I'm Not Him

85

Bondan runs down the aisle of the hospital, looking for where Rania was moved. Arumi sees him, he approaches and tells her where Rania is.

Bondan walked slowly after the distance of his room began to close, he saw Vero standing glued in front of the door of Rania's room. Vero saw Bondan coming. His gaze seemed desperate with the situation.

"He wants to be alone" said Vero.

Bondan sighed, he had to refrain from meeting Rania directly. Then he looked for the others.

"Mom Vera and Ramadan?" ask Bondan.

"Ramadan drove Bu vera home, she looked exhausted from keeping her anxious because she didn't want to talk" Vero said.

"You look tired too, I'll take care of him. Go home!" bondan.

Vero nodded, he took Arumi home.

"Ouh yes, Mr. Nurdin will come to accompany you" said Vero.

"Ok" replied Bondan.

Bondan sits in his breath with the gasps he's hiding from Vero. She desperately wanted to enter and hug Rania. But remember with Vero's words, Rania wanted to be alone.

Two hours passed, he saw the clock given by Rania in his hand. He caught his breath, he felt he could no longer control himself. He decided to enter, slowly opening the door.

Rania sat on her bed staring at the glass window that showed the star-studded night sky. He looked up a little and heard the door open slowly.

"Go! I can't see you" said Rania.

~He's talking to me!~ Bondan's heart.

"Why?" ask Bondan.

"Just go, me, I don't deserve Bondan anymore. So go!" rania said with her tears.

Bondan came and hugged her. Rania tries to stay away, she does not want to be hugged Bondan because it feels bad and dirty to be a victim of rape.

"No, don't ask me to stay away from you. I beg!" bondan.

She kept trying to hug Rania. And finally she was able to make Rania give up and cry in her arms.

"I'm sorry, because I stayed away from you yesterday. I focused too much on my pain, to the point of ignoring your pain. I'm sorry" Bondan said repeatedly.

Her tears broke in Bondan's arms. Gently, Bondan stroked her hair.

Dila who had just gotten to see that scene in the doorway, she retreated slowly. His face looks very upset. He held his phone hard.

~He's conscious and just wants to talk to Bondan. I'm so upset Rania, why don't you just get depressed. Why not let me just once get what I want~ said Dila's heart.

He sat in the waiting chair. He's waiting for Bondan to come out and be nice to him. But Bondan did not come out until late at night. Until Mr. Nurdin came to smile at him.

"No Dila!" greet Pak Nurdin.

Dila stared cynically at him, he stood up and left without replying to Mr. Nurdin's greeting.

"Where are you going?" ask Mr. Nurdin.

Dila hurried away, Mr. Nurdin was astonished.

"Just the same face, different nature" he murmured.

"What's up, sir?" ask Bondan.

He just got out.

"There is..Who is his name? Duh.Rania's flying!" said Mr. Nurdin thinking.

"When Sir!" bondan replied with a smile.

"Oh yes I forgot. Lah from dalem? He said not to talk, how about now?" ask Mr. Nurdin worriedly.

"He's sleeping sir. He is still crying, maybe the shadow of the day's events can not be lost" Bondan explained.

"Oh yes, he said the culprit had met, was arrested?" ask Mr. Nurdin.

"Udah Sir!" answer Bondan.

"Thank God, now just entertain Rania so that she can quickly go home. It will not be comfortable if you stay in the hospital for a long time" said Pak Nurdin.

"Yes Sir!" bondan.

Mr. Nurdin held Bondan's hand.

"So she is, babe believes, you can accept her for who she is. You can also be happy with him, right?" said Mr. Nurdin.

They spoke in a slow voice. Chat about Rania's childhood and her mischief first. His kind and loving qualities that never change.

###

Upon returning to Ruby's house, she saw a man standing in front of the fence wearing a jacket and head covering.

"Hey, who are you? You wanna steal?" shout Dila.

The man looked.

"JUDI!" Dila surprised.

But he was not surprised. He walked over and folded his hands on his stomach.

"Why? Looking Rania?" ask Dila ketus.

Yudi looked at her with her eyes, she did not answer.

"Didn't you know she was a victim of kidnapping and rape?" said Dila.

Yudi rounded his eyes and held Dila's hand.

"What's? The rape?" yudi.

"Deliver! My hands hurt to know!" tepis Dila's.

"Where is he?" ask Yudi.

"Heuh.you're a real jerk, I love you all. But it's still Rania on your mind. Remember he is a rape victim, be a little disgusted" Dila said.

Yudi did not care about Dila's words, he threw out his hand and left. Dila looked at him annoyed.

"Based on a fucking guy, you used being with me because you imagined Rania's face. I'm really stupid for wishing you could change your love. DAMN IT!" shout Dila.

Yudi continued to leave and did not care about his screams. He pulled out his phone and called Arumi.

"What hospital?" ask Yudi directly.

Arumi who woke up from her sleep, heard her brother's voice asking for the name of the hospital, she already understood the question.

"No need to go there, there are many who take care of him. Go home, sleep there!" said Arumi.

Yudi sighed, she understood that she was indeed only going to make Rania even sadder.

"I want to go to America tomorrow, at least let me see her face once" Yudi said desperately.

Arumi was silent to her brother's words. He also said the name of the hospital. Yudi hurried to go there.

Up there, he saw Mr. Nurdin in the waiting chair, he understood that Rania's room must be nearby. He finds her, but stops at the door when he sees Bondan sitting staring at Rania who is sleeping.

Yudi felt like he had no chance to meet Rania for the last time. He retreated slowly and walked away from Rania's room.

His steps were lifeless, as if without direction he was walking following his grief.

~If only I had said I loved you and needed you beside me. Until you think back about refusing the job and staying with me, maybe today will never happen Rania. Today is my last day to meet you and see a man who accompanies you in your worst times, keeps your sleep, and ensures your comfort. I'm not relieved Rania, I'm getting sicker, feeling more and more claustrophobic, I can never say straightforwardly that I love you. Someone comes in and becomes your love. I will always suffer with this regret Rania~ Yudi said on her way.

All the memories of her past with Rania appeared and made her again lament her regrets.