I'm Not a Wild Grass

Meet Again (POV Erlan)

Have you ever been played with by destiny? I've been, and it doesn't feel so good.

So easy fate made me fall in love with a special sweet woman. But it turns out that the woman I love rejected me outright.

But I didn't give up. And stay by the side of the woman I love. With hope, one day he will admit the seriousness of my feelings for him. And finally it melted and returned my feelings with a similar taste.

But unfortunately, that hope must also be dashed, because it turns out that he who I love, has loved his other man.

At that moment, my world seemed to be about to collapse. It hurts me right to see Laila, the woman I love, making out with our boss, Kiyano.

I never realized Laila and our boss were that close. Though to my knowledge, all this time they fought more often than acting like lovers.

I even feel like the man who interacts with Laila the most in the office. By delivering the woman of my heart every year to go home from work every day.

But on that one stifling occasion, I watched with my own eyes. After Laila made out with Kiyano, she looked at the man with the gaze of a lover to her beloved.

I can tell, because I myself have felt the same feelings for Laila. I know the language of love. I can feel the aura of love. And unfortunately, all the aura of love was never shown by Laila when she was with me.

Laila's love never fell on me.

Laila's love, will never be mine.

...

Hhh..

Feeling that I could do nothing but retreat, I finally gave up. I admit defeat. Let me stand on the edge, if Laila can be happy with the man she loves. In comparison to that guy, I am nothing.

At the same time, the news about Papa reached me. Papa's heart disease returned and caused a stroke in part of his body. Inevitably, I as his only son Papa was forced to go home and continue his business.

Finally, I returned home to the house I had left two years ago, due to a quarrel between me and Papa. That fight should have been forgotten. Because now I'm being dragged into the backbone of our family.

The first day I returned home, Mama greeted me with a happy cry. In contrast to Arline, my only sister, who actually welcomed me with indignation and blind pinch.

Arline is my twin brother. Our faces are almost 80% identical. It's just that Arline's height is short. His height doesn't even reach my shoulder.

Flashback a few weeks ago.

I remember, when I came home, Arline instead greeted me with a reply to my left ear which was quite loud. Until I thought my earlobes would break.

Arline was angry at me for my decision to run away from home two years ago. He was really disappointed with my decision to defy Papa's orders and choose to leave home.

I apologize to Arline for my mistakes. But I'm sorry it wasn't enough to repay all the longing and disappointment he felt towards me during these two years.

Arline turned back to me. And not only my ears, but my arms and my waist.

"Aw! Aw! Aw! Forgive Lin! Forgive me! Ow hell! Eling, Lin! Don't be your bad brother, Lin! Aw! Aw! Argha! Mum, help me dong!"

My screams didn't move Mama's heart. Mama let me be eaten to the end by Arline. Only when I saw my skin reddish in many places did Arline stop pinching me.

"Durrect sister, you're Lin!" Umpat I'm upset.

"Better than you! The ungodly brother, the ungodly son, the ungodly grandson! Want to say more huh?!" Omel Arline was so fierce.

I can't answer Arline's statement. Because I myself do feel like a child, a grandchild and an ungodly brother in this family.

My departure two years ago really hurt a lot of my family. I didn't even get a chance to watch as Opung was picked up by his death.

Arline seemed to understand what was going through my mind. For a second later, he then said.

"Pad a message for you, brother. He said, Opung understood the choice of Brother two years ago. And Opung wasn't angry.. Brother.."

For a moment, Arline seemed to have trouble continuing. While I myself feel my throat starting to choked. It was as if there was a lump of weight clogging my esophagus and chest only.

"Sister.is Opung's most precious grandson. Those were Opung's words before Opung..!!"

I carried Arline into my arms. I let him cry to represent my true feelings and have been soaked with guilt.

Opung died of diabetes, exactly one month after I left home. Unfortunately, at that time I was still too angry and chose to leave myself to a village in the middle of nowhere on a mountain on the north coast of Java. So I don't know about Opung's death.

I only found out about Opung about five months later. Unfortunately, it was too late for me to apologize. It's too late for me to regret all the khilaf.

The Opung Pusara has long dried up. His body may have been partially decomposed by starving earthworms. While my apology to Papa and the family, has been rejected outright by Papa, as the head of our family.

Papa's too angry. And I feel too guilty. In the end I went back to wandering in my solitude out there. Until it doesn't feel like a year has passed. Or two years since my big fight with Papa passed.

flash back complete.

But the news two months ago finally got me back home. Because Papa has called me. Because my family needs me. And because I also need to escape the pain of my broken heart towards Laila.

All of this I believe to be the path that destiny has made me to go through. Even though I have to get re-shaken by the game that fate made for me.

Because now, in front of my own house, the woman I love stands perfectly with all her hallmarks. And the irregular heartbeat, which I had not felt for a long time, now again disturbed the tranquility of my world.

Ba dump's. Ba dump's.

I realized. My love for Laila is not over.

***