90 Days Pursuing My Husband's Love

Receive Destiny (Chapter 42)

After that incident I no longer contacted Andreas. My life's fucked up. I'm ashamed, even to get out of the house I don't think I can anymore. I was afraid I would meet Andreas.

What am I supposed to say?

How do I explain everything?

Is this really my destiny?

God doesn't seem to allow me to be happy. So much sadness I have been through. I'm tired, I'm tired of complaining.

Does God not get tired of hearing my complaints?

First I had to lose both my parents, while I still needed their affection. I met a man who made me feel comfortable, protected after the departure of my parents. But he went and came back with a different person.

Turns out I was wrong. I spent 3 years as his wife. He's not the one I loved before. God never allowed me to live happily. God gave me a disease that almost took my soul. God gave me a chance to live again.

I was able to meet the right people and it turned out that we both loved each other. However, God returned to my destiny to lose my happiness and now I have given up. I'm tired, I'm resigned.

For two days I stayed home alone. I sat on the balcony in front of my room. It was getting late, since this morning I had not moved from my seat. My skin has been flushed from the sun since this morning.

The sound of a cell phone ripples my daydream. Merry's name was on my phone screen. I quickly answered the call.

"Hello Mer how are you?" My toot.

"I'm good how are you?" Merry asked back.

"I'm fine." My answer.

"I'll be back in two days. I hope you'll see me at my tea shop." Say Merry again

"Of course." answered me.

"Oh yeah, how's your relationship with Andreas? Have you talked about marriage?" Merry asked with a slightly seductive voice.

Merry's question made my heart hurt again. I was silent not knowing what to answer. I can only sigh.

"Hey why are you quiet? Are you guys fighting?"

Of course, Merry must have known something was stirring in my heart. Who else can understand me as well as he does.

"No." Answer me lying. "You better have fun don't think about me." Continue me.

"Of course I'll always think of you. You're my best friend." Reply Merry.

"I know but now you're on your honeymoon. So, it's better to just focus on Hansen. Don't think too much of me. I'll be fine." My speech.

"Alright, take care of your health. Wait for me, we'll meet soon. I miss you." Reply Merry.

Phone connection disconnected. Merry and Hansen are currently on their honeymoon at the place where Hansen has been living.

I can't possibly tell my problems to the happy Merry. Enjoying her beautiful days as a newlywed. I don't want to burden Merry with the problems I'm having.

I'll keep everything to myself and I don't have to tell anyone anymore. Because this matter is a very embarrassing thing for me if it is known by others.

The sun was getting hotter, as my hungry stomach rushed towards the kitchen to cook something. When I opened the fridge, there was no food left.

How is this I have to get out of the house?

If I don't leave the house, I don't have anything else to cook.

I decided to leave the house wearing sunglasses and a mask. I quickly headed to the supermarket to shop for daily necessities. I was so scared to be recognized by Arnold and Andreas. After I finished shopping, I rushed home.

However, in the middle of the road I suddenly remembered Mama and Papa. I turned around to go to Mama and Papa's tomb.

Arriving there I immediately poured out all my heart in front of the navel of the two parents who I loved so much.

"Ma, Mum. I'm coming again. This time with deepening pain. I'm sorry, I didn't bring any flowers or anything. I'm in a mess. If I could, I would like to end my life. It'd be better to be with Mama and Papa." I said so full of stuff.

"Ma, Mum. Did God tell me to never be happy? God took Mom and Dad first. And after you are gone, endless trouble comes to me. I'm tired Ma, Pa. What am I supposed to do? Or I am, indeed a man so bad that he does not deserve to be pitied by God. Until God gave me so many trials."

I cried so much, it was painful to imagine all my life this was always a lot of suffering that I experienced.

The hunger that was there, immediately disappeared just like that when I had vaped everything on the navel of Mama and Papa. If anyone saw, I would have thought I was depressed from hugging Mama and Papa's belly button in turn.

After complaining, I began to rise. And walk out of the cemetery. A black-clothed grandfather called me to approach him at the entrance of the burial place.

"Grandfather, you come here often and cry every time you sit in that tomb. Those are your parents, right?" Ask Grandpa whose hair is white.

I nodded with tears still flowing.

"Let's sit there." Said the Grandfather pointing at a saung that was outside the fence of the cemetery area.

I just walked behind Grandpa. I don't know why I could just trust him. Because I saw from the look on Grandpa's face it was so shady. His eyes made me calm.

We then sat in a saung directly opposite the paved road. Sometimes there is a car that passes through this small saung.

"I'm sorry, Grandpa overheard you crying at the tomb." Said the grandfather.

I lowered my head and thought, This grandfather must be laughing at me.

"Sometimes we have a hard time accepting the fate that befalls us, especially if the destiny is in the form of difficulties or failures. Something we don't expect to happen to us. Something that our understanding doesn't seem to be good for us. At that time, we often forget, God is the Creator of destiny. Our Creator must know better what is best for His creation. We forget, God has promised, God is Most Merciful and Most Merciful. God will not give His servants more tests than they can."

Grandpa's words made me sob even more, my chest tightened. I always blamed God for the fate He gave me.

The grandfather stroked my head gently.

"When a person accepts the fate that befalls him, accepts God's provision of him, he will sincerely and willingly accept whatever God decides to him unconditionally, without any conditions, and consider it as something of kindness or trials that need to be faced.

God's will to us is an event that has been ongoing, inevitable, and unknown before. All the good and evil of what befalls us, all from the side of the Almighty God. No one can escape His mercy and the accidents He inflicts on anyone. So learn to accept the fate that befalls us, and never blame God for what has happened. Because behind it all, God must have prepared a happiness that you will never think as long as you are kind and sincerely accept all the destiny that He gave you…"

********

I just found out, it turns out that Grandpa was a tomb guard. He told me that all this time always noticed me who often came and always cried in the navel of my parents.

Before leaving earlier, I had given him some money as my gratitude for taking good care of Mama and Papa's tomb. At first he refused, but I insisted and put the note in the pocket of the shirt he was wearing.

I was in the car feeling much calmer. Grandpa's words made me better. I should be thankful for the life God gave me. Not even down with the circumstances that have happened to me.

This time, I have to be excited...

Seriate.....