Small Stars For Faila

A deep sadness

“We go home” I'm a little scared.

The rain had stopped, when the way back home, there was a group of teenagers sitting down drinking. In the corner of the road we were going to pass, now I regret why I had to go out earlier.

“Frans I'm scared ” I said

Suddenly, he squatted in front of me.

“Aiklah,” door.

“A-a-what do you want to do?” I asked a little bit of a wave

“Holding you, hurry up, hurry up, if you don't want us to be wretched because of you “ said Frans with his face looking bright in the light of street lights.

My heart was beating so hard, between fear of doubt and bad taste, mixed into one.

Because my relationship with Frans was not in the right portion, in doing the present sling, we were in an inner war at the time, she said,

But rather than something happen I obey Frans,

“But I'm heavy Frans!” say

“No need to tell me I already know Faila” is not the first ” Frans said

“Oh”iya right, I used to always ask to be carried to her .

“Quick Faila”

I thought I was being carried by him even though he might be heavy. But a burden as big as I would not be a problem for Frans. His muscles just poking behind the shirt in use, the shirt shows how hard the muscles of Frans' hand.

I subconsciously hugged his neck tightly, holding back my fear, as we passed the young –young who again drank that –drink, his voice sounded loud like someone else fighting.

I held my breath, for a long time I buried my face on the man's solid back.

I breathe because they don't bother us. One even greeted politely.

“Why bang the chick ?” Ask Frans who sits closer to the street

“Again bang, Excuse me yes,” said Frans politely, it turns out there are still sane from among them.

“Monggo-monggo” mas says they.

“Udah I got off the word On Frans . but He didn't rub it, He kept holding me” What He didn't hear me” Whisper me in heart. Frans I came down I said again.

My phone's got a call coming in. I'm reachin', jacket pocket.

But seeing Felix's name on my phone screen. My heart is hot and angry. I let him, call it a few times.

“Frans can you drop me?,” I said to Frans but he was silent

“Lift only , it may be important Frans said.

“It's true who called at 2am late if it's not an emergency. But as far as Felix was concerned, I ignored him, and had no intention of lifting him up, of emergency or dying I did not care.

Because I didn't lift it. He called Frans this time

But not so with Frans he picked it up quickly.

“Halo, what's the matter?” frans said with anger

“What Faila is with you, give him his phone I want to talk to him ,”heard clearly that voice somehow Frans meant. He blamed the speaker.

“This,” said Frans who was still holding my body,

“Halo” said I held a turbulent taste in my chest.

“Halo Fai” You haven't slept yes I know that, because tomorrow you will get married yes..Haa haaa haaa. His tone was like a drunk.

Fai you're still there?”

“Iya say, you want to say what felix.” is

“I want to congratulate you Fai. Sorry for the series-“ Skip first

We, already at the door ”Please put me down Frans,” I said My hand closed the phone screen with one palm of my hand.

He looked at me, I told him to go inside first.

“Here is the danger of Faila, do you know it?”

I went in, but a little bit away from Frans, I wanted to vent my anger on Felix who ruined my life, ' I wanted to curse him.

But free, he was drunk again probably not aware of what he was telling me at this moment

I quietly took a breath, I stepped in listening to him babble alone.

I saw Frans enter the house first, I stood still . I was silent when one word I never heard came out of Felix's mouth

“Fai I'm sorry, because I hurt you, I never revealed this word while you're here. I love you Fai,” hearing those two confessions I cried sobbing sobbing sob. I slightly moved away from the entrance so Frans wouldn't hear my cry

“What have you done to my life Felix, why have you ruined my life so far, how big is my sin to you?” I just love her if it's her fault. What a difference does it make to you, who still loves your ex-fiance, he hates me so much right now Felix. He considers me cheap whether you are satisfied now. Dance on my senses now. I never asked you this, but why did you do it” I sobbed at Felix who might not be aware of what I was saying. But my heart was a little relieved when I took out the uneg –uneg in my heart.

“Fai why are you crying?” ask felix

“Because you punished me so severely, maybe if you confessed at the time I was there “ maybe this time there will not happen felix, you know I am very tormented at this time, you know I am very tormented, I feel guilty just because of my confession to you”

“I'm sorry, I don't want to punish you, but I hate Frans, because you prefer him over me” Felix said.

“But he hates me so much, right now, not only He even his family also felix, everyone insulted me, I dare not come out because of you.

You punish me” I still sob with shoulders up and down for holding the turmoil in my heart, want me to get it all out on Felix but-“

“You are still a long time with the crying event, I want to use my phone” Frans said standing right behind me .I stood shocked looking at his face.

His gaze was cynical, maybe he misunderstood again. Since I was crying, he pulled his phone roughly, fortunately I had already turned off the call

.

The clock has shown that at 3 am I am still sitting in front of the porch, now I am afraid to go into the room, I am afraid I can not sleep and feel fear later and my trauma even relapsed again,

It's been a while since I tried to reconcile with myself and forgive my brother and grandfather .But right now, I am afraid of my condition, the sadness I feel is excruciating

Because the people I love hate me so much One unwanted marriage and it's been decided when it's going to end, even hated by parents who used to be very affectionate now the hatred is greater than the affection received so far. If it's like this where there lies my spirit again

Even I feel like my heart is squeezed and crushed to the ground by hot water

I lifted my legs up on the chair and hugged my knees shutting my head.

“Do you want to plan on sleeping outside at this time?” the sound startled me again that my eyes were about to close wanting to start sleeping.

“Felix?? A-a-what are you going to do here, how are you suddenly here,” I was shocked to panic like a dream.

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