Small Stars For Faila

My childhood orphanage

“Down where Neng?”  ask the driver seems to have to report first the location of the decline, he said,

“According to the point of pack,” answered me without thinking first maybe because of the frequent ride online vehicle in the Capital

“Sorry neng just heard that where is it?” Ask the old man who is starting to get old

There are young people who are laughing with me,

“This is angkot mba instead of Grab,” chirp them,

Oh my goodness it came down where I was confused too. “Down where aja pak” replied me origin

“Iya the Nengnya go where,” ask sibapak

“Kasih Ibu orphanage, still far away sir?,” my question on sibapak only that crossed, still far away sir,

“Let's one ride aja Neng in front,” said sibapak with Friendly.

So I decided to go to that place where I was abandoned by my grandfather. A terrible place is actually for me, a place where I have suffered a lot, not even my intention would stop by again.

But because there is no other place that I can go, you do not want the past to be remembered in my mind again,

And maybe it'll make me feel breathless, though,

I followed the advice of the Father, down on the shoulder of the road near the densification,

“That's the car, which is Blue 03 ride only,” pinta the kind father.

Don't forget I'm very grateful to the kind-hearted father, no problem

“Then I said down at Jalan Nangka walk for a while, already reached Kasih Ibu orphanage, said the Father explained,

“Good sir, thank you,” I said to the good driver.

Finally my feet reached near the Panti, after the blue car dropped me off at the point I mentioned the driver's father,

I stood staring around, glimpsed and perhaps faintly, I had passed through that place, once,

Footstool down the path, the road is a bit uphill Home of the mother's Love House still stands firmly in the middle of the expanse of rice fields,

The memory came back again 7-year-old boy who was thrown away.  My grandfather went to this orphanage

There was one orphanage guard at the time who treated me very badly, probably because I was too whiny from the other orphanage children,

Torture often happened, to me at that time, locked in a warehouse, and told to wash the clothes of all the children of the Panti, because often crying to call my grandfather, several times tied up in the Warehouse and watered cold water.

Looking at it from afar, it gives me goosebumps and doubt will step in to get there. For me it's not an orphanage, it's called the Torture House.

May the children who are there not experience what I have experienced, I concluded

I'm not ready to go there yet, but there are only a few steps left. But my heart has not been able to meet again with the wounds of my past.

Maybe someday I'll come and maybe I'll bring something to them I'll hand out to those less fortunate kids. I stepped back and hesitated between wanting to leave or not.

My step back, it seemed like the hesitating attitude I was doing, seized the attention of the passing father

“Why Neng? where to go to take inter.”

“I want to go back sir, but I'm scared and not ready,”

“Why not ready, hayoo or neng sibapak also want to be right,” said sibapak logat sunda.

“I'm also a former from here sir, the guard was evil, so I'm afraid again there”

“Now it is not Neng, Keeper mah teh already good –baik all because it has replaced the caretaker panti,”

Surely the Panti was a lot different, no longer like, the storage room, the wall of his papa which used to be now changed into a permanent wall

And there is a small mosque on the side of the Panti and the atmosphere is getting neat and beautiful.

Enter non please said the guard father who seems to be old,

Where the mother who used to torment me may have died whispered me in the heart,

Nothing happened to me, maybe because the lant was different and the owner was different, too,

After a long chat and a story of many destinations for my arrival, the father and the caretaker Mother of the House allowed me to stay and stay there,

I'm not wasting the talent I have as a chef, there are 20 tens of children, orphanage residents of all ages,

“We will cook”kakak a Koki” I ngaku-ngaku.

Though not. Only limited to Hoby and desires that have not been achieved, the quality of being a Chef does not yet exist. But for sure, smart and can in terms of cooking, cooking,

Seeing them enjoy the food I make, makes me jealous of them,

Envy because of their childhood they can enjoy with joy, lucky in their time the owner of the Panti has been replaced

I felt right there, I spent almost two days with that poor kid.

They are disadvantaged children just like me and the mother of the Coast Guard is also happy, with me because you replaced her role as a chef

The second day, again cool to play with children, the black car stopped, for children the child was a blessing and sometimes as a fear for other children, he said,

Maybe one of their friends will be taken for adoption.

But the car this time, the children even ran to approach “Kakakak!”

My gaze was diverted to the figure that made me want to die standing, Felix the man in the look of a jutek came to bring the parcels to the children, not only that Rio was there too, Rio was there,

They both visit children is always routine done both, if there is a holiday they come to visit said the guard Father Panti.

I wanted to run, dodge, but it was too late, Rio already hunted to see me

“Faila” Both of them looked at me and one of them with a gaze as if to swallow me alive with her burning eyes.

Yes Felix looked at me with a fierce look. Probably because of my blur and lied to her two days ago,

“So you ran here,”he said later, only this time I was afraid to see the eyes of someone who looked at me, like a game animal

“Iya,” answered I looked down a little scared because I felt guilty,

” You know I was blamed for your behavior,” Felix said with an angry face.

But unlike Rio who times treat me with very sweet even very romantic.

“Yes forsake Fai, what's wrong with you, why hazy” said Rio with his adorable smile.

“We all panic your family too, aunt Mira too,” Rio said gently

But suddenly Felix took out his cell phone to call someone maybe my grandfather but my hand deftly caught his hand so as not to call my family,

“What are you doing here?” Felix asked who saw my fear holding his hand

“Jagan called, I beg” I said with a clear face,

Though I went from Jakarta so that I could calm the minds of all the pilgrimages to the graves of my parents, but arrived in Malang as if in the terror of a more annoying creature.

He was a proud man who seemed to hate me so much, his mouth was spicy every time he spoke,