Taint

Peeling the Past

"Imah" mumbling, quietly, but I could hear clearly.

"Mother, Mother, do you guys .. know each other?" I looked at them in turn.

"No, this is impossible! No!" Fatimah said as she shook her head and stepped back.

"What's up, Mommy?" I asked quickly, but Ms. Fatimah did not answer. He even left, leaving us.

"Mother! Wait, Mother!" I shouted, calling Miss Fatimah.

I look at the departure of Bu Fatimah with nanar. What is this, why did he leave immediately, without excuse. Even my screams, only considered the wind then. I want to chase after Fatimah, but I also can't leave Mom just like that. We just met, should I let her down again?

"Kirana, since when did you know her?"

Mother's question jolted me. I quickly turned and looked back at Mom.

"About a month, ma'am. Mom ... also know him?" I asked back.

"I heard you call her Mother. Do you know anything, Kirana?" ask Mom who made me even more clueless.

"Mother helped me, because I was in a slump. I don't know shit. What's wrong, Mom?" I held Mom's arm tightly. I looked at her hollow eyes that kept on gnawing.

Mother did not open her voice, so I asked again with higher intonation.

"He ... he's Galih's wife, your real father."

I pegged for a moment. Heart rate and blood flow, as if stopped without permission. I still can't talk, only my net keeps looking at Mom's face.

Mom's expression was very serious, there wasn't a single veil of lies there. Slowly my tears came back, another bitter fact about my past began to unfold.

"Here he had come to the house and was angry with Mas Adi. He was looking for Farida, who was not there at the time. He said Farida had ruined his household. Mas Adi and I invited him to talk well, but he was already floundering. He kept on chiding us and would not listen to us. But ... used to look nothing like that," Mother explained. I keep hearing it, even though this thought is floating in the air.

Now I understand, the bitter thing that ever happened to Ms. Fatimah, was caused by my biological mother. The man who I have always been fooling around with, turns out to be my real father. Now that everything makes sense, why do my face and Arina look similar. Because in our bodies flow the same blood, the blood of a father.

"O Allah, how broken your heart is to accept this fate. Mother helped me and loved me, but it turned out that I was the son of the woman who ruined her life. Why did You meet us in this way, O God," I said in my heart.

"Actually at that time, your father was willing to take responsibility. But no time had that intention materialized, your father was in an accident and was not helped. That is why, Farida gave birth, without the bond of marriage." The more Mom explained, the more tight I felt.

"Why does it have to be like this, Mom? Why should Mother, the woman who became the wife of Father. Mother is very kind, how does she feel after knowing this reality, Mom," I lamented.

"All things have been written in the line of destiny, son. Be patient and pray to God, asking for guidance and ease. All burdens will be light, if we leave them to Him. Kirana, I'm glad to see how you look now." Mom rubbed my head covered in a veil.

"Mother is knocking on my heart's door, Mom. At that time .. My condition was bad, and Mother who came to help. I'm sorry ma'am, I'm leaving without excuse. I didn't want to trap Mom in trouble, I realized I was wrong, I didn't deserve to live with Mom," I said, explaining the reason behind my departure.

Denis came out after Mother left the room, so I had a chance to have a one-on-one talk with Mom.

"Your mind is too shallow, Kirana. Whatever your fault, you're still Mom's son. At that time Denis was an emotion, but .. actually he didn't really throw you out, Kirana, either" Mother said.

Would Mother accept me?

One question that had disturbed my mind. If he's angry, then how do I apologize and fix all this. Oh Lord, how hard are the trials that You have given.

"I'm sorry I couldn't look after you and protect you. It must be hard living alone. I'm sorry, son," said Mother.

"It's my fault, not my fault. I'm the one who should be apologizing, I made Mom worry until it hurt like this. I'm sorry, Mom." I put my face in Mom's arm. My tears wet his wrinkled skin.

"Here, son, don't cry. Whatever happens, now that we have met, may God still allow us to be together. Mother's health has been much better, hopefully cepet completely healed, so you can hold your child."

I felt the warm touch of Mom's hand rubbing my shoulder. I enjoyed the moment of caress that I missed so much. After a long time dissolved in the cradle, and my crying had also subsided, I raised my face. I wiped the remains of tears still wetting my cheeks, then I spoke with a smile.

"Grandson of my beautiful mother, I gave her the name Sabrina Dara Azzahra. She was born yesterday, Mom," I told Mom.

"Subhanallah, what a beautiful name. What's Dara's call?" ask Mother.

"Yes, how can you be brave?" I smiled wider.

"If it's not wrong, Dara is Daniel and Kirana" replied Mother who then made me bow.

"I'm sorry, Mom, that's true. I didn't mean to expect his father, but ..he is our son," I said, slowly.

"Mom understands, Kirana. Do not be moody again, yes, believe in Mother, God is All-Knowing. If he is your soul mate, God will give you a way to be together. But if not, there must be another soul mate who is much better than him." Mother said while rubbing my cheek.

"Yes, Mom." I held Mom's hand still on her cheek.

"Without passing through the night, we cannot gaze upon the beautiful dawn. Likewise with life, without going through difficult times, we cannot achieve true happiness. Mother's prayer is always with you, Son, rest assured that someday you will also be happy. Never give up, yeah!" said Mother.

"Yes, Mom. I won't give up" I replied firmly. "I'm sorry for acting stupid, ma'am. I promise there won't be a second time" I told him in my heart.

"Good, I'm glad to hear that. Oh yeah, Kirana, you got HP?" ask Mother.

"Bring, Mom," I replied. Last week Ms. Fatimah bought me a cell phone.

"Telphon your bundle and apologize to her. Speak carefully, Kirana, she helped you" said Mother.

I nodded and then picked up the phone I kept in my pocket. Without a second thought, I immediately called Ms. Fatimah's number. I hope he will accept it.

A few seconds later, the phone connection began to connect. I breathed a sigh of relief, at least Miss Fatimah still wants to talk to me.

"Assalamu'alaikum, Mother," I said.

Ms. Fatimah returned my greetings, and then uttered a stupefied sentence to my astonishment. I turned wide when I heard his voice.

Seriate...