I'm Not a Wild Grass

I Love You, Too, Kiy.. (POV Loan)

Next morning...

As always, my regular schedule every Sunday morning is to scrub my work clothes for the next week.

I woke up at half six in the morning. I was not praying, so I did not rush to take a morning shower. I thought, 'Usai rubbed later also surely I will feel sultry. So just take a shower!'

Erlan told me that later this afternoon she wanted to take me to the mall to help her buy a gift for Mama Ilmaya who will have a birthday next week. Therefore, I've been speeding to work on clothes that have been piled up. So that I can still do other work.

Right now, time has already shown at half-nine. And if I'm supposed to, I still have to scrub for about an hour to get all my clothes rubbed neatly.

Mama's off today and doesn't wash at people's houses. Somehow also today Mama also did not prepare fried foods for sale.

When I asked Mama for the reason, she said that her waist was thin. So he wanted to rest at home for the whole day.

"Why do you want to treat me yuk?" I'm taking Mama.

"No, ah, La. Mama was just exhausted. Rest all day also God willing will be better," Mama reasoned to refuse me.

"Seriously, Ma? Take medication with yuk. Like lately Mama often complains of low back pain," I again persuaded Mama to want to seek treatment.

"The name is old too, La. You rubbed it a lot?" Ask Mama to distract.

"A little more, Ma. Uh, later if the meatballs pass by, please stop, Ma. Laila Pingin treat Mama to meatballs. It's payday!" I deliberately showed off payday.

"Well, don't do it. Mama's not good at eating meatballs, La. Mouth tastes bitter."

"Tuh, right. Take a break yuk!"

"That's okay, La. It's better too, though. I was drinking stall medicine."

Not long after, there was the sound of greetings from outside the house.

"Assalamu'alaikum!"

"Wa'alaikumsalam warohmatullah! A minute!"

Mama who was sitting looking at the TV, then rushed up to open the front door.

Aki is still rubbing her clothes. But I could still hear when Mama opened the door and chatted with the guest who had just arrived.

"Do you want Kiyano here?"

I'm stunned. I still quite clearly heard Mama mention Kiyano's name.

'Was the guest who had just arrived Kiyano? What's he going to do here?!' my mind wonders to itself.

"His laila there, Auntie?"

'?!! That's right her voice!'

For a while, I did not continue rubbing my clothes. My mind is still wondering for what reason would Kiyano come to my house? Hasn't everything between us ended clearly enough?!

Then, I heard Mama's answer to Kiyano.

"Laila's rubbing her shirt, son. Go home. Like him today will also go out of the house," Mama replied in a flat tone.

"Where is Laila going, Auntie? Isn't the red date usually a holiday? Or, Laila's current workplace requires her to work overtime?" Kiyano asked in succession.

"Tante doesn't know exactly where they're going, son. Hh. advice from Auntie, you better stop seeing Laila. Pity Laila if you have to accept the accusation as an actor in your relationship with your wife, Kiy."

I was stunned when I heard Mama's advice to Kiyano. And I waited for Kiyano's answer later.

Realizing the meaning of Kiyano's words, I felt furious. I also pulled the cable. Then walk out to meet Kiyano.

"But now you've been referring, haven't you?!" I charged Kiyano with a furious feeling that I could no longer hide.

Kiyano frowned. "From which Lo. mm" Kiyano glanced at Mama. Only then continued his talk with stiff language.

"Where do you know, La?"

"It doesn't matter! The important thing is, is it true or not?! Honestly Kiy! Don't lie anymore!" My hardik sambik tousled waist.

Kiyano looked on for a moment.

"Yes. We did refer again. But that's what I did karen.."

"Bulshit! Just go! Get out of here right now, or I'll really hate you, Kiy! Go now, and never come to see me again! Our grant is over!"

"No! Wait a minute, La! I want to clear first! Please beat me up, La!"

I'm not waiting for Kiyano to finish what he said. As soon as I finished talking, I just turned around and went inside the house. When I get in, I just lock the door to my house. Then I sagged down, sitting at the door.

Again my heart was wet.again my wound was open gaping.not dry the old wound caused by Kiyano, now he came back and incised a new wound.

"Hiks.hiks.." I cried.

My face was hidden between two knees that I raised high. I held my legs tight. Trying my hardest not to get up and open the door and throw myself into the arms of the man I truly still love.

"Patience, honey.You're strong, son! This distress will surely pass soon..," said Mama comforting.

The next second I was in Mama's warm embrace. The gentle strokes on my back, finally managed to tear down the false wall of stubbornness that I had been showing before the world.

I have deceived Mama, Erlan and everything, about my feelings for Kiyano. Because in reality, I still love a man who should not accept my sincere love.

My love for Kiyano has deep roots in my heart. Even without me realizing and wanting it. Because of that, when I was about to uproot this feeling, it felt really painful. That means I have to hurt my own heart, pretty deeply.

In the end I poured out all my pain and sadness in Mama's sincere embrace.

I also cried a long time. Lamenting the path of my love and Kiyano that must end.

...

...

Outside the house, Kiyano still occasionally knocked on the door quite loudly. The man also said something that was difficult for me to understand, because I was still busy with my own tears and sadness.

Until then Kiyano's knock on the door was no longer as tight as at the beginning. And his voice had turned so much slower and sounded like a soft whisper in my ear.

Only one sentence Kiyano managed to catch heard, repeatedly.

"I love you, La. I love you.."

...

...

If Kiyano had known, my heart would have stuck the same sentence behind that cold door.

'I love you, too, Kiy. but I have to stop loving you, now.' (i love you too, Kiy.

***