Not Same Again

Misguided

6 months later...

...There will be things we will miss as we go through life. Things we didn't know at the time. And we just found out now....

Jeno Pov's

There are a lot of things I want to replay. There are many ways that I have prepared to fix it if it may happen again.

But the law is always on track. Regret always comes at the end. That regret is what I am experiencing right now.

Sorry for not appreciating his existence.

Regretting for never once gave him a chance to know a few things.

Regretting that he had repeatedly given up on making things come back good but there was never a chance for him. And regretted for if, if and if all had happened. Maybe he won't go.

Regretting for making the wound too deep for him. Until he got back to training, he was not able to do it.

I know, he's so sick and probably so sick. Both the injuries from his friends, his brother, his family and even the injuries I inflicted left him with deeper wounds.

My biggest mistake was delaying the time to go back and turn to her. That's what I often regret.

Sorry See, even to try to find you, I can't afford. I don't even have any information. Is it worth it to expect you to come back again?

I spent the last few months with regret. Skinny and unkempt body, not to the office for a few months. And maybe I have no intention of living anymore.

I was even bored from the screams of Bayu and Leo saw my current state.

Like "Yak Jeno! Are you going to die? Or "Say it if you just keep torturing yourself like this. And there's so much more they say in front of me.

There have been many people I have contacted to find out his whereabouts but until this moment there is no point at all.

I went to Sena's house many times to meet Ivan and ask him. But even to this day he never wanted to see me.

The phone rang out from the corner of Jeno's room table.

Ivan'is....

Before I lift up. I was a little surprised when I saw the name on my phone.

I quickly grabbed my phone and swiped the green button.

"Hello"

"But! Come meet!" He said after a breath that sounded clear in my ear at this time.

"Gue to the house now!" I got up and looked for my jacket and car keys.

"Let's meet at cafe X. I'm going there now!" He ended the call.

With lightning speed I was even in the car and ready to plunge the gas to the destination.

Arriving there....

I can see Ivan in his college suit. What I'm expecting is maybe he's new from college and coming straight here.

"Hi, sorry I'm late!" I took my place in front of him.

"Oh, bang Jeno! Please!" Ivan smiled flatly.

"What do you want to eat? Let me do the deal!" Smiling exciting.

"Foolah. I also ordered a drink!" I told the waiter. "How are you doing, Lo?" Ask pleasantries.

"As you can see! Lo himself!" Ivan slightly stared a little longer at the figure in front of him now.

"Ah, I'm like this too. Okay maybe! College okay?" Ask again.

"Wait for the exam schedule for the thesis bang!" Ivan sipped his drink.

"Good indeed. Then a little more dong!" Answer smiled.

"Why have you been doing this all this time?" Ivan slightly looked at each side of the figure in front of him.

"Well, I haven't worked in months." I'm hanging.

"Ah, yes! I have been wanting to see Lo Bang for a long time! It's just been busy lately" said Ivan hanging.

"Gue knows I'm a little selfish about him. Because I didn't want to be too late, I decided to meet. I finally realized, we need to talk bang!" Ivan looked straight.

"Lo's right. I also need to see you for this straightenin!" I waited for his words.

"He's gone. After trying to give a last chance to some people. He looked so tired at the time. If I remember, I feel like crying. He decided to leave the day after Bang Jeno met Leo's sister at that time. Why would I know, because I heard all your talk at the cafe at the time.

I was a little sad, when I heard the fact that everything you did was just to keep him safe but seemed futile.

He went to Los Angeles that time,,,

She looks like she's forcing herself to be happy because she's about to meet her Papa. But something happened out of his control. He was not accepted and maybe the relationship between father and son, until now is no longer good according to my estimates.

That night, he called me, and told me he was falling again...

Yes, Om Reza kicked him out the night he first met him.

He once told me "When we let go of some people who didn't really expect us to exist, we were the winners.

We lose those who don't love us too much, while they lose those who love them so much." At that time, I just imagined how the remaining memories with him to be recorded properly. He may not come back easily or quickly.

"It turns out that our meeting passed that night and his thanks was the farewell he said!" I'm lirih.

"Live well from now on. I didn't come here to talk about how we could meet him.

But, I'm here to tell you lo bang, please leave him alone for this time only. He was too sick and fell too deep.

His past continues to take away his happiness, if you come back and enter his life again. I know you're still expecting him, but he also needs a bang. Let him freely express himself.

Then it's time he'll come back by himself." Ivan said a little firmly.

"But there's no chance for me just once! I don't just want to see him Van.

"Even its existence we do not know bang! And I beg you lo bang, please do not try to look for it again. He's too tired. Let it go this time.

Sometimes we need to reflect back on the past, how life treats us. He's too good to be hurt actually. But why should he live in the midst of people like them. I know you love him. I know you want to meet him. Let your love now go deeper and more understand the feeling of lo bang. You are adults, it is time to choose your own path. If he does, he will come back by himself. I believe in bang!" Ivan said expectantly.

"Lo's right. I have to improve myself even better for the future. He needs time too. I realized he was too sick from time to time. So, let's choose each of these paths!" I said that in the end I smacked Ivan's shoulder softly and smiled.

"At the end of the day, we will choose our own path of choice while improving ourselves in preparing everything for what will be and coming to see us in the future. Wherever you are now, you will remain the only queen in my heart. No one will be able to keep you going from time to time. Thank you for so much and so much experience that you have sacrificed for me. I realize now, I've fallen too deep into you. I'm not going anywhere, I'm going to stay either you go home or I'm not obviously going to wait!" Inner Jeno

^^^_06 Des. 2021^^