Taint

Line Two

The thunder of rain that has been pouring down the city since morning, as well as the thunderbolt that has struck me, does not shake my current activities. I sat alone on the edge of the bed, holding a white flat object.

The feeling in my chest was turbulent, I was really afraid of the worst possible thing that happened to me. Guests who usually come from a young date, now do not appear until the old date. I was worried that something wasn't right with me.

"Hopefully the line is only one" I murmured alone. Then I closed my eyes, not daring to stare at the test results that would appear in a few seconds.

After a few minutes of closing my eyes, I finally opened slowly. My heart thumped as I stared at the end of the test pack I was holding with both fingers.

The tail of my eyes glanced more and more to the right, looking at the test results within me. And the next second, my heartbeat seemed to stop instantly. My eyes warmed, and my body trembled. Two red lines were clearly emblazoned, as if extinguishing an entire lantern in the world.

"No, this is impossible!" wailing helplessly.

Without realizing it, it just fell. The energy in my body seemed to disappear without rest. Tears began to fall, soaking the cheeks and lap. The hopes, the ideals, and all the dreams that I almost achieved, are now all at stake. Will I still be able to achieve that dream, if I alone have now been stained. What was my life after this?

I slumped from the edge of the bed, the coldness of the floor no longer cared about me. I sat down while hugging my knees. My eyes were staring at the flat object lying near my toes.

I hid my face between my knees, I shed my tears there, until the pants I was wearing were wet with it. In this instant, I was completely devastated. I realized the stupidity I was doing was a disaster to myself.

While I was still crying, I heard my phone ring repeatedly. But I don't care, I'm lamenting the regret that's somehow the end of it.

"She, since morning you haven't eaten!"

Mom's screams echoed outside the room, along with a knock on the door.

"Yes ma'am, I'm still working on the task, it's about to be done," I replied in a trembling tone.

"You cry, huh?" ask my mother from outside.

"No ma'am, I'm just a little flu" I told a lie.

"Yes already, then his duty left. Eat, after that rest!" mother said, soft and loving.

"Yes, Mom," I said slowly, whether you can hear me or not.

"How would you feel if you knew what happened to me?" I closed my eyes, imagining all sorts of bad possibilities after everything was revealed.

"Mother must be hurt and disappointed. Why am I so stupid?" I hold my head tightly. Dizziness and pain seem to puncture every cavity in the brain.

Kirana Mentari, the name I have been holding for the past 22 years. I'm the youngest of three children, and I'm the only daughter Mom and Dad have. Both of my sisters are married, each having a daughter. While I am still a student at one of the universities, in Malang City.

My family does not belong to the ranks of the rich, we live in simplicity. My father worked as an angkot driver, while Mom collected rinses from wet cakes peddled by the roadside.

They slammed their bones to meet my tuition. They are very proud of my ambition to become an Indonesian Teacher. They love me so much, they don't even let me find a side job. My job is to study and learn, while the cost matters, I can't come to think about it.

In the middle of the daydream, I rubbed the flat stomach. There was another life in there that began to dwell. The real life I hadn't expected was his presence.

According to the plan, in four months I started my internship at a Primary School not far from home. But I don't know, after I realized this harsh reality, fear slowly shackled my heart and mind.

"What should I do now?" I murmured with tears that never stopped.

"I need to talk to Daniel." I moved from my seat. I wiped the remains of tears with my sleeves.

I grabbed the phone lying on the bed, I saw five missed calls from Daniel. Without many words, I swiped the green button listed there. I called someone I named 'Love'.

"Hallo, Ra, you're fine, right? I called you earlier, but there was no response at all, what was it?"

I haven't had a chance to open my voice, Daniel's been looking for me with a long question.

"Daniel!" call slowly.

"What's up, Ra? Your voice is so hoarse, no longer cry, right?"

I heard his voice implying worry, until I unconsciously pulled the two ends of the lips into a smile.

Daniel, from the past until now has never changed. Always affectionate, attentive, and very caring. I saw the sincerity of love from the look in the eyes that she was emitting. It's just that he has one drawback, which is often invites me to do taboo things. And strangely, I always pass the invitation, even I always enjoy it. I don't know where my logic is, whenever I get close to him, I always lose my mind.

"Austenance!"

"I, I am crying again, Niel," I said softly.

"What's the matter, Kirana? Let's tell me the same story!"

I heard her voice full of worry. The one thing she hated the most was my tears.

"Daniel, this problem is quite severe. I can't tell you on the phone. How about we meet now, mumpung not yet afternoon." I put my feet to the side of the bed. I took back the flat object I had abandoned.

"Kirana, sorry. Now I'm still in Surabaya, go with Papa shopping, maybe go home late at night. How about tomorrow morning?"

I pinched the temple while sighing deeply. Actually, Daniel's been telling me stories since last night. He will come with his father to Surabaya, because today he has no class. Thinking too much about the problems that whack, I forgot about it.

"Austenance!" His voice again called to me.

"All right, tomorrow," I said slowly.

"I'm sorry, Ra. This time I wasn't there when you needed a backrest. But Ra, can't you just tell me a little bit, so your burden is a little less."

Long enough I set my heart, stringing the right sentences to explain everything. But I haven't had the chance to say a word, the phone connection just disconnected.

I clucked in annoyance as I stared at the screen of the phone, "why must it now be dead."

I threw my phone on the bed violently. Exasperated because the battery runs out at the wrong time. Then I kept a flat object that I was holding, I did not want Dad and Mom to know about my pregnancy. Although I'm sure, I can't always hide this. But for now, I'm not ready at all.

Then I lay my body on the white sheet. I leaned my head on the pillow, I stared at the ceiling of the room with my nanar. A flashback about the past, spinning in the mind. Two years ago, I first stared at Daniel's pair of chocolate beads.

Seriate...