90 Days Pursuing My Husband's Love
About Children (Chapter 75)
As the days passed, my married life went on better. No more interference from outsiders, including Viona. I don't know where that woman went, which I obviously never heard from her again.
Five months of difficult marriage I and Andreas walked. As people say, it's still corn. However, it feels like we have been married for so long. Maybe because we already knew each other first, until now there has almost never been a debate between the two of us. Only, there was one thing that always stuck in my heart.
Married five months, but not yet given a baby. Things like this happen a lot around me. Let alone five months, there are even other couples who even have to wait years to finally cuddle a baby. Especially my best friend, Merry is also now pregnant.
'Don't be asked how happy Merry is, because happiness is certainly not interchangeable with anything.'
Viona is also pregnant. Then why am I different? Why can't I get pregnant. It always bothers me. Not to mention how Andreas feels. I'm sure she certainly wants to be able to hold a baby. But, what my day is because none of that will ever happen.
Many questions and especially the advice that was addressed to me. I simply accepted it with a smile, answered the questions patiently, and responded to the advice openly. But do people know how I really feel?
Today, I sat down for lunch at the Merry teahouse, and accidentally heard three young mothers talk about giving birth. One of them was looking like she was pregnant.
"Well, if I used to be normal. My baby weighs 3.55 kilos, it's 52 centimeters long. Not complicated kok birth," said a young mother first.
"Well! Very good for his son. I at that time was also smooth and not complicated birth. Just my son weighs 2.8 kilos" the second young mother chimed in.
"So that woman was great. Especially those who have been pregnant and given birth, they are perfect. Women who have never been pregnant and given birth are not perfect women" overwritten other young mothers.
'If only God had given me a chance to feel that way. I am an imperfect woman, I said in my heart.
While pensive, Merry came with a tray of drinks and bread for my lunch.
"What's wrong with you? Lately I've seen you daydream?" Merry asked as she sat slowly in front of me.
Merry's increasingly bulging stomach, making his movements become increasingly limited.
"I'm an imperfect woman, Mer." I said while sipping green tea made by Merry.
"Speak what the hell you are." Merry then swept her gaze around the room and looked at the three young mothers. And one of them looked like she was pregnant.
Merry seemed to realize, that my eyes were fixed on the three of them.
"Why can you say that?" Merry asked with a calm face.
"Because I'll never be able to get pregnant and feel what it's like to give birth." My answer.
Merry seemed to sigh and gently rubbed the back of my hand.
"There are those who dare to say, 'the woman who never conceives and gives birth is not a perfect woman'. Our oral should be more guarded. To newlyweds and old brides who have not been awarded a pregnancy, we do not need to ask, 'when have a baby?' It was the same as asking, 'when does the sun rise from the west?' Only God knows the answer." Merry said in a loud voice.
The three young mothers looked towards the two of us.
"Velicia. Know that every woman is perfect, with all the destinies God has laid out for her. It is great for women who can patiently give birth and exclusive breastfeeding. However, women who can be patient waiting for years of pregnancy that never arrived is also no less great. Including women who were convicted of not being able to get pregnant. Imagine, what kind of patience is owned by women who have been married for a dozen years but do not also get strip 2 on a pregnancy test kit. While young couples who are newly married, sometimes already giving news of pregnancy. You have to be patient, and don't give up. Did your in-laws ask about pregnancy?" Ask Merry again.
I can only answer with my head. Honestly, the feeling of despair is almost whack, the feeling of boredom is asked when the baby has rusted in the ears, the feeling of envy towards the birth of a baby, has finally gone numb. Only God is the focus of my heart and my restlessness.
I could only smile, I confirmed Merry. Indeed, all this time both Andreas and Mama never talked about it. It's just, I'm the one who feels bad.
After that conversation with Merry. By night, my husband had finished his bath. I sat on the couch in the room with two warm brown glasses on the table. Andreas then walked towards me wearing his white t-shirt and shorts. He looks so handsome. He sat next to me and put on a glass of warm chocolate that I made with a dose that always fits on his tongue.
"What's wrong?" Ask Andreas. "Sounds like there's something you want to tell me." Further.
"I'm sorry I can't give you offspring. I'm sorry for being at the root of a problem that might cause you to get our family and friends to mock. I'm sorry for this useless one." My speech.
"Speak what the hell you are." Reply Andreas with the look on his face that looks not like my words.
"If I do anything to get my baby, it will never work. Because I could never have received such a gift. I don't feel worthy to be your life partner." Saying again.
"Darling, I love you so much. I love you, and always will. I know, you want a baby. I know, you miss the laughter of the little boy in this house. I know, you want to be just like any other woman. Can feel pregnant and give birth. But, I've been saying that to you since the beginning before we got married. Me and all the family know about your condition. So, no one will ask you about pregnancy. By marrying you, I feel very happy. And I never asked you to give me a child. I demand love from you. That'sthat's all. So love me with all your heart. Eliminate all feelings of guilt about having children. Because I love you for who you are." Andreas said at length and hugged me.
I returned his embrace tightly. I am indeed not a woman as hard as a rock that always stands strong when hit by the waves. I have suffered a lot that I have been through. However, this feeling of wanting to have children is what makes me a weak human being. But not anymore. I'll cover all my ears about what people say about pregnancy. My first priority is my happiness and also the husband who loves me so much.
"I love you." I said to Andreas.
"You also know that I love you more." Then slowly began to kiss my lips.
Tonight, I pour all my love and affection on my husband without the burden of a mind that wants the presence of a baby. I served him with all the love I had. Until he could fall asleep with a smile etched on his lips.
'Andrew, thank you. I love you.'
Seriate.....
Hi everybody....
How are you doing? 😊😊
Sorry yes, lately, so rarely upload. Because there's a lot of activity in the real world... 😁😁
May you still be faithful by waiting for the update of this novel. Thank you very much for all your support... 🥰🥰
Yesterday, on November 16th, Author celebrated its anniversary. Someone wants to say or pray... 🤭🤭
May we all stay healthy and be given a long life... Aami... 🙏🙏
Greetings dear, dear,
La-rayya
