Holy Prison

PS2. 7 - Where My Heart Comes

Me and Gus Faiz are fully dressed. Say goodbye to Mom and Dad. After that, we went straight out of the house. Gus Faiz opened the car door for me. This car belongs to Papa. I don't want to get in the car.

"Is there a place you want to go, An?" ask Gus Faiz.

I'm turning. I'm honestly confused as to what to say. However, after I sped up quickly, I decided.

"I want to go to Monas." I told Gus Faiz.

Remembering Monas, I remembered Farha again, no matter how she was now. I miss him so much. Besides Farha, I miss Linda and Arum a lot. Linda is no longer back in Jakarta, it seems like the house she once owned has been sold. Meanwhile, Arum I don't know how it is. Aaron, I don't dare ask my husband for Aaron's number.

On my wedding day yesterday, they didn't come. It's not really their fault, it's just that I don't know how to contact them. I just gave them my business card, stupidly I can only wait without being able to do anything.

I've been searching on social media but I didn't find them, it looks like Linda and Arum aren't using that.

"To Monas?" ask Gus Faiz.

I'm nodding.

"All right" said Gus Faiz.

It seems he has memorized the streets of Jakarta, this is seen from Gue Faiz who does not use GPS to get to Monas. He kept driving his car. We are both silent.

Seeing this very awkward situation, Gus Faiz turned on the car radio. Suddenly, a radio announcer was intending to broadcast a romantic song. The announcer again mentioned that he wanted to play a song owned by singer Adera titled Muara. I've never heard of it but from the title alone I know, the song will be romantic.

...You are a heart poem...

...In the longed for the unbrimmed...

...I want you to exist...

...When I opened my eyes...

...Until 'I close it back~...

Why do I reflexively look at Gus Faiz. Gus Faiz glanced at me.

"What's wrong?" ask Gus Faiz.

I shook my head, "It's okay, Mas." he said.

...You cleared the gray fog...

...The savannah of my search...

...Like the morning dew...

...You let go of the thirst of the drought of the heart...

My heart was suddenly beating hard. This song really expresses how I feel. It is clear with beautiful language.

If this song goes on my cheek will be red. I'm going to change the radio channel.

Suddenly I heard Gus Faiz singing. I stopped the movement of my hand, then pulled back. I glanced at Gus Faiz.

...You're the morning painting...

...The one I drew for my gun...

...You're the flower...

...Which colors my spring...

...In this heart of sorrow...

...You made it bright...

Gus Faiz deliberately sang this song. I began to wonder if the song she was singing was directed at me. I mean, in this car it's just the two of us. So, no matter which part of my heart I felt that the song was directed at me. But Gus Faiz just happens to know his song and sing. I turned my eyes to the window, hiding my happy feelings.

...You're my eye...

...And you are the ocean...

...The place where my heart empties....

Where my heart empties. My heart really rippled. I felt like I really wanted to smile at that melodious voice, especially thinking about that song she was pointing at me. I slowly looked. She's staring. My heart, really gurgled quickly. The air is now heating up.

...You are the answer to my prayer...

...That ended my wait...

...You put hope in your heart…...

I bit my lower lip looking at the look in Gus Faiz's eyes that were on me, his eyes as if to say that the song was really aimed at me.

"Don't be bitten" said Gus Faiz.

His hand was about to touch my chin. I reflexively dodged until Gus Faiz's hand fell silent in midair.

Nindy, stupid. -rutukku in the heart.

Gus Faiz pulled his hand back. His face looked disappointed but he said nothing. I feel guilty. I cursed my reflex movements that I could not control.

Shortly after when we were about to reach Monas, Azan Zuhur reverberated.

"We pray first" said Gus Faiz.

"Okay, Mom." I said.

Gus Faiz took me to the Istiqlal Mosque. When we finished, we went out. We also walked in tandem. Gus Faiz was silent, I could only occasionally glance at him. I really feel guilty. I thought about the possibility that he was angry with me.

We came to the crossroads of men and women.

"Mass?" call me when he turns around to leave.

He looked at me.

This attitude reminds me of the old Gus Faiz. Gus Faiz was cold, handsome, and very irritable to speak.

"W-are you mad at me?" my many.

He smiled, "No" she said.

I was confused what else to say. Gus Faiz who seemed to know what I was thinking immediately told me to come in, "You come in" he said.

I'm nodding. We parted. I went to the place of wudu, this is the first time I set foot in the Istiqlal Mosque even though I have lived in Jakarta since childhood. After wudu, I also pray using my own face.

After the prayer I tendered my body to the walls of the Mosque. Then remove the powder, lipstick and small glass.

Suddenly there were two women sitting beside me, I smiled at them, they smiled back at me. Then we started to get busy with our activities.

"You know what, Bela, if Tia's husband plays girl?" a woman asked her friend Bela.

I don't care about their stories. It turned out that they were preaching to their other friends. I continued to wear enough powder and lipstick. I deeply regret their gibbah activity. Already gibah, in the Masjid anyway.

"Lho, isn't her husband nice? I saw her husband look so in love with Tia, Sumi." Bela told Sumi.

I put the powder, lipstick, and small glass in the bag. I folded my mouth and put it in, too.

"Well, there it is. It is not entirely her husband's fault. Because Tia does not want to be touched with her husband. So, her husband is looking for an impingement" Sumi said.

I reflexively turned my head, curious as to what was happening.

"What's up, Ma'am?" ask Bela to me. I seem to have eavesdropped on their conversation.

"Sorry, Ma'am. I do not mean eavesdropping, nor do I allow gibah activity, only may I ask something?" I asked Sumi.

"Can you ask me what, Ma'am?" ask Sumi

"Would a man who despite having love for his wife still be able to turn to another heart?" my many.

"Of course, Ma'am. What else if the wife does not want to give what the husband wants. Well, maybe the household did not last long. Surely the husband will find comfort outside the house" said Sumi.

I looked at Sumi's words. Hearing Sumi's words scared me.

"However, if we meant that the wives were not ready and needed time, would this also happen?" my many.

"Come, Ma'am. That man is not like us who is good at holding back. Maybe someone can survive in such a situation, but for now it seems very impossible. One in a thousand" Sumi said.

"What else if her husband is handsome, Ma'am. Well, if I was his wife had to be extra so as not to be tempted by other women" said Bela.

I thought about the words of Sumi and Bela. Their words were truly heart-felt. My heart became more and more upset. I'm afraid Gus Faiz would do something like that. But I have to trust my husband. However, considering that I was always avoiding her, and her silence just now made my heart grow even more upset.

I haven't answered, my phone is ringing.

My phone screen shows Mas Faiz. I quickly picked up the phone.