Taint

Marriage Offers

The hour hand was showing at 02:00 p.m., but I was still resting on the prayer mat, in the room. After performing the dzuhur prayer, I continued to flinch in my place. I complained and complained to God for endless feelings. Sometimes I shed tears, in order to reduce the tightness that had been squeezing the breathing cavity.

Daniel and I still have the same feeling, but our destiny is only to meet and not unite. All we can do is pray for each other in different ways. He's on his convictions, and I'm on my convictions.

It's painful, but it's the truth.

While I was still in a deep moment of grief, suddenly the door of the room was knocked from the outside.

I guessed the corner of my watery eyes, then I moved and opened the door of the room that I accidentally locked.

I thought she was the Aunt who delivered Dara, because the boy had been in her care long enough. Maybe she's crying. However, it turns out that it was not Aunt, but Fatimah. He smiled when I opened the door.

"Mother," call me.

"You___" Fatimah looked at me from the tip of her foot to the tip of her head.

Maybe he was surprised to see the face that wrapped my body. Because the dzuhur time has passed, and the original time has not arrived.

"I still feel at home complaining, Mother," I said with my head bowed.

"Is there a problem with Daniel?" ask Ms. Fatimah.

"It's not a problem, Mother." I'm shaking. "But .. I don't know, it hurts a little bit" I said.

Then I stepped into the room and sat on the edge of the bed. Fatimah followed my steps and sat down next to me.

"Daniel sticks to his beliefs, huh?" guess Miss Fatimah.

"Yes, Mother." I nodded slowly.

Ms. Fatimah let out a long sigh, then embraced my body and rubbed my arm.

"That is to say, God did not create him for you, Kirana. God only meets you, but does not unite your love. Trust me, God's destiny is always beautiful. Now, God put you in pain and disappointed. Rest assured, if one day, God will lift you up and put you to true happiness. Do not be afraid of losing Daniel, God must have prepared the best soul mate for you" said Fatimah at length.

"Yes, Mother, I believe and believe in the greatness of God. But ... here it hurts a little, Mother." I held my chest with my palm.

"Mother understands, because Mother also had felt the pain of love that was not conveyed. But, you are a strong girl, Mother is sure you can. Smile, Kirana, greet your future with a strong soul. Mother will always be there for you" said Ms. Fatimah.

"Thank you, Mother. After this, I won't cry anymore." I put my head on Fatimah's arm. I drop the remains of tears that are still standing in the corner.

Ms. Fatimah no longer spoke, but her hand rubbed my arm gently. In his embrace, my slight tightness slowly began to fade.

"Yes, Mother" I replied, without raising my head.

"Do you want to get married?" asked Fatimah, which then made me flabbergasted.

"Me ... get married, Mother?" I repeated his question.

"Yes. Are you ready?"

"I, I haven't thought about it, Mother. With my situation like this, getting married is not easy" I replied, slowly.

Not that I'm pessimistic, but looking at my current situation, who would want to marry me?

Not only virgins sometimes become obstacles, especially to have children outside marriage. A disgrace that is hard to accept.

"If anyone wants to accept you, are you ready to build a household?" ask Ms. Fatimah.

"I .. i___"

"Actually, Mother's nephew is looking for a mate. His age is no different from yours. He's not a voter, Kirana. Mommy is sure, she can accept your past," concluded Bu Fatimah.

Instantly, I lifted my head, and I looked at Ms. Fatimah's face tightly. Such a bitter past, is there really someone who would accept it so easily?

"Why?" Fatimah looked back at me.

"It feels like I still can't believe it, Mother, if there's someone willing to accept my past." I'm back down.

"Those who are intelligent will not dwell on the past, Kirana, because the most important thing is the present and the future. It is free to have a glorious past, if the present is far from His way. What can be expected in the future?

And vice versa, Kirana. Although his past was bad, but if he had repented, his future would be bright. There are dreams and hopes at every step. Kirana, if God alone can forgive, how can man still judge?

Believe me, Kirana, your niece is not a man who likes to bring up the past" said Ms. Fatimah, explaining to me.

I was still speechless, confused by the sudden, unreasonable feeling. Although I do not know what the form of the man that was spoken of by Ms. Fatimah, but my heart suddenly thumped without rules. What's wrong with me?

"Want to?" Fatimah asked again.

Seriate...