Not Same Again

Lega

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Happy Reading :)

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Going through a lot of things from joy and sorrow. Countless challenges, problems and obstacles, a life full of surprises, realizations and an endless roller coaster of emotions. Thank you for staying strong. It's not easy. Wishing a prosperous life, all dreams achieved, everyone gets a lot of happiness, positive and progressive. Also to better stay safe and healthy.

One Year Passed...

Not much has changed. Life is still as usual, college and also friends are still the same. It's just the difference that I'm now in the final stages. Filled with the business of finding lecturers, do not have time to relax and much more.

However, to this day one thing continues to be stuck in my mind, memory and even in my daily life. Papa did not come back, never came home after the last time me and Mang Edi picked him up at that time, he said he was busy. But as much as possible I think and keep thinking positively about him. Hope he's in good shape.

There are also some who continue to be a burden on my mind to this day. Rey's sister who never came back after I actually realized that I had fallen in love with her at a time I couldn't guess when.

It's true people say, you will realize that you love her after you lose her and even when she's gone and not coming back to you.

Jeno's too. After knowing everything, about the person who kept telling me to stay away from her, about her unrequited feelings, she said, about reality as he said for the last time when he met me at that time he said that love should not have.

He can make me a stranger in his life. Yeah, he's there. He's fine, it's just that he's not the old one anymore even if we cross paths and collide even now he'll still consider me non-existent.

There's a lot I don't know about him. Starting from the person who terrorized me, I don't know who did it until today. However, Jeno knew that person and chose to be quiet and not tell me anything.

And even more baffling, the terror ended on its own when I realized that everyone who loved me had left me, including Rey, Jeno and...... Papa, but I hope Papa's special has nothing to do with it.

After everything was over, I began to realize. To get peace and the best, it's okay to let go of some things, it's okay to change your mind, it's okay to talk and not talk, it's okay, it's okay to be considered non-existent, nor is it okay to go and let go.

Life is about ourselves.

We have the right to go anywhere and choose anyone. So do those who leave us. It's okay to choose and not to choose, if you really feel some things are not worth fighting for.

Do not force, we deserve and still have the right to determine.

Bringing some people into the future to be a part of our lives is no joke.

Just release. Later we will also understand why we have to experience this all now.

Mba @jessicaberliin;

The best self-healing is silence, disappearing, making peace with yourself, eating good food and then sleeping.

Maybe that's how I am now. Shut up, watch and let some people go without knowing the reason, try to be at peace with themselves and enjoy what's ahead, and that's what I'm doing right now.

In my opinion, in life we should not expect too much from the people we meet. Humans are easy to change, today we may become everything and tomorrow we will become nobody.

feeling tired until everything feels empty, and,

until we need to wake up again and come back, things are only stopping us from resting and contemplating, even though we are injured but we are still able to walk tomorrow.

It's okay to feel bad

only, the situation is only strengthening, though,

just tripping and falling does not mean giving up.

Let us not forget that we are just ordinary people, as well as them and others.

"Father, indeed at some point in life, everyone must be confused. We feel at odds with ourselves. Confused by what we like, what will be a dream and how others view us. We'll be fine" said Ivan in the end, as he may be tired of watching me spend my days uninspired. He knows very well how I am now.

And one more thing, Ivan's been living with me for the past month. He became a broken home child who ended up his parents separated and went somewhere to leave him alone. As far as I know, Ivan's custody was won by his mother but seeing him these past few months, he's been abandoned by them.

Even more poignantly Ivan did not facilitate any of the two. He was left alone living in the house next door which in fact no longer belongs to them, I don't know they might have sold it.

In essence, Ivan now had no parents anymore according to Ivan's own words.

Which child does not become ill if in fact both parents do not expect it to exist at all.

I think Ivan would do that too.

I found out all about Ivan after a heated argument between his parents that dragged Ivan to court when they were about to divorce.

I knew exactly how he was doing at the time, because I was the only one there and tried to calm him down at the time.

And now, Ivan has become part of my family. She stayed with me because I already considered her my own sister. Papa knows this, because I contacted him last month despite not having time to return, but he took care of everything just to help Ivan.

"Hm, it's true that we're going to be fine!" my answer is to relieve myself.

"What about our vacation?" ivan asked enthusiastically considering we had planned to spend one day tomorrow with a vacation somewhere good even if only a day but little or no time lag is given.

"So dong! Where are we?" ask again.

"The beach is one of the most fitting places to refresh by looking at the weather now," said Ivan.

"Come on! Agree me!" My words ended the conversation because we had gone to each other's rooms to prepare what was needed for our day off tomorrow.

In the end, that is how life is, there will be those who leave because they are not appreciated, some who leave because they feel that their existence is no longer needed.

So not everyone who goes is evil,

especially about taste. In fact, not everything we can reach and reach and embrace it. There are some that become beautiful when we can no longer see and embrace them in the consciousness of life.

_monday, 02 August 2021