Devotion of Love

First Day

"This morning I'm going to school. I started teaching there. Didn't I ask you for permission yesterday."

"Dear, don't be like this. I feel like you're starting to get away from me, can't we go back to how we used to be!"

"I never change. I'm still your rightful wife."

"Darling, the way you talk to me is different. There is no warmth and affection in your every word. I'm sorry if I'm wrong. Don't ignore me, your cold attitude is capable of destroying me!"

"We've stopped this conversation. It's too early to discuss any serious issues!"

"Darling, until I don't leave you? You are the only one in my heart!"

"But Annisa is much better than me. She is the woman who will be the mother of your children. Marry her, if that makes both your parents happy!"

"Enough, we're stopping this conversation. Your words are getting louder!."

"Sooner or later everything will change. You are my priest, who deserves me. But don't forget, I deserve to be happy too."

"What do you mean? , say it clearly. Don't play riddles!"

"Take off one of me and Annisa. There will never be two loves in one heart. If I'm not the one to leave, ask Annisa to stay away from you. But if Annisa stays, let me go!"

"Tika, stop saying that!. You've thought too far, there'll never be anything I have to let go of!. I'll just hold your hand, not someone else's!"

The sound of the door being knocked. Bik Asih ran open the door. After opening the door, Bik Asih approached us. It turned out that both of the old men were coming.

I saw the look on Agam's face. I had guessed, what made the two old men mas Agam come? Mas Agam finished his breakfast. Even mas Agam had not had time to eat breakfast.

"Darling, I met my father and mother in front. Finish your breakfast first, if you'd like to come with me to meet them."

"I'm done!. I'm going to meet them, but I'm taking a book to teach in the room." I said. I walked towards the room, without waiting for an answer from Mas Agam.

Mas Agam walked slowly towards the living room. I saw both of his parents. Their faces look very serious.

"Girl, sit! We want to talk about something!." said Dad seriously.

" What's the matter dad? , if you want to discuss the issue of momongan in our marriage. I don't think it's necessary, I don't want my household destroyed. Only Tika is dear to me, there will be no other!"

"You're selfish Agam. You don't think about us. You're the heir to this family. If you don't have children, who do we depend on? We want to have a grandchild before death!"

" You will have a grandson. Mas Agam will do anything, so that all of it is realized. He's your son, I won't take him!"

"Darling, what do you mean?. There is a baby in marriage, not us who determine. I don't expect you to think too far!"

"Thank God if you realize and accept our request sincerely. Mother does not expect more, only mother wants you to check yourself. So that we may know, among you who is less healthy?"

"Mother, just don't go on!. I told you we were both healthy. Don't think that any of us are unhealthy!"

"Why did you reject Tika? , all for the good of your marriage. So we'll find out, which one of you is weak?" dad said, I smiled. I looked down, as if feeling guilty to me!.

"Dad, there's no need for an examination. I've said it clearly. Let's just say I'm weak, don't hurt my husband's self-esteem. Honour is everything to me!"

"Why are you stubborn. Don't tell me you checked yourself. What result are you barren?" said mother lantang. Mas Agam looked up. His face was red, he was angry to hear my mother say I was barren.

Deg Deg Deg

My heart was beating violently, a word I was so afraid of. A word that can destroy a foundation of marriage. Every woman is always the wrong side. When a wedding does not have a baby.

"Mother!" mas Agam. I held the hand of the goldfish, the hand that I had long since let go.

"Mother, this is my gynaecology. There's no problem in my womb. I'm fine, maybe ALLAH SWT has not agreed to give me trust!"

"Darling, when did you do the checkup? Why didn't I know that? I should've taken you, don't tell me you're going with someone else!" mas Agam lirih. I just kept quiet without even thinking about answering her question.

"If you're healthy, why don't you want to get checked out? Is it not fair if we know the condition of Agam. If Agam is weak, you can find another solution!"

"Honor my husband everything. I don't want Agam to get hurt knowing he's weak. Indeed, this examination is free, even though we are healthy in our inner birth. We both remain weak, because it all depends on his terms."

"Darling, why did you defend me by receiving insults from them. This is not fair to you!"

"Nothing is fair to a wife. When marriage is a problem. Everyone will be busy blaming a wife, without thinking a husband can also be wrong!"

"Tika, your words seem to be insinuating us. That we've made a mistake. Do you feel right now? , with your healthy examination results. Every parent will always expect to have grandchildren from their son's marriage. Is it wrong for you to wish to carry a grandchild, before death to pick us up!" mother lirih.

"Mother, no one blames your request. Everyone deserves to feel happiness. If only in the past, during the marriage of mother and father. Dad's parents are acting just like you to me. I don't think you'll be able to say something like this. We are both women who want to be perfect. I'm sure you can also feel, hurt and insulted me at this time." I said softly. Mother looked embarrassed. He had once felt, what am I feeling right now? Anxiety awaits the arrival of mas Agam. Anxiety is great, fearing if she is unable to become a perfect wife.

"Dear, I'm sorry!" mas Agam said, I shook my head weakly. I saw the clock on my wrist. I gotta get going. The first day of teaching, I couldn't be late.

"Sorry everyone, Tika has to leave immediately." I said, I kissed the backs of their hands in turn. Soon I go to school.

"Darling, you forgot the car keys!" maa Agam said, I turned my head while shaking.

"Thank you, I'm walking to school" I said briefly.

I'm getting away from my house. I set my feet steady, treading the path of life that unfolds. I'm optimistic about going through it all. Every problem makes us more mature.

I saw the path I walked. Today is the first time in my life. I feel different. I want to be personally useful to others. Maybe being a teacher isn't my goal. But I believe in being a teacher, the way ALLAH SWT loves me. I will meet my disciples, who will become a substitute for the fruit of the heart that I do not yet have. A child does not have to be born from my womb, but loving a child can make me a mother. The sincerity she once gave me. I will give it to my students.

...☆☆☆☆☆...

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