contract expires today.

“Can I live this?” my chest feels tight thinking about it.

It didn't feel like a week was the old man either, leaving us. But strangely the sense of loss was even more pronounced. Still often feel grandfather is still in the usual place grandfather sitting reading a book.

As I thought, Hendra's brother didn't want to stay in Indonesia, he decided to return to London England

Hendra won't leave me alone either. He and Tari decided to marry Abroad although some previously they both had argued. Because Dance has different beliefs with Us . Enduring his faith, so did Brother Hendra persist in his belief. I don't want to interfere in their love affairs between my best friend and brother.

They have their own love story.Love different religions. But it doesn't hinder them both. Had secretlyman a few days.To decide they will marry Abroad. The preparation of the passport is also completed.

I don't know where to start, to face the Frans family. I decided it was good to talk to Frans one eye.

I tried calling Frans but . He didn't lift it.

I want to talk to Frans. “Do you have time tonight? I sent him a message, because by phone he didn't answer.

He replied to her for a long time.

“Iya just came, to my apartment tonight” He replied to her.

But why should it be in his apartment anyway? I muttered .But trying to throw away negative thoughts –thoughts.

Decided to obey him, despite the unpleasant feelings in my heart, but I decided to leave too.

The clock shows 20:00 p.m. I finally arrived at Frans' apartment. It took a lot of effort to get through the jammed streets to his apartment in Margonda Depok.

~Tiying~

I hit the number 7 of the tube-shaped elevator transporting me to the seventh floor. I'm still enveloped in the feeling between fear ,

Chest, it feels increasingly claustrophobic. The sound of my heart became more and more rhythmic when I arrived at the destination floor. I tried to calm my heart and take a deep breath throwing out of my nose .Hoping that the small ritual is able to stabilize the heart that is getting more and more bedetup-detup is not strange.

I glanced at the small, circular watch on my wrist. The time is exactly as agreed with the man who will soon be just an ex-husband for me.

After taking a few deep breaths I decided to pump up my courage and press the bell

~Ting-tong~

~Ting-Tong~

Pressed up twice, but no answer. I was getting more agitated at the press the third time there, said someone to bend his head from the crack of the door. But not Frans

Looks like one of Frans' basketball team mates. Aguses. He looked at me and told me to come in.

“There are Frans not ? I asked half confused

“There let's go in Fai” Agus open the door.

My eyes glared in disbelief The sound of the music was so whispering. The volume, the lights are flickering feel in a night club. Frans had parties with his friends. He has not realized my arrival. Or have realized it but he chose cuek. Because he was still busy chatting with his friends one hand holding a glass of drink and the other hand holding the smoky thing. The thing I hate so much about one on this earth. Because the smoke can make me cough and never until almost fainted due to dizziness.

Making me even more angry, there was Adella there and the tiara and Vera, Agus whispered my arrival to Frans He glanced at me and asked permission from his friends.

My hatred grew even more to see his face, as I wept lamenting Fate. He's just having fun here

“This is Fai, join,” said Frans looks very foreign in my eyes.

“It looks like you're busy. Maybe next time, I turned around wanting to leave that bastard.People were sick, hateful to get mixed up into one . I wanted to scream vent my anger.

He held the door with his body.His face looked angry. But I'm more angry.

“You said ‘ you want to talk important to me” Frans said.

“Not so Frans. You already gave the answer,” I said clenching my hand squeezing it firmly. Holding back my emotions that wanted to explode.