I'm Not Him

149

Dila stood in front of Vera's house and waited for people to come out after she knocked earlier. Rania walked slowly closer to the door, she opened slowly and looked at Dila. They exchanged looks for a few minutes, until Bu Vera came because Rania did not answer.

Ms. Vera stared and put her two stairs at her waist, feeling uncomfortable as Dila came. Dila lowered her gaze and felt uneasy as well, because the last time she met them, she slapped hard on Rania without understanding her position.

"You what?" ask Miss Vera ketus.

"Mom...!" Rania asks her mother to hold back.

"You talk to Rania" said Dila slowly.

"You what? Want to blame her again because you didn't marry Yudi?" said Bu Vera as if he was very upset and familiar with the nature of Dila.

"I want to ask Rania to marry Yudi, pity her baby. He also has to get the love of his father" said Dila.

Rania looked surprised at Dila's words. Bu Vera sighed and laughed at Dila's words. They were still standing in the doorway, Dila was not yet welcome to enter.

"Don't mess around, son, the decision to get married or not is not because you're ngizinin or not" said Bu Vera.

Rania lowered her head, feeling that Bu Vera's words represented her feelings. Dila was a little surprised by Bu Vera's unexpected response. She thought they would be happy with her idea to marry Rania to Yudi.

"It's not so, I..." Dila wanted to explain.

"Udahlah, you never understand what Rania means by her decision. It's good for you to go home and arrange your own life, don't disturb us" said Ms. Vera.

"Yes....!" Rania held him back again.

"Please Nia, from earlier mother's nahan-nahan continue!" Vera's mom is upset with Rania.

"Dila has not come in and sat down, I'm already angry with her" said Rania as she looked at Dila and reached out her hand to receive Dila's hand to enter.

Dila grabbed Rania's hand while shedding her tears. Feeling very guilty after always blaming him for everything that happened in his life. But Rania remains a sister who always accepts Dila under any circumstances.

Dila sat down with Rania so that her mother would not be angry anymore. Miss Vera went to the kitchen not caring about it, she continued making food for Rania.

"I also want to tell you that Arumi is pregnant. I think her gestational age is the same as yours" said Dila after Rania sat down.

"Oh yes, thank goodness" replied Rania.

His expression looked happy yet as if he was recalling who Arumi was.

"The wife of Brother Vero, our sister" said Dila, touching her hand.

Rania rounded her eyes, trying to be seen remembering. Dila began to think with Rania's expression still looking confused. But did not linger, Dila asked directly the intention and purpose of coming there.

"How do you want to marry Yudi?" tanya Dila whispered, with eyes watching towards the kitchen.

Rania looked at Dila's behavior and then smiled.

"I'm just getting married to Bondan. He promised to marry me. I was waiting for him" said Rania.

Dila was shocked by Rania's words.

"What?" tanya Dila made sure.

"What do you want to drink?" asked Rania who seemed to not remember what she said just now.

Dila started to worry about Rania's behavior. He stood up and approached her. Hugged him from behind. Dila cried on Rania's back with a sniffle. Rania herself could only remain silent and could not help her tears that were also dripping.

"I'm sorry, please don't be like this. You scared me, you made me think you weren't okay" Dila said.

Bu Vera who came out from the kitchen immediately hugged her hand staring at the scene. Dila's words seemed to represent her feelings during her stay with Rania after she was taken to her house.

Rania is smiling, active and doing all her habits. But every now and then he says something strange and just repeats. And there's only one name he's always called, Bondan.

###

Rania stood watering the plants she had been caring for these few weeks. Dila and Bu Vera looked at him from inside the house. Dila wiped away her tears hearing all of Bu Vera's stories.

"That's why I was angry when you came here, I didn't want you to make him sad. But he looks completely unaffected. He seemed to remember nothing" said Bu Vera wiping her tears with her shirt.

"I'll take him to see the doctor. I have to agree, it's for Rania's good. So that it can be handled psychologically. Instead of calling him crazy, I'm just afraid that everything that's happened has left his psyche deeply hurt. Psychologist's help is needed ma'am" Dila tried to convince.

Bu Vera looked at Rania with her eyes. He could not deny, Dila's words could have been true. All the events experienced by Rania, it might actually make her very hurt, but her determination not to show her sadness makes her look strong.

Bu Vera nodded in agreement to Dila's suggestion. They approached Rania who was cool watering the plants.

"I say goodbye, we will go for a walk if I have a holiday" said Dila while hugging him.

Rania smiled and nodded.

"I love you"

"Especially me, saayaanng very much with you" said Rania spontaneously.

Bu Vera looked at Dila who was also staring at her. Rania is back watering her plants. Dila is increasingly convinced that Rania is getting used to it and recollects the lost memory.

Dila kissed the back of Bu Vera's hand, she said goodbye. Her steps are ushered in by the hopeful gaze of Bu Vera, who hopes she will help Rania get her happiness.

Rania went into the house and went to her room. He changed his clothes and prepared to go to the store. Vera looked at him in wonder.

"Where are you, baby?" ask Vera to worry.

"Ke stall bu, babe must be busy, Nia wants to help" said Rania while hooking her sling bag on the shoulder.

"Yes, be careful!" said Mrs Vera.

"This mother, it's just a little forward, the road at least a dozen steps. Kok said his heart was like who wanted to go far" said Rania.

"Yes be careful dong dear, are you pregnant again. Do not overwork, do not be too cape" explained Bu Vera while rubbing Rania's stomach.

Rania looked at her stomach that was starting to stand out, very visible and she felt grand. He sighed, then put down his sling bag. Vera's watching her behavior.

"Why baby?" ask Miss Vera.

"I.ngerasa banggah ma'am, I did not go, I want to sleep in the room ya ma'am" said Rania complaining as if something hurt.

Ma'am Vera was astonished, she sighed loudly. The more the heart is more worried about Rania's behavior. But his feelings were a little relieved because Dila already knew about it. She hoped that her daughter's twin sister could resolve this concern.