Best Defense

Burdened

...Mia Queen POV's....

"Panda!" I screamed as I stepped into the palace on the clouds belonging to my brother. There's no answer.

I looked around the living room. Blank. He walked to the kitchen and found no one. There are no domestic assistants who usually gather there. Then I galloped again up the stairs that led to the second floor. And there I just saw my two nieces playing with their nanny.

"Where's Panda?" I asked Miss Darla who was collecting some pieces of lego and brought it closer in front of Ben, next to Miss Darla looked Daisy was helping Lily drink milk.

Miss Darla turned to look at me. "In his room, hasn't been out since he came home."

"Have he been home long?" ask me while putting a bag and two doughnut boxes on a round table made of glass.

"About two hours ago." replied Miss Darla. I frowned, and suddenly felt anxious. This is not my brother's habit.

I walked over to Lily and kissed her briefly, then turned to Ben and did the same to her. "I'll see your mommy for a second, Ben. Be nice." Ben nodded.

Without speaking any more, I hurriedly turned down the stairs and headed straight to his room located at the end of the corridor. Room size of a basketball court. Unfortunately, they did not put the ring there. Uuh, that would be awesome.

"Panda, I..." I was stunned as soon as I opened my brother's room door and witnessed the dire state of his room.

Instantly my heart was racing to look at the stuff that was scattering on the floor. Did the third world war just happen? Shards of glass were seen strewn around the dresser, joined by my brother's smashed-down make-up kit. The sheets and pillows landed in several places.

"Panda?" call me, almost whispering. I slowly stepped around the room while avoiding the broken glass. My eyes are staring around. "Panda?" call me again, but no answer.

Then I gasped as my ears faintly caught her crying voice from the bathroom and I quickly ran there.

If I had been quoting about the third world war, it would have been more terrible than that. In the bathroom, my sister was sitting in a shower cubicle made of glass and she was crying. His whole body shivered, while his lips began to turn blue. I grabbed a towel from inside the cabinet and went straight to him.

"Hey, what's wrong?" my murmurs wrapped the towel around his body. I helped her up and took her out of the bathroom. He didn't say anything.

I galloped towards the dressing room to pick up his clothes and then back to the edge of the bed.

"Mia... Do you hate me?" her question suddenly when I finished helping her put on clothes. "Does mom hate me? Does Ed hate me?" His trembling voice made my heart crumble.

I've seen him like this a lot and I'm sure something must have happened before he came home. The panda was in a mess, just waiting for time until he went berserk again. Whatever he experienced before coming home, it was definitely not something light. God, don't tell me she met her real mother!

Suddenly my fear grew higher when I saw her darkened gaze. Tears do not stop flowing on the cheeks until they fall into the blanket. Shit, today will not be easy to pass, even though I had imagined going to have fun with one of my sister-in-law's super car collection.

I smiled to hide my worries. "Whatchu mean? We love you, Panda." I mean it. "Why are you asking like that?"

"What's my fault, Mia? What have I done exactly? Whose life have I ruined until I got a life like this? I wasn't..."

"I just want a life that. oh, God..."

Alarm of danger marks instantly filled my head as his entire body grew trembling, his face turning pale while he tried to catch his breath. "Panda, hey, calm down. Breathe.. take a deep breath." I said frantically as I grabbed my phone from my pants pocket and called my sister-in-law.

"She's on trouble, come home ASAP!" That's all I said on the phone.

I tried again to calm my brother down, he looked so in pain as if someone was strangling him. "Mia.please." Panda pressed his chest firmly, his eyes closed tightly.

"Panda, calm down" I said trembling. "I'm here with you" I hugged him and rubbed his cheeks. "You're gonna be okay, calm yourself down, okay?"

I panicked and almost lost my mind. Believe me, even though we have often faced this, the feeling of fear still never decreases in the slightest. Every second in a moment like this always feels gripping, as if time is trying to drown us.

I spent time with him. Since birth Panda has been a brother, friend, and enemy at once. We played just before the fight, we shared before each other's personal belongings, but it never lasted long, my brother and I always found the right moment to mend our relationship.

I can't expect anything more from his presence in our family, Panda being a source of energy for us. He's screwed up, but his mess teaches us a lot about things. About patience, love, and care. We always come together to help him. Well, there were times when everything was heavy and painful, but look where we are now. We were in a good place, at least before Panda got back to messing up today.

I loved her, I didn't mean to overdo my caring, but one thing she didn't know was that I refused to marry because I was worried about her. My whole life I've spent as his friend and I can't shake my fear of his mental state.

He's my brother. I-i know him. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. He's too kind to accept life as he lives it today, really... Panda deserves something more normal. He has suffered for too long.

For a moment I could not leave him. Ed and I will always be behind him, watching his pace, supporting his every decision. Because if it wasn't us, who else would have done it? Even her own mother left her.

"Mia, please.. it hurts so much...." I cried watching her face seem to be in great pain, but there was nothing I could try to help her, and it hurt.

"Calm down, Panda. Take a deep breath and exhale slowly, do as you normally would. You can get through this. Come on.." I said while upholding his body. She shook her head.

"Mia, please... I can't!"

"Yes, you can!" Panda tried to catch his breath while closing his eyes, but he still had trouble. "Come on! Try more.." My words were cut off when he suddenly grabbed my arm, making me grimace in pain. I could feel his nails piercing my skin.

I can't remember how long we were here until the door opened and my brother-in-law ran from there. "Oh my God, what's going on?" his question was puzzled looking at the entire room that was falling apart. He approached the bed and immediately pulled Panda from me. "Darling, I'm here. Did you hear me?"

Panda did not reply, she looked at Sean with obvious fear from the spotlight. And somehow I'm sure what's bothering her this time is her real mother, who somehow might meet her before she gets home.

I tried to release the grip of Panda's hand on my arm, but he was too strong. His entire body was still trembling while he struggled to catch his breath. "Sean," he muttered. "Help me, please..."

"I'm here, baby. I'll help you, calm yourself first. Please, Franda." I don't know what to say, seeing two tormented people like them also makes me tormented.

"Oh my God, this is very sick..."