I'm Not a Wild Grass

Match with Azki (POV Laila)

"Lail's been changing lately.. Lail became more visible.peace. According to Nun," said Nunik suddenly, when the children were busy eating his cookies.

"Well, Buk De?" Nunik cried to Mama who seemed to be going back to the back of the house. Papa Ulum is currently planting new tree seedlings in his purchase with Mama in C city yesterday.

Mama turned around, looked at me warmly and said Nunik's statement.

"Yes. You've been happier lately, La. Happy is actually happy.."

I'm stunned. Realizing that my change since getting the bird dream and Erlan was also realized by the people closest to me. I don't know why, I feel guilty for them.

With my head a little embarrassed, I apologized.

"I'm sorry, I've been worrying you all this time" I said later.

"It's okay, il. Nun feels okay okay, really," said Nunik.

Meanwhile, Mama walked up to me and hugged me briefly.

"It's okay, son. It is natural for a mother to worry about her child. You feel it yourself too, right?" Mama said while looking at the children.

I realized the truth of Mama's words.

It does. A mother will always worry about her children. And I've been feeling it myself for six years I raised Mark and Nila without Erlan on the side.

Even if Erlan was still around, I would definitely still be worried about Mark and Nila. Especially in the first two years of their age.

A time when children are often sick. Whether it's fever, heat from teething, pain after falling from learning to sit, crawl, stand and walk. I've been through all of that process.

Those two years were the hardest for me to be a mother.

Thank goodness I didn't live it alone. Because I still have Both Mama and Papa who love me and also love my two children, my aunt continued me and also my two sisters-in-law, he said, and many others who helped me in my role as a mother. Like Nunik and his family, Azki, and the assistants in my house.

I am deeply indebted to all of them who have accompanied me through the role of a young single mother who is still inexperienced in many ways.

"Thank You Ma.. Nun.." I said again. This time while staring directly and alternately towards Mama and also Nunik.

Nunik replied to me with a smile. While Mama replied to me with her reassuring words.

"Sama-sama Darling. The most important thing is that you can be happy now. Don't just think about Mark and Nila's happiness. But think of your happiness ahead, son. Are you sure that your current condition is happy enough? Why don't you let others fight to make you happy again? Just like the deceased did before." said Mama Mutia.

I'm stunned.

"I mean Mama?" Ask me slowly.

Mama did not answer. He gently rubbed my head and gave a mysterious smile towards Nunik.

I don't know why I smell the conspiracy between Nunik and Mama. Like they were hiding something from me.

"Yes already. Mama wants to help your Papa back in the backyard. Pity it if the water all plants alone." said Mama while getting up.

I stared at the confused departure of Mama who disappeared into the back area of the house. After my eyes could no longer catch Mama's figure, I turned my attention to Nunik.

I know, Nunik will definitely give me a clear answer. Because Nunik always told me the truth from a long time ago.

"What do you mean, Nun? Do you know anything?"

Nunik immediately looked nervous. His eyes he diverted from my binding gaze. I'm stunned. Didn't think that Nunik wouldn't answer my questions straight away like he usually does.

Pushy, I asked my friend again.

"Say me Nun. You know me, right?" I asked Nunik to be honest.

"Lail didn't think of remarrying, did you?" Tanya Nunik suddenly.

'About marriage again?' my inner mumble.

"It has to be?" Ask me back in a very calm manner.

"Yes, according to Nun, the kayak must be yes." said Nunik with ambiguous sentences.

"According to my mom, too, Nun?" I said my guess regarding Mama's opinion about my current marital status.

"Well, that's about it."

"Why should I get married again, try?" Ask me to challenge.

Nunik looks to sigh. Only then did he express his opinion.

"Lail doesn't think the future of children is the same if they grow up without a Papa figure?" Tanya Nunik suddenly.

'Another reason for the sake of the children.' my inner murmur again.

"Indeed, children can't be happy just with me as a mother and also her papa, Nun?" Ask me again.

"Happy..? yeah.could. They'll probably be happy."

I smiled when I heard Nunik's answer. But my smile froze when I heard Nunik's next sentence.

"Happy but not whole. According to research, yes. A child who has strong bonding with his Papa can have a level of intelligence that is more than average than children who are not close to his papa, il," said Nunik.

"Is she?" Ask me a question.

"Yes. Read it in gugel. Lots of articles. Nunik forgot," Nunik admitted to being honest.

I chuckled softly at Nunik's last confession. My best friend is indeed starting to often forget since she gave birth to Angkasa.

Maybe his brilliant brain was starting to blunt because he was no longer teaching because he chose to be busy educating his own children at this time. Yep. Nunik has long been a housewife 24 hours a day now.

"Hmm. okay. I'll read it in gugel. It's true, but there are many Papa figures around them, too, Nun. There's Papa Ulum, Papa Gilberth.."

"They're not Papa's, il. They're the children's grandfathers. Don't bother!"

"When what was Darman? Kids play with him often. Your husband too, right?"

"I mean Lail, Lail wants Mas Aryo to be your Papa's children, il?" Nunik asked with raised eyebrows.

I immediately wanted to slap my own mouth for being careless.

"That's not what I mean, Nun! I mean, there's a lot of guys around the kids. Azki also called Papa the same children. Enough with dong!" I expressed my opinion in a hurry.

"Well! Why don't you just get rid of your relationship with Azki. So the kids can have a real Papa, can't they?!" Seru Nunik found a gap in my words earlier.

And I was also stunned. Didn't expect that I would fall into Nunik's sentence trap.

I suspect, it is Azki who is the purpose of Nunik in marriage-related talks at this time. And like her, Mama also has an opinion that is not much different from my best friend.

'Don't he again.why the hell are everyone busy my friends with Azki?' I complained in my heart too.

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