Taint

Life is a Journey, Not an Escape

I looked down, shedding tears that kept on piling up. I clutched the blanket that covered the body, this time I was really fragile. Why are there always obstacles? Why is the thing I'm putting on always a mess? If it was like this, what could be more beautiful than death?

"Kirana, why even cry?" Fatimah grabbed my chin and wiped my tears.

"I'm sorry, I can't accept Mom's offer" I whispered, very quietly.

"Why? You still don't believe me?" ask Ms. Fatimah.

"I believe it, but .. I can't go back downtown." I answered while brushing the messy hair around my face.

"Are you there?" asked Fatimah, who I then responded with a nod.

"Have you come here, wanting to go and leave your bitter story there?" Fatimah asked again, and I responded with a nod.

"Kirana, listen to me. Life is a journey, not an escape. Whatever trouble befalls you, face it, don't run from it! If you manage to go and forget about your problems, then what do you get? Only a pseudo victory, Kirana, that past will still haunt you. However, if you stand firm and face it without running, you will become a new person. Great and strong person. That past will no longer haunt you, because you completely defeated it. You will be a wise and mature person, who will always be ready to face the rigors of the world. Remember, Kirana, in life, the problem must be there, and you can't keep running from it." Fatimah held both my arms. His eyes were shady, as if he could cool my feelings.

I took a deep breath, once again I trusted someone. Miss Fatimah, every sentence she uttered, was like a recommendation that would be a condition of meaning. I was struck by his advice, and I decided to go with him.

"I chose to believe, because I had no better choice. I'm going back downtown, but if it's still a sham, I won't think twice about picking up death" I said in my heart.

_______

Two days have passed since I opened my eyes and met Ms. Fatimah. Now, my condition has improved, and the doctor has allowed me to go home. The cost of the hospital is not small, and Ms. Fatimah who bear it. Actually I feel bad, but I have no other choice.

"Don't think too much, Kirana! I'm happy to be able to help you, and I'm even happier, because you're willing to accept Mom's invitation. Kirana, if you don't mind, I really hope you call Mother."

The words of Mrs Fatimah are still ringing in my ears, despite the words she had uttered a few hours ago. Now, I was sitting in the car, next to Ms. Fatimah, we were on our way to the city center.

From my observation, it seems that Ms. Fatimah is not a simple person. His car was luxurious, and the items he wore also looked elegant. I don't know what made him help me. Is it because of my concern, or maybe he has another reason. Whatever it is, I just hope that things will take my side, may God make my business easier.

"Yes, son." Fatimah looked at me.

"Is Mother sure to invite me to stay at Mother's place? With my situation like this, there must be many who insult me, is Mother not ashamed?" ask me carefully.

Fatimah did not look at me, but she gave a big smile.

"Whatever outsiders respond to you, Mother will not regret this decision. Instead Mother will be the first to defend you, when others try to corner. Kirana, Mommy has also been in a difficult position, where the world and circumstances do not have justice. Maybe ... the story that Mother experienced is no less bitter than your current story," replied Ms. Fatimah with a sad look.

"Mother ever___" I hung up my sentence, I didn't have the right words to pass it on.

"Just enjoy this trip, later after we arrive home, then we share the problems of each. We talk to each other and listen to each other, yes!" Fatimah rubbed my head.

"Yes, Mother. Mmmm but, there's still a bit of stuff going on, may I ask, Mother?" I looked at the face of Fatimah who was focused on the wheel.

"Just ask, son, don't hesitate and don't hesitate."

"Why did Mother help me? Is it because of my apprehensive circumstances, or ... because Mother has another reason?" ask me slowly.

Long enough Fatimah was silent without a word, then he pulled over his car, and stopped under an acacia tree.

"Are you disappointed, if Mother helped you for some other reason?" Fatimah asked back.

"What is Mother's excuse?" I looked at his black bead which was currently also looking at me.

Seriate...