I'm Not a Wild Grass

By (POV Laila)

"So, until now Inda is still not better with Inda's husband?" Ask me for attention.

I and Inda are at the ice cream stand at the mall. We met by accident again when I was walking towards the bookstore. This is our last meeting so many times.

I made an agreement with Kiyano to wash my eyes at the mall. But, when we just arrived at the mall, Kiyano got a call from her mother. It turns out that his mother and only sister are now in front of the apartment where he lives to visit.

This visit was so sudden that it made our eye wash event so it had to be delayed.

Kiyano offered to take me back home. But I refused it. I'm still going to continue my eye wash at the mall without him.

But before leaving, Kiyano, with his obsessive attitude, gave me a warning.

Flash back half an hour ago..

"Revelation! Wash his eyes don't involve guys huh, La. Anyway if there is a guy who wants to pedekate in Lo, mending Lo ngaku kudisan deh let that guy go!" Kiyano warned.

"Damn it, you, Kiy! I even swear I was scabbing. Why don't you go to people if you're a role model. It's all over the face, hands, feet and body!" I'm getting back on the stick.

"yeah! This is not a role model, my dear Laila. My skin is already white from birth. If it's Lo's skin.."

"Hayo! Don't talk about skin color anymore! I need to tell you how many times Kiy has been to you, if my skin color is exotic and beautiful. Suitable for my sweet and charming face," I said with so narcissistic.

Kiyano took a slow look at my nose.

"Anyway, I put my heart to Lo ya La. Please, don't make my heart hurt by glancing Lo's eyes at the other guy.." Kayu Kiyano bobs.

"If the handsome brothers were the cashier guards I saw how? Time yes I want to pay I worry about his hands. Or even his chest. Later I can be considered to keep the same taste again he.." I babbled back.

"La.i..la! Just be careful if you wash your eyes with other guys! Or, already. Mending Lo is coming with me now. All acquaintances with mother and Mita. In fact, I want to, we've proposed it now. Or marry siri first."

Hearing Kiyano's horrible-sounding babble just made my hair stand up.

I felt unable to face a meeting with Kiyano's family. At least for the moment I don't feel ready.

"OKAY. Okay. Sorry. I was just kidding, my dear Kiyano.joking.I promise, I just want to cover to the bookstore to read free comics later. So you don't have to worry about taking your heart nitipin to me, honey.."

While talking to Kiyano, I also kissed the back of my lover's hand repeatedly. And my persuasion worked too.

Finally Kiyano left also left me to wash my eyes in the mall. While she returns home to her flat to entertain her mother and sister, Mita.

Flash back done.

Back to this moment, in front of the ice cream parlor.

Inda ate her ice cream slowly. Before he answers my question.

"Hh. yeah. I am very confused, La. Inda still loves Inda's husband. But I think he already wants to separate from Inda," said Inda with a soft voice.

I looked at the beautiful woman beside me.

"Indeed the reason Inda's husband ngajak split tuh why?"

"That's a misunderstanding between us. He was very angry with Inda. And. It seems like there's another woman he likes right now."

"That means your husband cheated on you?!" Ask me in flames.

I feel so furious. Suddenly I remembered the separation of Papa and Mama many years ago. And that is due to the presence of actors between their relationships. That's why I'm always furious when I hear stories about infidelity.

"He's actually dropped a talaq on Inda. But until now our trial has not been completed, because Inda who always defected from the trial."

"Why are you still maintaining your household as much as a guy who cheated on you, Nda? It's his own heart, his name!" Beware me in flames.

Inda had already finished the ice cream in her hands. And then he turned his face to me.

When looked seriously by Inda, somehow my heart felt a subtle sigh that made me uncomfortable.

"Because Inda is still very dear to Mas Kiyan, La. Although initially Nda wanted to give up on our marriage, but then Inda felt she would not be able to if she had to separate from Mas Kiyan. He's very valuable to Nda's life.."

"Mas Kiyan?" I parroted the name called by Inda in her curses just now.

"Yes. Mas Kiyano is Inda's ex-husband, La. But we're still legally legitimate states."

JEDAR!!

As if struck by lightning, I was immediately stunned when I heard the name of Inda's husband.

Trying to find a hope that can deny my prejudice regarding the identity of Inda's husband, I asked again.

"S..what's the long name.. su..your husband, Nda?" Ask me with hands that are starting to cool down.

"Kiyano Artalevi's. He works in the biggest textile branch of Nda's stepfather in town."

JEDARR!!

'Wait first! isn't Kiyano's ex-wife's name Bella?'

"Na..Your long name is who?" ask me back.

Then, Inda looked at me with a straight look that pierced through to the recesses of my soul.

It seemed like I knew why I was asking those questions.

Inda seemed to know, what relationship was established between me and someone named Kiyano.

Inda seemed to know, but she acted as if she did not know.

And, the answer that came out of Inda's mouth following her instantly shattered the last remaining hope in my heart.

"My full name is Bellinda Hikma. I used to be called Inda, Hikma or Bella.."

JEDAR!! DARRE!! DARRE!! DARR..!!

The third lightning struck my world so fiercely.

It's been my hope to deny the fact that this woman in front of me is actually Kiyano's ex-wife.

And, if what Inda or Bella said is true, then it means that I am the woman I once called a destroyer in the relationship between Inda and Kiyano.

I'm the actor!

'Oh Allah!!'

Then, without me noticing, I immediately got up to my feet. When I thought my body had lost its taste, I stammered with resignation to Inda.

I didn't get to hear his reply.

I didn't have time to feel any pain when my leg hit the trash.

I could not hear any sounds around me.

Because to me the world feels so lazy right now.

'Love..

The love..

Where does love take me..?

I have put a taste in the soul that I believe in

But he actually hurt..

...

Be ill..

Be ill..

Why does this love wash me with pain?

I felt my world falter..

And I lost my way..

Where else should I take the step..?

...

Hates..

Hates..

Should I melt my love into hate..?

I think love always ends beautifully..

I guess love won't sow pain..

But in reality my love is the source of all this pain..

Lord, hold my soul..

Don't you let me get lost and lost without You'.

***