Best Defense

Love is The Winner

I was trembling at her words that were somehow very painful. I shouldn't have to be distracted by her past stories. I just can't believe he's masking facts as important as this from me. He loves me but doesn't want to be open, and it hurts me. I want him to accept me as I accept him. He could have shared with me so that I could understand what the situation was, so that I could refrain from being provoked by anyone's words.

"After Ashley's pregnancy, I asked my uncle to help me get to work and he was willing. I went back to Indonesia and promised Ashley's family that I would come back to pick her up after my financial circumstances were enough to sustain our lives. The first few weeks, everything went well. We're still in the news and he's still telling us about his family." His voice is now shaking. He was trying to hold back a cry that might explode if I didn't stop him.

I wanted to move, then hugged her and said everything would be fine. But I still want to hear him talk longer. Finally I just kept quiet while biting my own lips while he continued his words.

"After some time, Ashley stopped informing me. Only Fairley, her older sister always told me about Ashley's pregnancy progress until she gave birth." Sean sniffles. My heart was pounding when I heard it, I suddenly wanted to look at his face.

"The day he gave birth, it should have been the happiest moment of my life because I was going to be a father. But that happiness doesn't last long. Because a few hours later, our son was pronounced dead because of Ashley's stupidity. He consumed large amounts of alcohol, the reason being that he was frustrated at thinking I was going to leave him, even though he himself knew I was struggling to make his life and our son comfortable."

"Then I felt like everyone was gone and I was alone. Then I found out I was worse off than when I lost mommy,"

Now I can't help but sit up, put my hair out of my face, tuck it in a frenzy behind my ears and twist myself to face it. She looked at me, a bitter smile flashed across her lips as she looked at me. And I saw relief emanating from the look in his eyes.

Then he went back on. "Sometimes, things get unbearable, the people around me don't help either. Well, they can't." He tapped his shoulders while leaning backwards. "When that happens, usually I'll take some time to be somewhere, try to handle it myself, and I decide to go back to Indonesia a few days after Ashley gives birth."

"I used to go to the campus gymnasium. The place is quiet, so no one will know if I broke one or two pieces of gym equipment on purpose." He smiled, his eyes glazed. "But that afternoon it wasn't the ball ring or the mattress I wanted to hit. I wanted to hurt myself, thinking it might help get rid of the memories that haunt me and make me feel better."

Sean paused for a moment, breathing heavily. His gaze returned to me, then he smiled weakly. I involuntarily inched closer to her as she spoke back. My heart thumped faster as I realized where the conversation was going.

"Just at that moment I heard a voice, a song more precisely. Coming from the art room that is behind the warehouse of equipment. So, I went there. It was then that I saw a girl, whom I had admired since the first time I saw her. I don't know what song he's singing, but it really captivates me, as if I can feel his soul talking to me."

"Since that day, I've been going there a lot, seeing her sing, sometimes on the guitar, and I've always watched her. His voice distracts me from bad thoughts, and I'm getting used to it. It feels like I have a private singer, because I'm the only one who sees her." His eyes glistened at me.

"Love of my life" I heard myself say.

Sean smiled at me. "Right, I just found out a long time later that it was the title of the song. Anyhow, old songs aren't my favorite."

I gulped with difficulty before speaking. "So, you're a stalker?"

She laughs. "No, Franda. I was there first." he said amusedly.

"Well, then you should show yourself to me. If at that time I knew you were making a gymnasium your private space, I would never be there again."

Sean gave me a look that made my breath stop before he spoke softly. "That's why I didn't tell you," He got up from the chair, then slowly walked up to me, then sat on the edge of the bed right in front of me.

Sean reached out and rubbed the side of my face while looking at the trail of tears that I thought made my image look like a zombie now. As I tried to pull away, he held me back with both hands each cupping my face. "Look. You're not a charity project, Franda. You're my savior. I do often act stupid and say things I shouldn't when I'm angry,"

"No, I-I overreacted" I said softly.

He shook his head firmly, his eyes radiating constancy. "You're not, and you should be angry. I'm so sorry, Franda. But I'll fix everything for you, stay by my side and let me take care of you."

We hugged for a while. I felt calmer after hearing all of Sean's explanations about Ashley, but that doesn't mean no problem will hit us in the future. Women like Ashley or Carla, who are already in power at this time, will give birth to new seeds with a variety of stories. I don't know what I'll react to when I face them again, but at least I'm sure Sean will win me back.

I gasped at the thought of something that had bothered me when I talked to Ashley. I quickly pulled my body away from Sean and pulled his head until it was in front of my chest.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he murmured in protest with my sudden movement.

I snorted in annoyance. "Be quiet, I need to make sure of something." I walked down her hair with my fingers while observing if there was a tattoo that Ashley was referring to.

As my eyes glared, I could not believe that the woman was telling the truth. On the head behind his hair-covered ears, there is the inscription 'Ashley Glams' with the font of the note santos or kalista, and the ink is somewhat faded but still readable.

In that instant I also pushed his head violently, then looked at him with a sharp look. "Why don't you get his name tattooed on your forehead?" I said cynically.

Instead of feeling guilty and apologizing, he laughed. "So, you're distracted with this?" he said calmly, as if the tattoo meant nothing to him. Maybe it is, but it still bothers me. How could she fuck me while her head clearly had another woman's name on it?

"I don't want to see that again tomorrow morning." I stabbed him with my eyes.

"Franda, getting rid of tattoos is not that easy. Where should I find a place to remove a tattoo this late?"

"I don't want to know, it's your business. It's up to you to cut your head off or what, obviously the tattoo should be gone by the time I open my eyes tomorrow. Or you'll take the consequences."

I got out of bed and walked quickly to the bathroom. I needed to do something to get rid of my frustration with her, and soaking was the answer.

"Alright, let me know again if you hear from Dave" Sean said, then cut off his phone call as I walked out of the bathroom.

I galloped towards the sofa while looking at him. The line of anger was very visible on his face. His jaw hardened, but soon changed when he turned to look at me. Suddenly he was calmer.

I dry my hair with a towel and talk, "What's wrong with Dave?"

Sean snorted, taking the time to take a deep breath before answering me. "He's embezzling the company's funds." he muttered as he pulled me to sit next to him.

I don't know how big of a problem he's facing, but it must be big enough because he looks so desperate. Sean hugged me, buried his face in my chest as if he were a little boy whining at his mother. I wanted to ask him again, but he stopped me immediately.

"I'll explain this matter to you tomorrow. Now, I'm in need of your arms to face it all."

I spontaneously threw a towel over the end of the sofa and hugged it tightly. "Everything will be fine." I muttered, sounding unsure of my own words, but that was all I could say to make her feel better.

Sean nodded at my chest. "I wish so."