Taint

Kirana Plan

I sat pensively by the window of the room, lamenting everything that had suddenly changed in such a short time. Three months ago, I was still smiling and laughing. Go to college and bring noble hope. My father, mother, and two brothers love me so much, I never thought there would be a day in my life.

Farida Wijayanti, Dad's only younger sister - who died at a young age. Every year, we make a pilgrimage to his grave. I also often send prayers, and sow flower petals. However, I did not expect at all, if she was the woman who contained me, and she died from giving birth to me.

"It hurts so much" I whispered to the wind wiggling the leaves of the red shoots beside the house.

Soon enough, the sound of the door creaking blew my daydream. I turned my head, and I found Mom walking towards me with a tray. Oh my God, how wonderful he is. Although I am not his biological child, although I have caused problems that are not simple, Mother's affection does not fade. His attitude was still exactly the same as last time.

"Ra, eat first." Mom put a tray on the table.

"I'm not hungry yet, ma'am" I replied. Right now, hunger and thirst seem to be unwilling to greet me.

"Don't do that, remember your baby, son. You have to eat, do you need a bribe?" bargain Mom.

"No need, Mom. Yes, soon I will eat," I said with a fake smile.

"Good, don't forget to spend, yeah. You may be sad, son, but remember him. He needs food, he needs peace. For that, do not get too late in your problems. I really hope she grows up healthy, and will be born safe. Kirana, the child is God's care. In any case, we are obliged to be grateful for his presence. There are many women who want it very much, but have not been trusted by God. So, love her, son, yeah. Although there is no husband, there is a mother who is always with you." I rubbed my stomach gently.

In his touch, in his speech, is implied a boundless strand of love.

"Yes, Mom. I will love him, for sure" I said.

Mother did not answer, she only responded to me with a soothing smile.

"Mother!" call me.

"I'm sorry, Mom." Actually, there are many things I want to say, but it feels like this tongue is funny and only an apology that I can say.

"Enough, son, don't keep apologizing. Mom's okay." Mom stroked the top of my head, tidying up the hair I hadn't had time to comb.

"But Bu___"

"Are you thinking about Denis and Bayu?" ask Mother.

I didn't answer, but I looked down, and I thought I knew what was in my heart.

"Don't think of them, Kirana. They have grown up, they have a family, they live in their own home. Mom doesn't matter even if they don't want to come here, the important thing is that you're next to Mom. Whatever happens, I can't let you out of this house. You're Mom's son, and this is Mom's house, so I'm more entitled. Already yes, do not think strangely, quickly eat, and after that rest," explained Mother at length.

"Okay, ma'am," I answered briefly.

"Mom's out first, yeah. There's little that needs Mom's help." Mom went and left me alone, without waiting for my answer.

I rubbed my face violently, I knew what Mom was feeling. He took great pains to hold back his tears, and perhaps this departure was to cry. Although Mom said it was okay, but I'm sure Mom was very sad to hear Mas Denis' decision.

"I know, it's all very hard for Mom. I'm sorry for the burden, and the stretching of my relationship with Mas Denis. Later tonight, let me make up for everything, ma'am. Denis won't be angry, and I don't have to throw me out. O Allah, may this be the best choice" I said with teary eyes.

The long plan had matured in my mind. I hope this is the right choice. Beautiful dreams and bright hopes are gone and gone. Now, I'm just trying to gather the scattered pieces of despair, stalk them, and make a point to get out of the bitter dream.

Seriate....