Taint

Dilemmas

My heart was racing, when I heard the expression of love from Brother Darren.

It wasn't the first time, but this time it sounded more sincere than before. The fear of loss, as if implied in each of his words. Oh my God, how big does that feel about me?

"Sister, I'm not leaving you. I've chosen you. This decision will not change" I replied.

"You sure?" asked Darren who I responded with a nod.

"If there was a man who loved you so much?" Darren asked again.

"Could that be Reza? What exactly did he tell Brother Darren?" I said in my heart.

"Didn't you love me too much?" I asked her a question back.

"That's obvious. I love you so much, Kirana. I'm sure this feeling is much bigger than other men" Darren replied.

"If so, what else do you doubt, brother? As long as you still love me and expect me, I won't turn away." I smiled while shaking.

Brother Darren looked back at me fixedly. His lips were tightly clenched, only his chest and shoulders were moving to the rhythm of his breathing.

"I've chosen you, and I'm not playing around with my decision. Trust me, I'm not leaving" I said, before Darren spoke.

I don't know why I was so upset when I saw him covered in a soft blanket. It was as if my heart had been hurt, looking at the grievous veils in the net. Was it because he was my future husband, or was it because my heart was beginning to turn?

Whatever the answer is, it definitely makes me confident in the decisions I have made. Brother Darren dared to choose me, without taking issue with his status and shortcomings. I shouldn't have let her down, let alone hurt.

"Thank you, honey," said Darren.

"No need to thank you, I should have done this." I looked down and hid a smile.

"Sometimes I'll tell you about Reza. Now ... let's go back to the living room, it's been a while since we left" Darren said. His voice sounded lighter than before.

"Well, we talk sometime. I also have one thing I want to ask Brother." I replied while following Brother Darren's steps.

"No need to ask. The answer is exactly what you think" said Darren. He looked at me briefly while raising both his eyebrows.

"Sister knows, what am I going to ask?" ask her.

"It seems to know."

"What?"

Darren stopped his steps. He looked up and looked at me with a smile.

"The beetle's wings were once broken, because jasmine never bloomed for him. But now, the beetle's wings are growing again. It can fly high, for jasmine has given up its stalk." Darren's sister widened her smile.

I gasped for a moment, I remember correctly about the poem Jasmine and Beetles. It turned out that the person who had sent the writing was indeed Brother Darren.

"Sir Darren gave the right answer. Why would he know if that's what I was thinking?" I said in my heart.

"I'm right, aren't I, honey?" Brother Darren blinked one eye.

"I don't know." I answered while putting my foot out.

I continued walking, leaving Brother Darren still unmoved in his place. This face is warming up, and I don't want her to see my red cheeks.

Serious conversations began to sound vague, as I stepped in the living room. Mother and future in-laws were discussing the wedding day. I don't know what their deal was like.

However, I did not know whether my wish was approved or not. Kak Darren's family includes a distinguished family, and again Kak Darren is also an only child. I won't be able to resist, if they want a big party for their only son.

Shortly after, I arrived at the living room. I nodded with a smile as the future-in-law stared at me. Then I sat down at the place I was back. While landing the body, I glanced to all directions. Where's Reza? Has he gone home? Was he really disappointed?

Questions begin to disturb the mind.

In the next second, Darren arrived. He sat in front of me with a bright face. Then, Mother and prospective in-laws convey the results of the marriage. From their agreement, my marriage to Darren will take place next month.

"Do you agree?" ask Ms. Renata.

Me and Brother Darren looked at each other, then he nodded slowly. Not long after, I also nodded, as a sign that I also agreed to the parent's agreement.

"Yes, Ma, we agree" Kak Darren told his mother.

"Kira?" Miss Renata looked at me.

"I also agree, Tan___"

"Mama," concluded Bu Renata.

"Eh, mmmm___"

"You'll soon be Mama's son, so there's no harm in calling Mama from now on?" said Ms. Renata.

"Mmm, i .. yes, Ma." I stammered when I gave an answer. I am not used to calling her my mom.

"Don't be nervous, don't be afraid, Ms. Renata is a good person. He loves you, Ra," whispered Fatimah, whom I responded with a smile.

After Darren and I agreed to the wedding, Mother and in-law discussed the course of the event. Originally, Ms. Renata insisted on having a lavish party. Invite friends, relatives, and all colleagues. However, thanks to the explanation of Kak Darren and also Bu Fatimah, he relented. He agreed to a simple marriage.

I breathed a sigh of relief, for it was not without reason that I asked. I already have Dara, while my status is single. I'm afraid I'm humiliating Darren's family.

"Where to go, Om?" asked Darren suddenly.

"Go home" replied Mr. Farhan, Reza's father.

I saw him breathing heavily, as if a burden was trying to be harbored.

"You know for yourself what you are, Ren. Things like this become very sensitive for him" said Bu Lena, Reza's mother.

"Yes. I get it." Brother Darren smiled bitterly.

"Actually I was embarrassed by his attitude just now, he immediately left without excuse. Though ... we are visiting," complained Miss Lena.

"It's okay, Mom, we get it. In young people, love is special. No wonder Nak Reza is acting like that. I also pray, Mom, that the girl Nak Reza loves will soon melt down and will accept it" she said.

"Amin, I'm very happy if that hope is realized. In the last few months, Reza has lost his way. He's really down. If only I knew who the girl was, I would try hard to help her. But baby, Reza won't say his name." Bu Lena lowered her head while gripping the stalk of the cup. It seemed obvious that he was thinking about heavy things.

My heart was pounding, his fretting and fidgeting became more and more real. Could it be that girl was me? I lifted a little bit of my face and looked at Darren. His hands clenched tightly and his jaw hardened. He was like a man who was harboring jealous flames. Now that I know, that girl is me.

"What should I do? I was indeed angry with his attitude in the past, but I had no intention of hurting him, let alone making him lose his way. However, I also could not possibly lend a hand and accept his love. I've been with Darren. I chose it myself, where might I go. O Allah, I do not wish to injure any of them, please do not place my servant in a dilemma. Let the servant be happy, O Allah," I said in my heart.

Seriate...