I'm Not a Wild Grass

Split (POV Laila)

And so, finally that night I went back to crying.

I was also determined to pack all the items Kiyano gave me. I wrapped it all up in a small cardboard box and I cried every single one of those things with a stifling regret.

Just a pillow doll, the only thing Kiyano gave me that I've been holding all night. While all the other stuff was packed in origin, for me to return it to the giver the next day.

Tomorrow is Sunday. A holiday for almost all workers. I've sent a short message to Kiyano. I invited him to meet again the next morning at Pearl Lake, where we first met.

I'll finish our relationship. I don't want to be so desperate in loving someone who has clearly spread lies.

This is enough that I was defeated by love. I'll make sure that I won't lose to the love that most of me find so fake.

All men are traitors. Papa traitor. Erlan traitor. Kiyano is also a traitor. A truly great traitor!

***

And finally, we go back to the beginning of this chapter of the story.

I waited for Kiyano long enough in front of the Pearl Lake that looked so calm. The calmness that kept his danger to itself, without anyone noticing it.

Just like me now. I waited for Kiyano in silence. With a box containing all the gifts from the man. I'll return all this stuff to him. Because I don't want to owe you. I don't want to keep something that isn't mine.

It should have been all of Kiyano's things and attention to me all along, aimed at Bella. Not for another woman. Including not for me who is nobody.

I don't want to be like weeds growing in the yard of someone else's household. Let me be like a firm tree standing on my own field. Even if the land is narrow, it's okay. What matters is that I don't hurt anyone else.

Minutes passed, until Kiyano finally appeared and the next minute I just cut off our relationship. But Kiyano did not accept it. He even continued to chase me who was leaving after I broke up this unworthy relationship.

"Laila! Wait me! Please give me a chance to say, La!" Kiyano's voice sounded still chasing after me who was steady leaving the Pearl Lake area now.

"No need! I know about you and Bella. It's over between us, Kiy!" I screamed, still half-run.

"Let me clear everything up first, La!" Kiyano was still bragging to chase after me.

On one occasion, my hand was finally caught by Kiyano. Then a second later, my waist and body were locked in the young man's tight grip.

"Laila! I said it first! Okay, yes, I admit that I was wrong already secret in my marital status and Bella of Lo! But it's all gonna end on Thursday, La! The final verdict will be.."

I cut Kiyano's words.

"LATE! it's too late, Kiy! I've already been labeled as an actor between your relationship and Bella. And Mama even knew it! Mama is so mad at me Kiy! Mama's disappointed!" I was full of pressure in every word I said.

Yep. Last night, my mom caught me crying. In the end, I want to tell you about the relationship between me, Kiyano, and Bella.

"Mommy's really disappointed, Kiy. Same with you and me. How can I relate to a man who still has the status of husband of another woman? Even if it is only legally a state. Mama herself asked me to give all these things to you, Kiy," I explained sobbing.

"Even." I continued.

"Even if I could do it, I would give this kidney back to you, Kiy, too" I said in a depressed tone.

Recollecting the incident last night, when Mama accidentally caught me crying. That's when Mama finally heard my story about Kiyano and Bella. Mama also finally found out about the rumors that started circulating in the office, which declared myself as an actor.

What surprised me was when Mama finally told me that Kiyano was a kidney donor when yesterday I was seriously injured by a knife stab by a snatcher.

Hearing this fact, I was suffocated. It just eroded my confidence now when I found out that I also owe Kiyano a kidney. How can I return this kidney to him? Do I need to cut my stomach and restore his kidneys intact to that young man? Obviously, that's not possible for me to do.

So the last way I can make up for my debt to Kiyano is to step back regularly from this relationship.

"I beg you, Kiy. please let me go. Let me get out of this relationship. I'mtired. I don't want to be labeled as an actor. Your usurper from Bella, your wife." I said back in a soft tone. But Kiyano cut my words back.

"Who has accused Lo of acting, La?! Tell me!" Amuk Kiyano still kept me locked in his arms.

"Free Kiy! Free you too. Everyone in the office has dismissed me as an actor. And I feel uncomfortable, Kiy!"

"Everyone in the office?! But how could they know?!" Ask Kiyano again to me.

Answering that question, a name just popped into my mind. Nindie..

Yep. Nindi is the only person I suspect as the spreader of the rumor. Because it was only to Nindi that I told her about my relationship with Kiyano and Bella.

Especially Gina, my other OB colleagues who have been so indifferent to me, yesterday afternoon I told me about Nindi telling people that I was the actor in Kiyano and Bella's relationship.

At first I didn't believe Gina's words. That's why last night I also called Nindi to ask her directly. Is it true that he has spread rumors of actors in the office?

At first I thought Nindi would reject this accusation. But when my question never got a rebuttal from Nindi, it knew me that the accusation turned out to be true.

Especially when Nindi confessed her actions to me with a cold tone that I had never heard coming out of her mouth.

"Who has spread the fake news, La?! Tell me!" Kiyano's loud voice brought me back to the present.

My mouth felt heavy to tell the man in front of me about Nindi and her treachery towards me. I'm still in shock over Nindi's confession last night.

Because it turns out that Nindi spread all the news on the basis of her envy towards me. He was jealous of all the good things that happened in my life.

Whether it was being the closest person to Kiyano, having many friends in the office in a short time, and what surprised me the most was the fact that Nindi actually liked Erlan. But Erlan likes me too.

Hence Nindi started to cultivate envy and hate towards me. I consider him my closest friend in the office. I thought we could be bestie until the end. Yet apparently..

"Don't shut up, La.." Kiyano's voice sounded so close to my ear.

I finally realized from my daydream about Nindi earlier. When I woke up, Kiyano's face was plastered so close in front of my face. And, almost he would come back to kiss me, but I hurriedly looked the other way. So Kiyano just kissed the side of my face.

"Take me off, Kiy! Don't make me hate you even more with this coercive attitude!" I threatened Kiyano.

And thankfully. My threat seems to have worked. Because a second later, Kiyano just let me go.

I immediately stepped back with a view that was still locked on the figure of the man in front of me.

"Don't come after me again, Kiy. Let me live quietly. I don't want to be considered an actor. So. We'll just split up here!" I said in a soft voice, before finally turning back and walking away.

Behind me, Kiyano is no longer chasing. I also accelerated my steps away.

Stay away from Kiyano. Away from my new-growing love but I had to cut it down so cruelly.

Also stay away from all the hurt and betrayal I receive from people I trust so much.

Whether it's Kiyano, or Nindi..

I decided to go and give up. And I did it all for myself. For Kiyano and Bella.

***