Holy Prison

PS 25 - Post-punishment

Since the embarrassing incident I decided to continue to confine myself in the room when there was no class or congregational prayer. My main reason was that I was afraid to meet Gus Faiz because I felt so ashamed of him. In addition to my shame, I felt guilty. Anyway, I wasn't ready to meet him.

It feels like for now, instead of meeting him, I would rather meet Dedemit. Not because Gus Faiz looks like a man, but yes, as I explained earlier, I am ashamed and feel guilty.

Since that incident, I also felt a lot happening and changing in this boarding school. Now I who seems to have been from the beginning of arrival always become a lip, now added to the lips. This time I have a friend, Gus Faiz. So, anyone who talks about me will definitely talk about Gus Faiz, just the opposite. I believe for Gus Faiz this is the first time that many people gossiped.

I might be able to ignore what I hear even if it's very painful words. However, I am not sure about Gus Faiz. Thinking about this, I felt even more guilty.

Besides being a lip. Now if I notice that many people are beginning to hate me, even though no one is speaking directly, but from their gaze and gestures I can tell. I don't care about it, I don't want to get dizzy anyway.

I really don't care about all those cynical gazes. After all since I came here my goal was not to find friends. So, even if there's no one beside me, I don't care. Maybe because I'm too used to this kind of thing. But yes, even though it's commonplace it still sucks.

The real problem was not that I was being gossiped about, but the more they denounced me the name Gus Faiz was always affected as well. This made my guilt deep.

Although everyone avoided me, there was one friend who was always beside me until now, namely Farha. He was still faithfully by my side, comforting, and not infrequently giving me free lectures even though I never really listened to him. He's even very patient. It's so different with Mama. Again, I remember my mom. Forget it, let's just say I never said it.

"Sir, this is already in time zuhur, Mbak ndak want to go to ndalem to pray with Umi?" ask Farha. I turned my face to her.

This time we were on the 4th floor. The clothesline that dates since when has transformed into my favorite place to contemplate everything. A very cool place to refresh my shrinking mind. I love feeling the wind here. Although before I was often annoyed at the wind that was often not polite to drop clothes that I had been hard-washed until dirty and had to be washed again, but lately he was like paying my frustration with his coolness and peace. In addition to the wind, these clothes had started to be friendly with me, although the clothes were also hanging underwear that made the eyes hurt.

"O, yes," I said in response to Farha. With a long breath. Meeting Umi means having to go to Ndalem Abah which automatically has many opportunities to meet Gus Faiz.

"Yaudah, I was Ndalem Abah first." I said.

Farha was silent in her place. Stunned for what. Then he smiled and nodded.

Gus Faiz has sacrificed a lot for me. So, I decided from today I will fulfill my promise to Gus Faiz, to be a good boy. And that step I started by replacing me-lo with me-you. I hope this is a good start.

"As-salamu'alaikum." My greetings upon arrival in front of Ndalem Abah. I was at the door waiting for Umi to open the door.

"Wa 'alaikumus-salam wa rahatulli wa baramatuh." Umi answered my greetings.

As usual, we prayed together.

After the prayer, Umi taught me to teach. This time I was lucky again because I did not meet Gus Faiz. If that happened I would be confused as to what to do. I'm not ready to meet him.

"Umi, can Nindy ask for one request?" I asked Umi. I was hesitant at first but if I didn't do this for sure I would have continued to meet with Gus Faiz. If I continue here, that damn thing will definitely behave more brashly.

Umi looked at me with those shady eyes. The eye that always persuades this heart to dissolve into it. Makes me always look at Mama's face, and compare it. My chest was instantly tight, I had to stop talking about Mama.

"Nindy wants to be normal like the other students of Umi. Nindy means, following activities like other students. Salad with them, salute with them, and throw thoughts that Umi chose love, what else happened to shame Nindy yesterday." I said.

Last night I apologized to Umi and explained the chronology of the hug. I explained that I was wrong, not Gus Faiz. I was the one who was presumptuous to embrace Gus Faiz, Gus Faiz was just a victim. Although Umi was very disappointed but he could forgive my mistakes and advise me not to do anything like that anymore because we are not mahram.

"Umi will grant Nindy's request on one condition, how?" Umi said.

I hurriedly nodded. "What is Umi?" I'm polite.

"Umi's embrace now" said Umi. He smiles. I smiled back. I looked at the ceiling afraid my tears were falling. Then chuckle at Umi. Then I didn't know I wanted to hug him fast. And the warm embrace of Umi really made my tears pour down. I miss Mama. But my evil side told me why I miss Mama who obviously wasn't expecting her child.

After Umi agreed to my request. I also left Umi's house after saying goodbye politely. I wiped my tears. It seemed as though my thin powder had faded from crying, realizing that my face was striped I was patting carefully. After feeling beautiful again I went to the door but have not reached the door Gus Faiz from the opposite direction came.

"****** me!" rutukku. Why are my words rude again? That's for sure I should get out of here.