Best Defense

Panic Attacks

I walked into my deserted apartment unit, and headed straight to my room. I looked at Ben, my son, curled up in his baby crib which was beginning to look smaller because of his growing body, the boy was really growing well. His sleeping peaceful face was able to relieve the tiredness I had felt since. How magical!

I stepped into the bathroom to clean myself for a while, then sat down at my dresser to polish the night cream skincare products at the beauty clinic I just got a few days ago. Appearance is now more important to me, because it is one of my capital to attract customers to entrust their appearance to my boutique.

I walked to the queen-size bed that had accompanied me for the past year, not needing a big bed because I was alone, different if I was married and married, I definitely need a bigger bed to smokedown. Smackdown? Holy hooch!

I lit an aromatherapy candle Mia recommended which she said could help relieve stress and make sleep more soundly, I did not feel it too much, but still I use because I like the aroma.

"Oh, very calming!"

I lay on my back, my memory returning to the two troublemakers. Ah, they always managed to make my day deteriorate quickly. Never a day had I passed without the presence of both of them, one or even both of them always came without me asking.

Nino, if he wasn't my son's Daddy, I would have thrown him into the ocean and let him drown long ago, he would have survived because Ben was among us. I was really uncomfortable with her presence that kept teasing me with the unfortunate whimper that came out of her mouth.

While Sean, I don't know. As hard as I threw him away, he never hurt himself and left me, clinging more and more tightly to the envelope, telling me how faithful he had been waiting for me for so many years. Who care? I mean, I never asked him to wait for me. Why should I bother replying to her feelings now?

I don't know how long my mind wandered on those two trouble makers until it finally fell asleep. I woke up to the sound of Ben's shrill cry, lazily getting up and getting out of bed.

"I'm coming, Ben!" I said while yawning, my eyes have not even opened perfectly. Kuraih Ben and brought her into my arms, we both went down to make milk in the kitchen.

"Mommy!" ben's adorable voice made me smile, I kissed his chubby cheeks while walking downstairs.

"Yes, you'll get your milk soon! You excited?" I asked, I touched his nose with my index finger. The boy laughed, he immediately forgot his cry earlier after hearing the word milk.

I took Ben back to the room and laid him in bed, and I gave him a bottle of milk and he quickly caught it. I glanced at the wall clock that showed at 3.25am, I decided not to put it back to the baby crib, I wanted to sleep with her in my arms, we both fell asleep after I changed her diaper which started full.

The little punch in my face made me wake up, I squirm, opened my eyes a little, I saw Ben's little hand ruffling my face, he purposely did it to make me open my eyes.

"I need more sleep, Ben." I begged him for understanding. Instead of understanding and allowing me to continue sleeping, he sat on my face right now. Ah, this kid!

"Mommy!" he said as he threw his diaper-lined ass over my face. Inevitably I opened my eyes and pulled him into the embrace.

"Mommy's still sleepy, Ben. Can Mommy sleep in a minute? Please.." I pleaded again, showing a clear face that I deliberately made as sad as possible.

Succeeds.

He touched my eyes, gave me a code to go back to sleep. His behavior didn't put me to sleep, I just showered his cheeks with kisses and we laughed together. Yeah, God! How happy I am to have a son like Ben! I can't imagine how great he would be when he was an adult if he was a baby.

I was about to step foot when I felt something was wrong with my body.

"Oh, ****! It's coming!" I sat back on the bed, a sense of tightness began to strike my chest.

"Miaaaa!" I screamed as loud as I could, my brain really couldn't think well. The only thing I'm worried about is Ben, someone has to take care of him now before he falls out of bed.

Mia's not coming, it's too long! Sweat began to come out all over my body, the feeling of dizziness and sighing increasingly torturous. Oh, I really can't stand it. It's worse than ever, more painful and excruciating. With great difficulty I catch my breath, but it is very difficult, my throat seems to be gagged with something. I'm really sure I'm going to die now.

"Miaaa..." I tried to scream again, my hands were now numb, I really couldn't feel anything right now. Please, anyone, please come! I can't take it anymore! All the muscles in my body hurt so much, I felt something hit my stomach so many times, without me noticing that I was slumping and falling out of bed.

I was grateful when Mia opened the door and went into the room, at least Ben survived, I thought. I saw Mia who was in shock seeing my situation, I don't know what I am now, which is obviously very bad.

"Panda, breath... breath... keep breathing...!" mia said directing. I followed him, but it was hard, very difficult.

"I can't breath... Mia, I can't breathe!" I said intermittent. I started to get scared, my brain couldn't digest anything anymore, would I die? I don't want to die now!

"Mia, I'm scared... I can't breathe..."

"Just breath, let's do it again, set your breath, Panda. It's okay, you can do it! Nobody here about us two... " I obviously heard Mia say it, but again I had trouble doing it.

My entire body continued to tremble with increasingly overwhelming sweat. As hard as I could I endured the tightness, dizziness, nausea, and choking of my neck, until I could slowly feel my breath return. I don't know how long I've had it, but today is the worst day in my history of panic attacks.

"Keep breathing, there's no one here. Just me and you.... Arrange your breath, I'm here with you..." I felt Mia rubbing my chest repeatedly.

Don't ask why Mia didn't call Mom, because I asked for it. I don't want Mom to see me when I'm like a dying man. Mia and I can cover this up from Mom as much as possible if I experience it at home. Mom saw me a few times, but not as bad as today, and I got through it well.

My panic attack was not always painful like this, sometimes I was just dizzy and trembling, never just restless, or shivering, really nothing was comforting, but I prefer the previous one over today. I was lucky enough not to experience it while I was driving, I don't know what was going to happen.

"Are you ok now?" mia's voice resuscitated me, I was still sitting on the floor, leaning against the bed.

I looked at him and Ben who was in his arms, I don't know when he was holding Ben. "Much better!" I replied weakly, my heart still pounding and my body was still trembling, though not as great as it was.

Slowly Mia helped me up to the bed, and covered my body with a blanket.

"I'll take Ben down."