I'm Not a Wild Grass

Meeting (POV Laila)

"Where, La, is your current workplace?" Mama asked me, while we were watching the show on her nighttime television.

"Good, Ma. Laila is very happy with Laila's current cooperation. The boss is good, his job is easy too. Laila just needs Oma's sick nemenin. Take a walk, talk, eat. While for the business of bathing already there is his own nurse. wihh. I feel like I'm not working anymore, huh, Laila!"

I told Mama about my experience working today.

"Eh, you know Ma? Laila met Ruby's mother!" Saying it again with an excited tone.

"Ruby's? Which one is it?" Mama furrowed her brows, trying to remember who Ruby was.

"That's a loh, her old employer Laila used to nurse Gaya's grandmother. Glad to see Ruby's mother again. If Gaya's grandmother still exists, Laila must still work as a nanny at Ruby's mother's house, Ma.."

I was daydreaming sad. I remember the grandmother I took care of when I was twenty years old.

"That's it, son. Do not remember sad things, if it makes you not focus on looking at the future. Everyone will surely meet their own death. The most important thing is that you did your best while taking care of Grandma Gaya first, right?"

"Hhh, yes, Ma. Well, anyway, Laila was very happy with Laila's current work. Moreover, his salary is twice that of OB's salary yesterday. Laila is sure to buy Mama a big house in a few years!" I exclaimed cheerfully.

"Hush. Don't be sordid, son. We can plan. But do not forget also God who is the best Planner,"

"Don't count the cats that are still in the sack. That is, do not be busy guessing something that is not sure to happen. Just focus on always doing your best. May the best be the reward for all our efforts."

I sighed tiredly in my heart. Didn't expect to get Mama's talk at a happy moment like tonight.

"Oh yes, La. Kiyano came to the house" said Mama suddenly.

I was stunned to hear Mama's words.

"You're parting ways, aren't you?" Mom asked inquiring.

"You are, Ma."

After a long time, I asked back.

"Would she want to come here?" Ask me indifferently. But in my heart, misah misuh.

"He wants to see you, La. You're right, you've ended your relationship?" Mom asked again suspiciously.

"Yes, Ma. For the sake of the sky, Lail swore it was done with Kiyano. I don't know why he still comes here. Do you want to collect the kidneys?" I guess.

"Hush! Don't say that ah. Mama thinks she just wants to talk to you. Hh. Actually, if the situation between you guys is not this bad, Mama really bless your relationship with Kiyano, La. He's a good man."

"Damn.. Mama! Mama is given what the hell is the same Kiyano, to the extent that she just. So wonder. Kiyano or Laila anyway, who is actually Mama's son?!," I regretted.

"Brake!"

I gasped when I received Mama's snaps just now. I just straight bow my head. Staring nanar on the tile floor white plain ivory.

"So your words, La! Mama loves you, because it's obvious you're Mama's son. Mama's business defending Kiyano has nothing to do with your status for Mama. Mama's just trying to judge Kiyano as fair as possible. And I'll tell you again, La. Kiyano is a good guy. Too bad his fate isn't as good as his person."

"..maafin Laila yes, Ma. That was it.."

"It has. Don't continue anymore. You better get some sleep, son. Tomorrow you must be ready when picked up by the driver, Ibu Ilmaya," Mama reminded.

"Yes, Ma. Laila sleeps first."

After that, I went into my room. While my heart still feels tangled after the conversation with Mama about Kiyano, earlier.

***

The next morning, Erlan came to pick me up.

"Well, you're the one who picked up? Yesterday Mr. Yadi brought me home" I protested to Erlan.

"It seems like I really mind if I pick you up, La?"

"Yes that. You are heavy, Lan. Weight on the scales of his sins! Ahaha!" I'm satisfied to laugh at Erlan.

"Haissh's.. Laila's.. Laila has not changed. From the past your pranks were not stumbling!" Reply Erlan sneered while ruffling my neat hair that I ponytail.

But Erlan instead came back to my prank and watched my face closely. For a moment, I thought my heart was beating faster.

"ah! Your face is still gini-gini. There is no difference even though your hair wants to be styled as well!" Erlan's comments were quite spicy.

I pushed Erlan's chest away. Then I left him to get into the car he was driving yesterday. However, a call belonging to someone else spontaneously made my step stop instantly.

"Chelle.."

Deg. Deg.

Deg. Deg.

Before turning my head, I knew very well the owner of the voice that called out to me just now.

It was this voice that I almost missed every night since I realized the feeling of love that I was addressing him a few months ago.

"...Kiyano?!"

***

"Do you want to come here, Kiy? Our relationship is over. It's over!" My words were spicy right into Kiyano's face.

Not far from us, I saw Erlan waiting for me at the door of his car.

"Gue misses the same Lo, La.. We haven't seen him in a long time.. Don't you think it's the same for me?" Kiyano asked with a hearty expression.

Deg. Deg.

Deg. Deg.

'Silver.. It feels like my heart hurts so much see Kiyano like this.' my inner sad scream.

Just a few days without seeing each other, I observed Kiyano's body taking care of it. It felt like my heart could not bear to see the man I still loved become like this.

I turned my eyes the other way. Not wanting to stare directly into Kiyano's eyes full of sadness.

"No. I don't miss!" My lies sound convincing.

'Great, La! You are so good at lying now! Nunik must be mad at you if he finds out, you start lying!' I rebuke myself.

Even so, I still flinch. Trying to display a strong self-image and not feel hurt by the cause of our separation, yesterday.

In fact, my heart is still so fragile. Absorb the paper that is exposed to the splash of dewdrops.

After a while, Kiyano spoke again.

"There's something I want to talk to Lo, La. Please, horrify me.." Kiyano pleaded again.

And my heart felt torn again, hearing Kiyano's cry that sounded so miserable. Just as sad as my own heart.

"Your chance to talk is over, when you lied about Bella, Kiy!"

"Gue ain't never lied about Bella, La. I just haven't had a chance to tell you about the trouble between Me and Bella to Lo. That's aja!"

"Bulshit! It's too late, too late. Once a liar is, it will forever be a liar!" I rebuked Kiyano.

"No, La! Please tell me first!"

Suddenly Kiyano pulled my arm quite tight. I tried to let go of my hand, but my power alone was not strong enough to let go of myself. And then..

"Need help, La?"

Kiyano and I turned to the origin of the voice. Turns out Erlan was already standing quite close to me. And he had even held onto Kiyano's hand which held my arm quite tightly.

***