Not Same Again

Choked

Stayed away by someone without

pamit feels tired, confused, all wrong itself, because it seems as if there are so many unanswered questions while the owner of the answer has gone_Anonymous.

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Until it eventually causes overthinking and ends up beating yourself up. And in the end, you don't have the confidence to know new people anymore.

Tired of finding answers that have no answers, everything feels like an unresolved puzzle.

One Week This is,,,

Don't ask Jeno everyday this week. What is clear is that he just spends his time back and forth to Sena's house. I don't know what makes him so strong now. What is clear is that the peak of his longing is no longer held back.

He really wanted to meet and hug her now, he wanted to explain everything. He wanted to express his great love for her.

To him, there was no more happiness than to meet him and have him. Finally he realized, after someone could hardly be reached again only he knew exactly how he felt.

But a sentence he heard from his sister's speech just now, able to make him feel a little tight and stop breathing for a moment. What he just heard was true. He re-assured again.

"Free, because he's not here!" Ivan said in the end with a voice weakened without hope.

And that answer made me stop breathing for a moment. And trying to understand the meaning of his words just now.

"Then, Sena where???" I turned around to ask for an answer. However, Ivan was not even seen anymore. I went straight to the top floor where I used to come here.

Right in front of the room that read his name, I knocked with a little impatience.

"Iwane!  Don't play me. I need to know about Sena. I love him, I love him if you forget. Yes I was selfish still expecting him when I decided to leave. But then I suffered enough in return.

I am not living up to my wishes. For some time now, I have spent only on regrets. I try to protect him when I can't even reach his imagination. I can only look at him far away when I miss him. See for yourself how I. And you know my own asshole. But I love your brother. Tell me where is he?" I shouted a little while banging on Ivan's door.

After a few minutes...

"Please don't bother me bang. Turn around, he's not here. And don't let me because I don't know either!" Ivan closed the door again.

I ended up leaving the house after asking Auntie Im. They only knew that Sena had not been here for a long time.

If so, then this week what am I doing here?

Yes, I cried too in the end.

I regret that I was given a lot of time and opportunities but I didn't use them well. I have to look for him where else. Not even his family knows where he is now.

I'm sure after this life I don't know what it's going to be like. Without it. He's home for me to go home to, but yet the house it's inhabited has collapsed and disappeared without a trace.

"Yesaaa!!!! Sorry me!!" My screams in tears tonight plus the heavy rain are very supportive of my mood right now.

"Jeno! Lo crazy? Why are you kayak gini?" shouted the unheeded Bayu.

"He's gone! He is no more!" Jeno whimpered without a sound anymore.

"He who? Who's going huh?" Bayu slightly shouted in the rain because he felt quite confused.

"I'm on! With me, it's gone! I'm stupid! I'm the dumbest person ever! Many times he gave me a chance but I ended up always in vain.

He has left me!

He really is gone! I have to what?" Isak Jeno in her tears.

"Calm down first. Calm your mind. We're going home now. Arriving at the new house we rethink okay!" Bayu who had carried his best friend to the car.

The body that was soaked, by continuing to concoct the name of Sena from the trip to the house was not exhausted. He seemed so sorry for everything that had happened.

"It's so hard to see Jen! You understand your own choices and decisions you've made over the years." Sayu saw miris towards her friend who was lying down because of fever due to rain.

"Senaa! I'm sorry!" jeno again.

While elsewhere....

"Gue knew the end would indeed be like this. But where the hell are you, brother? You should know how bang Jeno is. He's back and trying to find you." Ivan glared at the night sky through the balcony of his room.

"Gue wants to see you too! Almost a year ago, there was no news! How are you now? Are you all right? Why don't you ever call Ivan again. Is it because I'm just your foster brother?

I miss the same lo. I miss our time which may not be so long.

I know, brother, you need time. I know you need healing for everything that's happened to you in the past. I hope you won't forget me!" Ivan went back in his room and sobbed.

^^^^_13 Nov. 2021^^^