I Have to Survive

68.The shadows of mass and the pain of Rendra

That afternoon Alisa and Lenan were seen at the airport, Alisa drove her fiance there to go handle their business and marriage affairs that she was supposed to finish ,because to take care of the marriage of two countries is very complicated as well and they also have to meet all the necessary and Lenan also wants the marriage to be recorded and recognized in his country and the country of Alisa, Alisa,Lenan wants to give the best wedding for the wife, and even if he wants Lenan also plans to hold a super luxurious wedding for Alisa his future wife . wedding party will be held in two places, too, his place and of course the place of his future wife Alisa, so from that two months is not a long time to prepare everything even it is fairly very memepet for them,but after thinking about Lenan and Alisa did expect the marriage to be faster better for both .

Not to forget Rendra Pun also helped deliver his papi candidate, he defends school just because he wants to take Lenan and release his departure .he is really happy to also have a prospective father who can one frequency with his, plus his very experienced Lenan in various things makes Rendra also want to learn a lot from him .

Lenan also hugged Rendra who was used to her, she actually wanted to hug his future wife too, but all her desires were thwarted by Rendra's son ,he seemed to be a wall that stretched blocking him and Alisa, with a fierce but funny face seen for Lenan, Lenan finally laughed seeing all that .

"okey boy's papi tipped mami take care of him, do not let the mami naughty because if you dare to be naughty papi will immediately pick him up by force to the country papi .ujar Lenan seriously .

"calm Dad, I'll keep an eye on mommy see you later , just in case of health" .i said the unstable kid wants to call ,mami papi, what Dad, and mom, that's .

Lenan touched the top of Rendra's head and scrambled her, nodding and handing all her full to her son and saying goodbye soon 'they parted there ,Lenan immediately entered the boarding pass to immediately go to the plane that will take him to his country .that's when the funny behavior was rumored, long-distance kiss was launched Lenan with his funny on Alisa even Lenan by calling dear when launching all that ,Alisa who saw the behavior of her fiance was immediately smiling and embarrassed because the work of Lenan who was like a child was still ABG .

Contact their behavior also get a smile from all those who see the behavior of the two but there are also those who shake - the ring is not able to see the Meraka who is kasmaran ,while Rendra can only shake his head shamed also look at the behavior of adults but his behavior is still rich in him ,he was embarrassed but on the other hand he was also happy to see the mama he called sister after a long time could smile and see her blushed because of a man, it was so happy ,she just expects her happy mami to come out of the shadows - the shadows of the past that make her always close herself to the men who come ,even as if her mother could never come out of the mass suffering of her, yes even though Rendra knew she was also included in her mami's past list ,even though he could be said to be one of the big chunks maybe even a source of suffering or even a packet of suffering with another, Rendra hopes only one mom can be happy, really happy ,very - very happy that's his hope as a child who knows how difficult his mother's life when breaking up will be separated from his biological father ,yes, although honest until now he has never met the man, he never knew what he hated or what clearly he never dreamed ,never even had the desire to look for it, all this time his Oma opa was enough to replace that guy ,even Rendra is sure that he who is said to be a biological father for him will not be able to give affection as much as the affection of his mother's parents give .

As thoughts passed through her childhood memories were stamped in Rendra's memories, she recalled the time she could only meet Alisa's mom for a moment, even if she ngeyel not to sleep ,or get up early to meet and talk to Alisa before the mom she calls the sister goes in the morning and comes home at night when the kids are asleep and not yet awake .

She remembers the time when she once hated Alisa, she who always attached great importance to her career, she who was always busy doing business and her stady ,Alisa really did not try to get close to Rendra even felt Alisa who was sad when hugging her and believing herself was a wound in alisa's life ,even when meeting during school holidays as if there is a wide distance between the two Rendra feels he is just a thorn in the flesh in Alisa's life ,she is increasingly convinced and confident by seeing reality and matching the events in each day, she knows Alisa who since her birth she chose to continue her studies , in contrast to other mothers who care for and are always beside their sons, while at that time Rendra was cared for by Oma and her opa which he calls mama papa also now.

As time goes by, Rendra was very remembered when Alisa chose to continue her lecture after Alisa was busy at the koas hospital for so long, even though she knew the term was only when she grew up ,Rendra also remembered when her mother decided to go abroad and study away from her she became increasingly convinced that Alisa just wanted to be away from her so she chose to go abroad and continue her busy life ,he who was always rebellious at that time also felt lost, he wanted to stop it but he was prestige, getting angry the more angry his heart and even believe that he was an unwanted child , ' he said ,he also said and expressed his dissatisfaction with his mother he let out his dissatisfaction, anger disappointment at that time to Oma and her opa, but the two parents always said.

" her mama loves you very much dear, even Alisa who is chuckling and convinces us her parents to keep you without your father, mama you want to fight raising you yourself, she said,he'll prove he'll be a successful man, his son won't lack anything, that's your mama's promise when he hears you're in your mama's belly baby ,Alisa did it for her son, which is you dear" , opa and her Oma .

Rendra couldn't accept it back then, she was so angry that she even locked the door to Alisa's room and brutally ravaged her mama's room ,she really does not accept and does not want to understand the woman who gave birth to her with all her reasons, which she knows she was never cared for by her mother Alisa .

until the top of her he was curious about the small drawer in her mama's room, finally Rendra was bravely opened by force and immediately took out all the contents of the small drawer in the room , he saw an old photo, and the stuff that was not valuable to him, 'Rendra was even interested in a book, he said,yes and it turns out it is a diary that looks faded like nothing new that is none other than his mama's .Rendra who is still 6 years old was soon reading his, at his age he was very intelligent even can know and understand the contents of the diary ,that's when she knew that her mind and understanding were wrong, her mom was very fond of her even willing to contain without the assistance of her husband because of his affection with her ,but in another corner he could not accept his mother's attitude really .

In the past he still thought his mama always never cared about him , he only needed closeness , affection by giving him a warm hug and time together , he really did not need possessions and luxury , ' ' ' he really did not need ,at that time he read the book even though with a turbulent feeling and still harboring anger he continued reading it, reading it, he was very hit and to accept the fact his heart was very sick ,but he continued reading it, and continued reading until his heart was torn even more pain even the pain was still there until now, since that time he chose to call his mother's brother, brother ,she can be her little sister when it can make her forget the past and bring her closer to her mama, that's her little thought ,he also realized that what he considered bitter when he was a child was more bitter and suffered from his mama, and as time passed and his maturity grew he realized his mama was very dear to him ,even love her too much, it's just something that makes her unable to get close to her , but as the relationship goes on they can finally be close yes although only more often Rendra who seduces her mama by calling her sister, and Alisa will burst out angry ,for him it does not matter if it is considered a child who is ignorant and annoying as long as he can joke and close to mama Alisa it is enough for her .