Not Same Again

Happy and scared at once

🌺 hem... 🌺

* * *

Cecilia left without a word.

'' were you the one who suggested that to her ?'' ask Bian to Nana . Shortly after her brother came out of the room they occupied.

Nana nodded . He did not deny it because it was true that he had suggested that Han step down . Because he did not want to see Han begging for something that could make him lose his pride.

'' why Nana ? Is running away always the best option you think ? ''

Nana looked at him. Why should Bian relate this to bringing up the past problems. Mistakes that he does not want to remember especially must be revealed.

...

'' I'm sorry, I didn't mean to - the detached Bian realized his speech mistake.

He approached , sitting in front of Nana who had been accompanying Dion since watching television.

'' if yes, why ?

Isn't that a very effective way ? ''

'' dear ''

'' you are right. For me, running away at that time was the best option. Although I regret it now.

But if I don't run away, your mom and I may never change.

And you're not necessarily aware of your insensitivity either.

Then Han.

You think, after she found out that you never really put your real trust in her 'do you think she can still work and act like normal ? ''

'' ... ''

'' Han and I know, the reason why you've been nice to her all this time is because you feel indebted.

Not because you trust him.

And Han is not comfortable with that ''

'' Nana.. ''

'' looks like we talked about Ha. I'mtired.

Besides, now you can breathe a sigh of relief, because Han and Cecil's problems are finished as you expected ''

Bian sighed. Is this really what he wants ?

Yesterday he hoped so.

But when it really happened, why did it feel so uncomfortable like this ?

Why does he feel guilty like this ?

* * *

Days change.

Han's not coming in anymore.

It seems like he will never come to work again.

This forced Bian to stay longer and not know when to return to the capital.

'' Bi ''' said Cecilia to her sister who just finished meeting with the DSL chiefs.

In an emergency meeting held suddenly earlier, Bian conveyed to the heads of section , if for a while they will work more extra . Until he finds a replacement to fill Han's position.

Bian smiled thinly.

Just like Han. Cecilia no longer seems to intend to work.

Bian resigned. DSL Bandung will be his responsibility again. And that means time with his wife's child will be reduced because he will often go back and forth out of town again.

Luckily DSL in some other cities does not demand should always be visited .

In a year , only two or three times he will visit one by one DSL in other major cities.

'' I'm not going back to Canada ''

Bian stood up from his seat, then walked over to Cecilia who was standing opposite his desk.

'' I have decided. I'll go see him and I'll tell him I'll take his notice.

I don't care what you or anyone else thinks.

I will just follow what my heart wants.

And I want him. I want to trust him too ''

Bian came closer and wiped away the tears that flowed from both of his eyes.

Bian smiled and looked at her lovingly, then hugged her .

'' if that's your heart and that's what you think is best, then go.

I'll have Mr. Tole take you to his house ''

Cecilia. Didn't think it would be this easy to knock Bian out.

Or he had forgotten. If his sister is a typical one who can't impose his will.

* * *

It had been three hours Cecilia waited in front of Han's house.

He who sat in the car seemed agitated by continuing to look at the house whose door was tightly closed.

Mr. Tole was told to go there to check the condition of the house.

Like someone who will be visiting, Mr. Tole also knocked on the door several times.

But there is absolutely no answer. Which indicates if the occupants are not there.

Unheartened. Cecilia decided to wait. Even if he doesn't know when.

'' non. Non. Non Cecil called Mr. Tole many times, trying to resuscitate the sleeping Cecilia.

'' engh yes sir Cecilia said with half-opened eyes.

'' that's it, Non.

A new motorbike is coming.

Aden Han's rich ''

Cecilia instantly widened her eyes and straightened her seat.

Viewed terrace that was empty, now parked a motorbike . His smile instantly flashed with both eyes full of twinkle of hope.

' cklek' the door opened.

'' need to be accompanied, No Non ? '' bargain Mr. Tole when both feet Cecilia has stepped on the ground.

'' ghak need to phak ''

Eagerly Cecilia sped up her pace.

' tok. tok. '

'' yes, who is it ? '' the voice of the woman from inside.

' deg ' Cecilia gasped at the sound she had heard for the first time.

Especially when the door is opened by a woman.

" uh, is there a bule ? " Ratih noticed this figure of a foreign woman standing before him.

" well, if he doesn't talk about what's the answer ? " Ratih. He then remembered if he had experienced similar events.

'' sorry, ibhu.. apha is this right Han house ? '' Cecilia tried to make small talk politely.

" uh, can speak Indonesian apparently "

Train smiled with relief.

Butbut wait. He said Han, right ?

The Johan means ?

" non bule nyari Han ? "

Cecilia nodded quickly

" Johan ? " ask again to make sure if indeed the child is what the bule woman is looking for.

Cecilia nodded back.

" excuse me, but who is this non bule? What is it gonna take for my son? "

" child ? owgh, is she Han's mother ? "

" eng. shaya shatu khakaan Han, ibhu "

'' oh, don't-don't this non bule his sister-in-law Nana is yes ? ''

Cecilia nodded.

But just reviewing a smile, suddenly something seeped in his mind and made his smile slowly recede.

" mother Han knows who I am ? "

Cecilia shook her head inwardly. Because that's not what he should be worried about.

She was sure Han's mother would know that Han used to like Nana.

Then what will the response be like when you know if Han now likes him who is the sister of Nana's husband ?

Complicated. Complicated.

Cecilia became anxious to imagine that she would get a rejection later.

Alright. Whatever it is, think about it later. Now I have to focus on Han.

'' come on non bule, please enter Ratih let her in .

The batik woman turned around and demanded that Cecilia step into a simple house that she now only occupies with her eldest child.

'' a minute, yeah. I call Si Johan.

Another shower . Maybe now I'm done ''

said Ratih who then went inside.

Cecilia was left alone for a long time.

Less than fifteen minutes . Waiting time that makes him feel more and more dag.dig.dug.

Many times he tried to take a breath, trying to neutralize the nervousness that was enveloping his feeling.

Until the sound of blocking curtains between the rooms sounded busy and appeared the figure he had been waiting for since .

Cecilia's lips are automatically attracted to carve a smile . But it slowly receded when it saw Han's flat face.

Han looked at her for a moment. He turned her away as he walked up to her.

Han sat in the single seat opposite to him.

'' Han ''

'' what need are you here for ?'' ask Han cetus.

Cecilia jerks.

Before, Han had never behaved like this to her. Not just feeling in the middle. The question that had come out of Han's mouth was rude. Affirming that his arrival was not at all desirable.

Cecilia bowed lethargic.

It seemed like Han really intended to close the door of the heart for her. Then it was a waste that he came.

Cecilia's getting drowned.

'' sorry, Han Cecilia said in a soft voice.

Han really can't. But he remembered Nana's words yesterday . Therefore he immediately reminded himself if he had to be firm if he really wanted to be trusted.

It was not wrong he heard and followed what his best friend suggested yesterday.

'' sorry for what ? ''

'' un-to... '' Cecilia was confused by herself.

" yes, yeah. Why am I apologizing? " Inner Cecilia, trying to think what she should do or say to express the purpose of her coming.

Han just noticed Cecilia's misguided attitude that started to lure him to smile. If only there were only the two of them at home, maybe he had cecilia as yesterday. Then do what was delayed yesterday.

But that desire he had to endure. Because he wanted to see where he managed to conquer this woman in front of him.

Be quiet for a while.

Han just let Cecilia who still looks confused.

He seemed to enjoy the expression of Cecilia who sometimes blinked quickly.

Sometimes they seem to breathe. And also nibbled the corners of his lips.

'' alright. Get to the point.

What was your real purpose in coming here ? ''

'' ak-akhu wants khamu ''

" want me ? mean ? "

" yes, want your. Masha khamu ghak ngherti "he said half muttering.

" if you're not saying it clearly, how can I understand ! " Han is still pretending to be indifferent .

Cecilia held her head up and looked at him.

He saw that Han still saw it as if he was caught off guard.

Cecilia felt her skin hot, her eyes sore from barely blinking as it held onto something that wanted to spill.

And he quickly turned his face away .

Yet futile.

Her tears fell as well.

Slowly clear granules flowed from both of his eye pellets .

Cecilia. But again the tears again wet his smooth cheeks.

Han wails. He can no longer hold back.

He moved to sit next to Cecilia.

He grabbed Cecilia's hands and clasped them.

Making the woman's cry even more so.

'' Cecil ''

The one called his name was still facing the other direction.

'' explain to me . You said you wanted me, that means 'want' how ? ''

Cecilia flinching.

" want to pull a stick with me, apparently? All right if it wants you "Han then open his palm and pull his hand.

Cecilia turned around to look at him.

He looked at Han cynically. I don't like it because I feel played.

Cecilia then grabbed the two hands that had been holding her, and now turned around she was holding it.

Han chuckled.

" the basis "

Han pulled out one hand, while the other one he let remain in Cecilia's palm.

Then with that hand, he rubbed both cheeks of Cecilia alternately gently .

" i love you, Cecilia "

" me to "

" do you really believe me now ? "

Cecilia nodded. Her tears escaped again and Han wiped them off.

" then, will you marry me ? "

" ... "

Cecilia took off her grasp. His face turned soft. He did not know what to say because this was beyond his prediction.

" why ? Do you still doubt me ? ''

'' buk-bukhan begithu just sajha this isn't there too much of a rush ? '' Cecilia nodded.

Han looked at her.

'' we've been working together for a year. I think that's enough time for us to get to know each other.

My age is no longer the time to date. And I also don't intend to be in a relationship if it's just a lover.

I want someone to fill my daily life from morning to night.

I want someone to accompany me to my night's sleep.

And I want to share all the flavors with her ''

'' it-ihu can't khita do thanpa have to get married ? ''

Han shook his head.

'' sorry, but I can't.

And I won't force you either ''

'' thap-thapi Han.married ithu bukhan ghampang case.

Bhagimana with kheluargha khita ? ''

'' my mother knew . Before coming out to see you, I briefly explained it ''

''... ''

'' mom doesn't mind and will respect whatever will be my decision ''

Ratih emerged from behind the curtain with a tray containing three cups of warm tea and fried bananas made.

Ratih spread a smile at the two lovebirds sitting in front of him.

After putting the tray on the table, he sat down .

'' so, how 'bout ? So you have a bule's ghost ? '' Ratih smiled sumringah at the child and the woman whom he considered to be the future ghost.

Cecilia is unable to speak. All his worries evaporated right then and there. He looked at Han.

The man returned his gaze while nodding.

Cecilia was confused. What decision should he make.

One side he was happy. On the other hand, he was very scared.

It's good that he and Han are not over.

But the matter of getting married is not something that can be easily decided.

However, he had to think about it first and talk about it to his family .

And most of all, he will ask for Bian's opinion .