Holy Prison

PS 8 - Fainting Carrier Please

After leaving Farha, I was only able to pacing indeterminate directions with my mind filled with questions on how to contact Revan. My stomach feels hungry. I feel like I want to eat anything, even it feels like eating people is okay.

I started to think about what to eat at times like this. I looked around, looking right and left hoping to catch the food vendor. But the result is nil. There are no salesmen or canteens here. So troublesome.

Because I don't know where to go, I don't want to wait for Farha. Let me be a man without a face for saying hungry, saying not to be followed and asking to be brought in for food. Let it.

“Anterin I eat yuk, I laper!” I said, pulling his hand. This time I completely destroyed my reputation for asking others for help. But how else, the worms in my stomach have been demoed since.

“Mbak, grab a plate first, yuk!” farha. I comply. Honestly I have mag (stomach) disease and now my stomach is starting to hurt. The damn disease relapsed again, at the wrong time.

After arriving at the food intake, I took a deep breath, feeling anxious to cry. Santri queue to take a meal is very long. It sucks!

“Yes Allah, Mbak's face was pale.” asked Farha, his face was worried. I just shook my head. I am not a weak man.

“Nyelak aja yok, nyelak!” I said. My hand was still holding my stomach which started as if it had been pierced by a needle.

“What's that, Ma'am?” ask Farha.

I rolled my eyes, I was frustrated. It turned out that even though Farha could speak Indonesian, still could not guarantee that she knew all the vocabulary that I had uttered. I was frustrated, my brain could not think even just to explain the word interjection. It feels like just dying.

“Ah, potato! There are no stalls around here?” my many. In my heart I kept praying for Farha to answer ‘ada’.

Farha nodded. I immediately pulled his hand. This time he did not protest, instead he continued to look at me with a worried look. I rolled my eyes. I don't think I'm that sad.

Suddenly he stopped. I looked at him to protest.

“Mbak is here, let me buy it, Ma'am.” Farha said.

“No need, is the warehouse still far away?” my many. I can't wait.

“Near Ndalem Abah, Mbak.” says Farha.

I nodded, nothing. I signaled that I would stay there, even if I could not guarantee that I would get there. Seeing my persistence, Farha intended to help me by reaching out to me. But I refused firmly, not willing. I am still dominated by ego. I don't want to be weak. After all, my stomach ache was nothing compared to my heartache when I found out I was thrown into this sacred prison.

“Yes Allah, Ma'am. Ma'am, how pale!” farha said, she started to panic.

My stomach is getting worse and worse, and sweat is starting to wet every inch of my body, my head hurts, it's very disturbing. I kept shaking my head at Farha who stopped in the middle of the road, also right in front of Ndalem Abah. In my heart I want to quickly drag Farha to the stall so as not to enter Umi's house and meet her again. It would be like destroying my suicide plan.

I looked at Farha. His voice was very worried about me, it certainly made me compare him to my family. Although I haven't known her for a long time, this girl seems to be worried about me. Instantly something stuck in there.

I couldn't bear this pain until my eyes began to wobble. When my vision started to blur, whether it was true or not, I saw someone running towards me, wearing a black sarong, and then I couldn't feel anything anymore. I hope the owner of the scabbard is my angel of death.

***

I opened my eyes, and I heard the beautiful voice of someone who was teaching. So soothing to the heart. For a few minutes I just kept quiet, watching whose ceiling belonged while listening to the golden voice that was still chanting the holy verse of the Qur’an.

Why does this soul feel so peaceful, Lord?

Shortly after, the voice stopped. I looked to the right and found him. The one I threw the shoes on yesterday, the one that made Farha step aside this morning as she passed by, the one I didn't know her origin. Now, he moved from his place and moved closer to me, not really getting close actually, he just stepped one step from his place, making the distance between us that was still a few meters. Far-away. He looks confused. The bedroom door was right behind him, wide open. Strangely enough, the room was left open.

“Ngapain lo there?” ketus. After my consciousness has recovered.

He didn't answer. It was so bad to see him so indifferent. Then, without paying attention or looking me in the eye, he walked towards the table, and picked up a plate of rice, side dishes, and drank in one tray. Even though he was holding a tray of food, he was still 2 meters away from me. It pisses me off half to death.

“What the hell is in your head? My face is like a man with scabies?” my many.

Unexpectedly, he smiled even though he was restrained. Instantly I was hypnotized with that stifled smile of his. He approached me. Then put that tray on me. I picked it up as usual and without a single thank you.

“Before your friend Mbak comes, I'm sorry.” He said, without looking me in the eye as if reluctant to see my face, then he turned around to leave.

I held his hand. He was stunned, I could feel the tension in his hand, then not until seconds did he immediately release my hand forcibly and rub it right in the part I was holding, “Astagfirullah al-‘azim.” said. I got on a blackboard.

“Heh! I'm not scabies! I am not a demon either! Why are you so fit I hold?!” I shouted, I don't care how he looked at me. Here I am with all my flaws, a fool with his judgment.

“In our religion between men and women who are not mahrams should not be alone let alone touch.” he said. Honestly I don't understand, why he and Farha both said the phrase ‘not mahram’. What exactly does that phrase mean?

If I think about it, this mahram means making friends. So, maybe if not mahram means he's not my friend yet. But time is it if not friends can not be alone with each other? Or a girlfriend? Ah stupid time. Whatever it looks like if we're mahram he'll help me.

“Yaudah, my mahram-in now!” I said, without thinking long. He glared, shocked. I don't know what expression he's showing.

This time he looked very surprised. But I didn't have much time, so I had to cut his surprise by saying, “Please, my mahram-in right now so we can be alone and can talk to you. I beg you, I would like to ask you for help lo.”