Taint

Messed

"Why, hmm?"

I gasp. Brother Darren asked as he grabbed my chin. The tail of his eyes stared intently and occasionally glanced at Daniel.

"It's okay, i___"

"I love you, baby. Don't make me hate him" Darren said in a whisper.

"Don't think no. I'm yours, brother," I replied in a whisper. Not to forget I reviewed a big smile, in order to calm his heart that might be jealous.

"I'm sorry if I overdo it." Brother Darren returned my smile. "Yes, let's ask for the blessing of Mama-Papa, Mother, and Mother as well" he continued.

I nodded and began to inching closer to Mom and Mama Renata. Even though in one corner Daniel was staring at me, I tried to ignore him. I don't want to offend Darren for the second time.

Brother Darren immediately greeted Mama Renata and hugged her tightly, while I stopped in front of Mom and prostrated myself on her lap. The shadow of the mistake I made in the past, invites tears and leaves me with no power to lift my head.

"Son, no, don't cry. It's your happy day, don't stain with tears. Come on up, I want to see your smile" whispered Mother by my ear.

But I don't look up. Within a few seconds I was in my original position.

Mother did not force, she grabbed my head and rubbed it gently.

Two minutes later, I started to raise my head. Then I dropped my body in Mother's embrace.

"Smile, don't cry. It's a wedding day, don't be filled with sadness" she said.

"I'm sorry, Mom."

Although I have many things to say, but only three words I can say. The tightness in my chest made me have trouble making a sound.

"What makes you sorry, son? There's nothing wrong with you, it's Mother who makes things difficult for you. I'm sorry, Kirana." Mom rubbed my back. "Now you are married, devote yourself to your husband. Ridhonya will lead you to heaven. Kirana, don't bring up the past mistakes. Be aware, Allah has elevated your status by sending priests as good as Darren. I blessed your marriage. I pray that your household sakinah mawaddah warahmah. May this be a wonderful start to your life, son."

"Amin, thank you very much, ma'am. Forgive me for not being able to repay Mom's kindness, yet" I said without letting go of a hug.

"Don't talk carelessly. You are the best, son."

Shortly after, Mom released a hug and wiped away the teardrops that were still wetting my cheeks. Then he smiled and told me to ask for my blessing to Mama Renata, it happened that Kak Darren had finished doing it.

To Mama Renata, I also did the same thing, namely greeting while prostrating. But my tears are not as hard as before.

"Mama, thank you for letting me marry Darren. Guide me to be a good wife and daughter-in-law. Our wedding blessing, yes, Ma."

"Mama also thanked me, son. Mama is happy you're willing to marry Darren. You are a special woman, of course you are a good wife and daughter-in-law. Mom really blessed your marriage. Mama pray that your household is smooth and always in His protection. I hope this is the first step towards the future."

After giving the best prayer, Mama Renata led me to rise. Then I hugged and rubbed my back.

"If Darren pisses you off, just talk to Mama. Mama will scold him later," said Mama Renata, who then made me smile knot.

"There's no way Brother Darren would do that, Ma. He is very kind" I replied.

After a long time of hugging, I switched to approaching Papa Fadhil. I wanted and asked for his blessing. Then, I approached Fatimah. Saying thank you, and asking for her blessing. Not to forget also I greet Mas Denis, Mas Bayu, Miss Diana, and Mbak Laras, as well as other relatives who were present to witness my kabul ijab.

"Kirana, Darren," he called. "I'm going home. Sorry for not attending the show until the end, there's business I can't leave."

"Pu ... home?" my many.

"Yes." Yeah." Daniel nodded.

"But___" sahutku.

"Thank you for letting me attend your wedding, congratulations, Ra, hope you're happy." Daniel looked at me with a smile.

"Thank you." I answered slowly. "May you be happy, Niel," I said in my heart.

"Ren, congratulations. I pinned Dara and___" Daniel hung up the sentence. He approached Darren and whispered in his ear.

Darren did not reply, only nodding slowly with a flat face. I don't know what Daniel whispered.

Between the noise of the conversation, I saw Daniel's step further away. In my heart I pray for her happiness. I hope that the past we have gone through is not an obstacle to his future.

Not wanting to ruin the mood, I didn't question what Daniel whispered. I took Kak Darren's hand and invited him to join another family. We enjoyed the dinner that was provided.

After eating together, I went back to my room. Save several gifts, at the same time change clothes. Soon enter dzuhur time, I want to prepare early.

The smell of roses and jasmine burst into my nose as I opened the door. Without being asked, my cheeks blushed and my heart rate became more and more unreasonable. What's wrong with me?

My mind kept glaring as footsteps brought me near the bed. Then I put the gift box there, and then I looked at the white bed sheet with rose petals.

"I'm so nervous" I whispered.

"I'm with you, let's not be nervous."

Warm arms suddenly coiled around my waist, as well as a gust of breath that gushed through the veil covering my neck. Without even turning my head I knew who he was, Darren Alfando—my husband.

"Relse ... Brother Darren," call me nervously.

I don't know when he came. I didn't hear the door open, let alone the footsteps. But suddenly he was behind me and hugged me tightly.

"Darling, aren't you so sultry in these clothes?"

I haven't had a chance to open my voice, Brother Darren gave me a small bite on my shoulder. Although covered with kebaya sleeves and veil cloth, but I can feel the warm lips.

"Sir, I .. i___"

"I miss you, dear," concluded Brother Darren, without stopping his actions.

Although in the past I have done more than this, but now it feels much different. Nervous, ashamed, haru, and somehow, it's hard to define my current feelings. His touch and whispers made my heart break.

"A hug only I'm so fucked up. What if he asks for more?" my mind with closed eyes.

Seriate...