Taint

Dry Before Blooming

I opened my eyes and looked at the white ceiling. Slowly my nose smelled a very strong disinfectant scent. Am I in the hospital? In a sense of dizziness, I try to remember what happened. Then, I gasped when I saw Dara's pale and muddy shadow. May it be just a dream, I thought in concern.

"Darling! Thank goodness you're awake, honey."

I turned my head and found Brother Darren standing at the side while gently rubbing my forehead. His eyes were red, as if he had just cried. Then I remembered Dara. Could this have something to do?

"Sir .. aww." I complained because the pain suddenly whack my cheek.

"Dear, sick, huh? Slow down, don't be too forced" said Kak Darren.

He stretched out his fingers and cupped my cheeks. Warm, but also leaves a sense of pain. Then, my memory of the previous events became clearer. Mayra and Amanda conspired, then hurt me and killed Dara. I flinched for a moment, then got up with great difficulty. Brother Darren was calming, but my feelings were already uncharitable.

"Where is Dara? Tell me where is Dara, sister?" I screamed while gripping Darren's arm.

He did not immediately answer, just lowered his head with a long sigh. I kept pushing, until he finally looked up and looked at me fixedly.

"Darling, patient ones. Dara ... is already at peace in His heaven," said Kak Darren tremblingly.

I stiffened for a moment and tears were shed without being asked. It wasn't a dream. The little girl I always loved, is gone.

"No! This is impossible, brother! Tell me this is a lie, brother!" I screamed with a little breath.

"It's not a lie, honey." Brother Darren hugged me tightly. "Now .. he is buried. It's late afternoon and you're not conscious. So ... he was forced to be buried without you present" he continued.

I can't speak, this fact is too bitter for me to accept. With a trembling body, I stared at every inch of the room and did not find Fatimah or Mom.

"Has Mother and Mother come to the tomb?" my whiskey.

"Yes." Yeah." Brother Darren nodded.

"Come catch them, brother! Hurry, Brother!" I said while tugging at Kak Darren's sleeves.

"Darling, your condition is not stable. You have just regained consciousness and .. maybe they are also almost home" said Kak Darren.

Brother Darren let out a rough breath, "alright. Wait here, I'll call the doctor."

I nodded and let Brother Darren go. Then, I lowered my head and shed a cry on my lap.

"O Allah, give strength to the servant in passing through all this. The test is very severe, O Allah," I whispered, complaining to the Supreme Being because only He understands best how this feels.

Sabrina Dara Azzahra, a little girl who has not known sin. Now he has returned to his lap. Like a flower, it dries before it blooms. As a woman who is trusted to lend her a womb, may I be strong against all of this.

_________________

The sun was rolling westward, but it did not dampen my intention to catch up with Mother and Miss Fatimah, who had not returned from the tomb.

Pain in the cheek, as well as pain in the left arm that had just been infused, not a little I ignored. My thoughts were only on Dara, who I hoped had not been laid underground. My gaze was straight ahead, staring at the street that felt longer than a shadow.

"Sister, come!" I said to Darren. I don't know how many times I told him to increase the speed.

"Honey, this is almost past the maximum limit" replied Kak Darren.

I took a rough breath, even though Kak Darren's words were correct, but to me the pace of this car was still very slow.

Then, I leaned back and threw my eyes to the side, twitching quickly to ward off the tears that again wanted to seep.

After a long drive, the car we were riding in arrived in front of the TPU gate. Many cars lined up there, one of which belonged to Bu Fatimah and Mama Renata.

I rushed out and entered the TPU with quick steps. Darren came and walked beside me.

The distinctive aroma of cambodia rippled in the nose, in tandem with the wind caressing and waving the veil I wore. On the sidelines of the tombstone, Darren and I continued walking, until I finally stared at something that made my body weak helpless.

"Darling! Honey!" call Brother Darren when I fall next to him.

Seriate....