Holy Prison

PS 68 - Application

Hearing Gus Faiz calling my name, I stopped. In my heart I thought about why he stopped my steps. I want to turn around and go to him but can I do that?

I mean, I clearly understood what was happening to me, with a racing heartbeat, a rippling stomach, a pounding heart, and the feeling of always wanting to look at her face. If it continues to be beside her, I really cannot help myself.

When I was still struggling with my daydreams, Gus Faiz was already in front of me. It is not close because there is still distance between us. One meter if I'm not wrong. I bow my head afraid our eyes meet. I really miss those eyes. Brown eyes are so soothing.

"Aren't you apologizing to me?" tany Gus Faiz's.

I'm nodding. "Are I sorry it's not enough?" my many.

"You don't ask to be forgiven?" tanyakanya.

What the hell is it? I really don't understand the direction of the conversation. It looks like he wants to ask me to apologize more. But I have to make sure I have the right analysis.

"Aren't I apologizing?" my many.

"But you left before I answered" he replied.

What Gus Faiz said was quite reasonable. I did apologize to him earlier. However, I just left without hearing if he could forgive all my mistakes to him or not.

"I-I'm sorry." I said. Curse my stupidity.

"Do you want me to forgive?" ask Gus Faiz.

I'm nodding.

"Success my request. I will forgive you" said Gus Faiz.

"Pamrih." I said

He chuckles at my words. His laugh was so crisp. Where did this Ice Beam learn how to laugh this crazily? Ah, it's been 4 years, I should understand he's been meeting more and more people. Environmental influences may also be what makes it this way. However, this is very good. L like it. I mean, ah, that's it.

"So I'm not forgiven?" my many.

There's no answer. I glanced at. She smiles. I hurriedly looked down again. I was really scared that I would look at him. My heart is saying that I am beginning to blind lust. I was afraid to see something that made Him angry.

"May I ask you something?" tanyakanya.

I'm nodding.

"If one day a man comes to express his feelings for you, will you answer him?" ask Gus Faiz.

"I don't think I have any obligation to answer that question." I said.

Gus Faiz smiled again.

"You think, if I want to propose to a girl, should I express my feelings and ask her to answer my feelings before proposing to her?" ask Gus Faiz.

I was disappointed. It turns out that the rumors that were circulating were true. When viewed from the question, it seems Gus Faiz is already intending to propose a girl. I didn't dare expect that he would propose to me. Because it's been 4 years, and I'm sure with the perfection he has he's met a lot of salihah women out there.

Especially looking at what has happened in my past. It felt like just thinking about Gus Faiz smiling at me that I felt unworthy. My past is so dark. Even though he was kind to me I knew it was all because of getting the trust of Inspiration.

For his love statement first. It seems like it was indeed pure to prevent me from leaving. I realized this after he left. Even though our phones were switched, he never contacted me at all. Though his phone must have used his number, shouldn't the owner of the number have memorized his own number?

I also memorized my cell phone number. It's just that after the departure of Gus Faiz I didn't have the courage to contact him. Plus, while I was waiting for my feet to heal, I read one of my favorite novels, Tere Liye. I was reading a novel called 'Rain'. From then on I began to admire the figure of Tomorrow and I began to want to follow the personal example of Lail.

"In my opinion, you just ask her willingness to apply. If he agrees, tell him you want to come to his parents to propose." I said.

"Is that romantic?" ask Gus Faiz.

"In my opinion, there is nothing more romantic than romantic occasions after halal." I said.

"May I ask you something?" my many.

"Ask as much as you want" he said.

"You want to propose?" my many.

He chuckled, nodded, then smiled. Why is she so smiling today? Is this the result of his desire to get married? He was no longer that cold Gus Faiz. I was happy to find Gus Faiz who started to melt, but considering the reason he was like this was because of another girl, I was sad again.

"Do I know?" my many.

"of course. You know him well" he said again.

I began to guess who the girl Gus Faiz was going to meet. He told me that I know very well the prospective santriwati Abah who wants to be in his house. Could it be Linda? Arum's? Farha's? Or who?

"You didn't ask what his name was?" ask Gus Faiz.

I smiled to hide my sadness. I'm shaking. I don't think I need to know. Because there must be someone around me. Without asking Gus Faiz, I think I'll know who the girl is.

I'm shaking.

"You know?" tanyakanya.

I'm nodding.

"Really?" tanyakanya.

I'm nodding.

"Are you happy?"

I'm nodding. Smiling so she can see the happy look on my face.

"You received it?" ask Gus Faiz.

I nodded enthusiastically. He seemed to be smiling at me. Be that as it may. I can't seem to dislike his proposal this time.

"Alright, I will come to your house in a week" said Gus Faiz.

I'm turning. Can't help my curiosity. This time I really looked into Gus Faiz's eyes. The eyes of someone I secretly miss. I'm looking for seriousness there. And I saw there was not the slightest doubt. His desire is really strong.

Not Linda, Arum, or Farha. Except Ulfa's sister. I'm sighing. I should have been conscious from the beginning. Ulfa and Gus Faiz really love each other.

Maybe when Ulfa said she had someone she liked and in Aaron's letter stated the implied meaning that the man was her cousin was not true. Maybe just to make me happy. Or even if there are no lies in it, that love may be just a monkey love that can run aground at any time.

"Why? You mind?" ask Gus Faiz.

I'm shaking. "The sooner the better, Gus." I said, steady.

Shortly thereafter Brother Ulfa came from far away. His face was so serious as to look at me.

"Your salam 'alaikum." Greetings.

"Waalaikumussalam wa rahatulli wa barakatuh." I and Gus Faiz replied.

"Gus Faiz." Brother Ulfa smilingly greeted Gus Faiz.

Gus Faiz nodded and smiled back.

This view is so sweet. My chest now feels tight. I can't cry or look sad. I also smiled cheerfully towards Sister Ulfa.