Not Same Again

Baffled

... .o0o....

From some people take the view that departure is a teaching that coming and going is only a presence, there is no need to deepen it too long because the meeting does not always end at the first meeting.

There is no need to rush in to lose the trust and accept that comes with the usual welcome because in the end we will experience a loss in who goes and it has an impact once about the taste.

And it's true some just stop by and go back.

Because sometimes we are just real objects that feel mirage, so why continue to pursue if we get always the same.

"Sorry I can come now! I know I'm a lot busy that I don't know what I've been doing and what I've been doing all this time?

Still holding out my every memory of you. If only I might have found myself laughing, smiling and even happy, it was all because I was trying to get back in front of so many of them, I still feel the same way not really sincere, not yet able to take it well.

You are too good to forget. You are too good to let go and even your goodness and existence still no one is able to rival it.

I have a lot I want to say, but I'm sure you already know and see a lot of things happening to me.

I feel weak in a weird corner Ma!

Yes, I understand this is a cycle in life. I also know everyone must be experiencing the lowest point in life. I want to cry hard! I want to be a little selfish and assume everything is mine for a second.  So that I can be relieved and come back well.

I want to stop pretending and forget everything. I can what?

Mama! If the day I choose to give up what will happen next?" said Sena next to the mother's grave.

"Until now See, still confused what has happened with Mama at that time?

Is Mama tired too?

Did mom give up too?

Or did Mama have no choice?

So sick! They're all gone and a little bit more I might as well be the same as them!

Ma! I'm probably here one last time now!

Tomorrow, the day after tomorrow maybe Sena does not know if you can still stop here or not!.

See, I'm not sure I'll be here again. Sorry Mama! I've changed a little bit and probably won't be back!

It will all end here because now I will be with Mama in every shadow, between night, day, morning and even evening I will assume Mama is and always is!" said Sena got up from her squat and was about to pass from that place.

"Goodbye to you who have been in the past, I will always remember you. And we will meet again in the path of destiny that we do not know when.  What is clear is that everything about you will never fade and will always be exposed!" sena murmured with her steps that were getting away and disappeared from the place, but besides that there was an eternal smile that was bursting so step by step getting away and passing away.

In the end we do not end up forgetting because of age, circumstances, problems, opportunities, choices and much more. But, we are only learning to accept and pass when existence has become a mere illusion in reality that is so real.

"Here, at the end of the road to where to return home. Yeah, I'm at the end of the road to the house.

And here I want to carve a momentum that I will not escape. And determine I still deserve to go home or have to travel and travel again for a long time with a distance that is getting farther.

Let's carve it out perfectly. If the answer is clear and precise I will take his decision now!"he said he pulled out his phone and called someone.

"Woah, today things are really treating me cruelly! I've been refused inhumanely in my own family company when applying for work, talking alone in the middle of a lot of graves and this is a test of patience that I will run out in the next minute" said Sena chuckling miris remembering her agenda today. He had gone to the company to apply but was forcibly evicted there which he did not understand how could it happen? Is his dad not the owner of the company anymore or anything.

"Can I guess the phone this time will be picked up!" Resolutely and call the number again.

"Hello" he said first when connected.

"Why?" Ask the guy across there.

"Heheh-do you not consider me a child anymore?" questionable speech.

" Live by doing what you want to do without getting out of bounds!" answer that guy.

"Pa! Are we this far now?" Sena was slapped with her father's words.

"alright. Not only will everything turn towards you there is a time and time it all turns around to get a little bit away!" Reza said across the street.

"Is this the answer to your many years of unrequitedness?" Ask Sena miris.

"You're an adult. You also know how life treats some people unfairly. If everything could be settled with money then it might not be like this to him!" reza said again.

"Adult? I am an adult now! That's why I dared to call you this time and ask why?" Sela Sena in her father's words.

"Don't think too hard about it! Time will answer everything. Now just enjoy the comfort you have without incriminating others" Reza said.

"I'm going to Los Angeles tomorrow! I want to meet you in person!" firmly Sena.

"Never see me!"yelled Reza across the street.

"Why?" Sena smiled slightly.

"Because it's the same. It won't bring him back to life and we'll be as happy as he used to be!" answer Reza coldly.

"When will Papa keep blaming me for his disappearance? Until when?" Shouted Sena with a clear melt already wetting her cheeks.

"Until when? Papa doesn't even know how to go ahead now! So, never meet Papa, therefore all will not be able to make Papa let go and mengikhlaskan it!" said Reza flat.

"But why?" Sena asked coldly.

"Because every look at you reminds me of him! So don't ever show up in front of Papa again! It's fine there!" reza smiled grinningly.

"Okay, okay. Thanks for the answer! With this I will not be satisfied with the same decision I made and will not be confused with what I will do!" sena said at the end.

"Yes. It should be like this. Take good care of Ivan he's the only one who exists and continues to be with you now!" reza smiled a little.

"No need to be reminded. We always take good care of each other! Thanks for closing time!" said Sena ended the call.

"Huf. This street has a story! So, let's make a good decision and pass quickly for a little long time within a countless distance!" muttered Sena smiled knotfully and walked into the house.

sept _28. 2021.