I'm Not a Wild Grass

Meeting Again (POV Laila)

The Ijab kabul event was delayed by an hour and a half. Because for an hour and a half, Mama and I had to sort things out between us and Papa.

Papa then told her life story.

According to Papa's story, since he left with his affair, Papa lived a frivolous life. They moved abroad and lived there for several years. He also opened a restaurant business that he managed along with his affair.

In the fourth year Papa abroad, a crisis occurred that eventually made his business bankrupt. At that time Papa's affair was pregnant with their son. And since that crisis began frequent squabbles between Papa and his mistress.

In the end, after their son was born, Papa's mistress suddenly went on the run with her one-on-one savings that Papa had back then.

Papa must support himself and his infant son (namely Darman) in order to survive. And time continues to pass. Until slowly Darman grew and was about a year old.

That was when the Visa raid suddenly took place. And Papa and Darman were also netted in the raid due to Papa's long-expired visa.

That's why Papa was deported along with Darman. And he began to live again in the city of B since ten years ago.

Actually Papa has regretted his actions for leaving me and Mama for a long time. Exactly when Darman was born and his second wife left him without a word.

From that moment on, Papa actually had the desire to see me and Mama to apologize.

Just begging for forgiveness. Because Papa didn't expect more that we would take him back in our lives.

But Papa had trouble finding our whereabouts. And the number of years has dragged it far. Papa begins to struggle to regain his courage and apologizes.

Especially when Papa first recognized me at Erlan's house. On my first day working there.

Papa actually wanted to reveal his identity to me. But the shame was too great to damage the confidence he had. Papa was too embarrassed to face me. Because he abandoned me for years.

Especially when I started to get in touch with Erlan. Papa is increasingly reluctant to show his identity to me. And the desire to meet me and Mama must be buried deep in his heart.

Until finally this morning. Papa heard that I and his Young Master Erlan are getting married this morning. He then heard from Mr. Kiman that this marriage will be held at the house of Bu Hajah Mariyah.

And from Mr. Kiman also Papa finally found out that for the past month I have been trying to find him everywhere.

Then that glimmer of hope reappeared in Papa. He hoped that Mama and I could accept his apology. If we cannot forgive his past mistakes, Papa will accept them.

That's what Papa said.

Hearing Papa's life story over the past dozen years, mixed feelings filled my mind. Between relief, contentment, sadness, and also pity. All of that I'm aiming for Papa. Papa I used to hate so much, but I miss him so much.

With the mediation of his father and Mother Nunik, as well as the advice of Mr. Kiyai Imron, in the end, Mama and I made peace with Papa.

The wedding event can finally be done with wisdom and full of money. Because I was also accompanied by Papa for the rest of the day.

After Ijab and kabul, Mama and Papa again talked at length. Although actually in my heart still has a dislike for the figure of Papa, but when I see a happy twinkle in Mama's eyes, I also try to close my dislike for my father.

Next, I let Mama and Papa talk to each other to resolve the problems between them. Somehow in the future between them, I handed it to Mama.

If Mama wants to go back with Papa, then I will accept her. Even if Mama wants to stay alone, I will still accept her. The main thing is that Mama is happy with her own life choices. That is enough for me.

The attention and affection from Papa that I should have received first, I no longer expected it. I may have started trying to erode the hate on my father. But his name was a wound in the past, surely he still left his own mark.

I will follow the advice of Nunik to keep doing good to Papa. That is the attitude a child should have toward his parents.

Even though Papa used to disappoint me. Even though Papa abandoned me. But my obligations as a child will remain for a long time. Even if our parents are not there, we still have to pray for their good.

After a brief conversation between the two, Mama and Papa finally decide to live their lives first. Seiyanya, according to Mama, they no longer hold each other's grudges and regrets for past mistakes.

"Mama wants the rest of your life to be filled with peace, son, so you should be able to forgive your Papa. So that Mama's heart becomes calmer in living life in the future." so Mama told me.

Before returning to the Erlan family home where he works now, Papa had asked permission to hug me just once.

With a feeling I can't explain his appearance, I nodded. Accept Papa's request. Then Papa hugged me tightly for a few seconds in silence.

Just one sentence I heard he whispered into my ear before he let go of his embrace.

"I'm sorry Papa, Laila. Deep in Papa's heart, Papa's really sorry to ever leave you and Mama."

My heart felt bitter when I heard Papa's words. Strangely, my mouth seemed to be locked tightly from answering anything. Even if it's just one word, I can't make a sound.

So until Papa passed away with Darman who looked at me sadly, I still could not say even one word.

I delivered their return with reddened eyes holding back tears, with my mouth locked by itself.

Only when the figure of Papa disappeared in the distance, and Erlan who pulled my face into his arms was I finally able to vent all the crying, sad, sad, the regret and tightness that had coagulated for a dozen years in my heart.

That night, was my first night with Erlan as a married couple. But the night that should feel beautiful for us, I just have to fill it with my own sad cry. And to the chest of Erlan's field I complained all my feelings that were spilled that night.

***