Holy Prison

PS 39 - Silence Remains Better

During the journey I prefer silence. For me, being quiet is better.

“Mbak Nindy, ndak papa? How silent?” ask Arum. He was deliberately waiting for me and Farha passed by as usual. I just shook my head.

We walked past Ndalem Abah. I deliberately walked to the far right (avoiding Ndalem Abah on the left) to minimize the possibility of meeting Gus Faiz, the face of the devil-hearted angel. I really don't want to see people who have lied and humiliated me.

Imagining him laughing at me being fooled by his angelic face, made my heart ache.

My eyes kept straight ahead. Arum, Farha, and I are regular members of the steward's food. Although Arum is also a caretaker but he still often makes mistakes, being late is part of the mistakes that are difficult to fix. And so the three of us walked in the back while being shouted at by the manager to make the road faster.

In my heart I want to ask Arum why even though managers like him still like to disobey the rules.

"Rum, we're the manager. Why don't you follow the rules, anyway?" ask Farha. This time I'm sure he speaks Indonesian so I can understand what he's talking about.

Farha's question is like mine.

"Biarin anyway, Ma'am. I'm human too. Hahahaha." said he. While laughing.

Farha laughs. I just shut up.

“Ann..” call someone. I looked up to find the owner of the voice.

The three of us stopped. Arum and Farha bowed. After learning that the one calling my name was Gus Faiz, I started to speed up my pace. I don't care about Gus Faiz, who's after me.

“An, listen to me!” said.

I speed up my path. But suddenly Gus Faiz was deliberately standing in front of me. Locking movement.

I really hate him. And what is he doing now anyway? Wouldn't he be surprised if Abah saw us together again even though Farha and Arum were still behind?

I was about to walk again but he kept blocking me in front of me. For a moment he was much different from the Gus Faiz I knew. He looks a little frustrated. He used to be very antipathetic to me. Now look at him doing the opposite.

His attitude this time really did not reflect a Gus. If one looked, he would look like a man begging a girl.

“Enough. Act like a Gus!” I said. I ran away leaving him. I heard him standing in the back. Perhaps he was beginning to realize his uncontrollable attitude this time. It really wasn't the usual Gus Faiz.

“Mbak, what's the matter?” ask Farha to me.

Didn't Farha know everything? Why is he still asking me? I thought of some possibilities. The first possibility of Farha lying and the second possibility of Farha only know the problem of Kak Ulfa who is here. Although I'm sure Farha is in the second category, I don't want to be so sure of her. The more we raise hope, the more it will hurt when falling.

“News aja, Ma'am, who knows we can give input.” said Arum chimed.

I just shook my head and smiled and turned my attention in the other direction. Suddenly Linda approached me.

“Mbak Nindy's. Called Umi.” he said in a ketus voice.

I wanted to shout at him, tell him to say hello and say words without a loud voice. But I was so lazy to respond. So, I'm just gonna shut up.

"Sir, can I go with you?" ask Farha.

"I'm sorry, Ma'am." this time Arum said.

I'm nodding.

I took my foot to Umi's house. There he welcomed me. I'm just acting normal, not dizzy. I feel no need to be so respectful because after all his affection is just a falsehood. Who can guarantee that he won't lie to me again?

Long story short, he started telling me everything about everything. I just listened, with no enthusiasm at all. It feels like being lied to makes me not understand how to trust someone.

“At that time Faiz came to Umi and Abah to ask us to hide you and tell your parents that you have gone from this boarding school. With a heavy heart because both your parents and your brother are crying about you, we agree to this because we hope that someday as time passes your heart will lead you back. But by accident your mother overheard our conversation and we started to keep this a secret to you. Your mama is so relieved to find you still in this boarding school. Their minds are messed up and your sister Ulfa asked permission to go here because she wants to be close to you.” Umi explained in a tweet. I'm still quiet.

Who can guarantee that this is honesty?

***

“Mbak, Good boy yes have a sister as good as Kak Ulfa. Ma'am, so lucky huh?” said Arum. This time I, Farha and Arum were on the floor of the clothesline.

I'm still quiet. Looks like Arum really doesn't understand anything. Farha who heard Arum's words gave Arum a code to stop talking about Ulfa. However, it seems that Arum still does not understand.

"Sir Farha, why his eyes?" ask Arum plain.

"Ndak papa, it's a glint. Hehe" said Farha. I know he lied this time.

Farha glanced at me, then rubbed her face in a huff.

The voice is now dominated by Arum's voice. Farha who was beside me was now a quiet figure. Ever since I got sick. Face glum. It was clearly printed on his face if he wanted to ask me but his courage was shriveled by what. Maybe I'm afraid I'm becoming like I used to be even more savage.

“Iya. I am so lucky.” I said. Farha's body stiffened as did Arum.

This is the first time I speak up. And I use the word I to change the word I, to confirm that I'm back as a Nindy.

I looked at Arum. "Gue's really lucky." I looked at him with a look full of annoyance.

“Mbak..” great-grandson of Arum. I went straight down to the ground floor and sat in the front garden of our Cottage Complex, Darul.

Arum and Farha are still following me.

“Mbak..” this time Farha spoke up. Arum.

From far away I saw Brother Ulfa approaching. The closer I saw it, the more my blood boiled. I really don't like my brother. Especially when I heard Arum say I have a perfect brother like Sister Ulfa.

If the definition of a perfect Brother is like Sister Ulfa, I would be more grateful if I didn't have a sister.

“See! The person you are proud to come.” I said as I pointed at Kak Ulfa who is now approaching. Farha and Arum are getting tense.

Arum tried to ask Farha for an explanation. But Farha remained silent. It seems that Farha can't explain to Arum what happened because she doesn't really know.