Holy Prison

PS 19 - A New Beginning

I think I want to scream. There is such a terrible feeling in this heart. A feeling I don't know, I don't want, and I don't want to see. Although I don't really understand where this happiness comes from, I do know that the man took part.

I walked towards 'my room' with steady steps and occasionally I glanced at the back of Gus Faiz who had already been very far swallowed in the black of night. I smiled cynically considering the strange incident that had just happened between me and Abah Kyai's son that I had considered an enemy from the beginning of the incident sandal.

I still don't understand why he would do that ridiculous thing I did. The agreement based on the desire to let go is now binding. My brain is still wondering why he would want to qualify. I never had a problem with who I was hugging. But what about him, is this his first time? Committing a sin to save the life of someone who is above the abyss of nothingness?

I can't explain. It wasn't my intention to ensnare him into being naughty. All I did was take her away from me, but who would have thought she would have done the opposite. If only Farha and her friends knew for sure they were jealous, calling me, serving me, and introgasi me without a word of tiredness. Bizarrely.

I was about to open the door of the room but I recounted when I heard Farha's voice memorizing what, I didn't really understand but she seemed to be memorizing a small book that she often carried everywhere. What's name? I don't know. I tried to open the door, but it was locked from the inside.

"Far, uh As-salamu 'alaikum" I said. A promise is a promise, I will fulfill even if this is the hardest promise I have ever fulfilled.

Farha's voice there stopped "Waalaikumsalam wa rahatulli wa barakatuh." then the door to the room opened. Our eyes met, this time I saw Farha's eyes were swollen and red as if they were crying.

"Mr? My God, where have you been? We were all frantically looking for Ma'am. The family also cried worrying about Ma'am" Farha said. She wiped her tears and hugged me tightly and let go.

"Gu-emm was stray, yes I have met" I said origin. No lie a little. Turn to good there is also a process, not instant. I thought of Farha's words. It's not right my family is panicking and worrying. Maybe this is just a strategy, a strategy to take the sympathy of Abah Kyai and his family.

Crying about losing a child is a secret, anyone can do it. To be a normal human being it must be done so as not to arouse suspicion. I understand very well about that. Maybe they are looking for sympathy. For what. It seems to be for the future match of Sister Ulfa and Gus Faiz. I shouldn't have been involved with Gus Faiz. All right, starting tomorrow he'll be blacklisted.

"Alhamdulillah, yes Ma'am, I can't bear to see it" he said. "Come, Ma'am, come in! It's cold outside" said Farha, pulling me in.

And here I am, in a room consisting of 25 santri who are sleeping 2 rows parallel like anchovies that are being dried with the head of the first and second row santri meet each other. I observed almost all of the santri's hair while standing up, then sighed. Many flea children. Fuck that, I'm sure as long as I shampoo every day, I won't catch it. I hope that.

"Sleep first." I said, then lay down on the 'stumped' bed near my entrance. I saw Farha finish her rote and lie down beside me. I don't really care about it. All I need is sleep. I also sleep in dirty clothes.

***

GET-TOK-TOK!

I move and open the door. Apparently Arum. She was the santri I had dragged to the bathroom because of the incident she flushed me. He was so surprised to see me. This was the first time I woke up this morning, perhaps this was the root of his shock.

"God, Miss Nindy, are you awake?" Arum asked, his smile so wide. Honestly I was confused, it seems like just yesterday I treated him badly but in those eyes there seems to be no grudge at all. Really weird.

I was about to leave but my sane brain told me I had to keep my promise to that damn Gus Faiz. So, I replied to Arum, even if only through a smile. I don't want to speak now for fear that the words coming out of my mouth are ruining my plans to change. And honestly I still can't use your me-your language and other polite language.

"Yaudah, Ma'am, please wake up the others yes, I want to go around first wake up another room child. Heheh. As-salamu 'alaikum" said Arum with a smile that seemed not to fade from his sweet lips.

"Waalaikumsalam wa, wa rahatulli wa barakatuh." I answered completely as Farha used to do when someone said hello to her.

I shrugged my shoulders and walked towards Farha. Shaking his body slowly "Wake up, Far!" I said, patting his arm.

Farha squirms and begins to open her eyes, when her eyes see me she immediately pokes her eyes as if making sure the person in front of her is Anindya Athaya Zahran.

"Mister Nindy?" asked Farha in disbelief. I just raised my eyebrows, then Farha glanced at the clock on the wall.

Farha smiled. Then pull me "Come on, Ma'am, wake up the other one!" said Farha with a smile that was happier than Arum earlier. Farha woke up Nafis who was beside her. I watched the way he woke up the children and practiced it.

"Let's take a shower, Ma'am" said Farha. His words are so deafening. I want to say it's still 3am, no one takes a shower at this hour, even crazy people don't want to. Just as I was about to say those words, the damn promise came back. I swallowed spit. “Come, Ma'am, afraid crowded.” he said directly flanking my arm. Get ready for the wind.

After taking the toiletries we both went down. This is one of the things I hate most in this boarding school. This Darul cottage has 4 floors plus 1 more upper floor which is used as a clothesline. And what's even more excruciating is that I'm in a room on the 4th floor at the far end of the stairs. There are no elevators or escalators. There's only stairs.