REMORSEFULLY

Honest

Time passed so quickly, even years changed. It does not feel Rafa has now stepped on a teenager.

After the age of Fadiyah three years I gave birth to another son who I named Fadhil.

Mas Rasya is still at home with his widowed life. Even my ex-mother-in-law once called me to have Mas Rasya get married again. I also don't want to interfere too much with his personal affairs because it's Mas Rasya's privacy.

Every weekend Rafa stays at his papa's house. There was nothing wrong with that because the father and son were close.

But somehow after Rafa came home from his papa house this time he was seen often daydreaming and aloof. Usually after dinner he would play with his sisters.

But this time after dinner, Rafa immediately rushed to the room. When Rayhan asked, he just said he wanted to learn.

It's been two days since he came home from a sleepover at his papa's house that he was seen locked up. I went to her room to ask, lest she have any problems with her friends at school. I opened the door of his room and saw him sitting down and looking at the photo in which there was me, him and his papa.

"Mom can come in, son?" Ask her.

He just sighed and put the picture frame in its original place.

"You got a problem?" I asked while sitting next to him.

"No, Ma." He said without looking at me.

"Say the same Mama, because it's been two days Mama saw you in the room continues, your sister wants to play with you." My speech.

"Why did Mama leave, Papa?" Ask to the point with teary eyes.

My heart seemed to be pounding with my son's question.

I wanted to explain but I didn't know where to start. But for me now is not the right time he knows it. His thinking is still unstable.

"Why, Ma?" Ask lirih.

"Listen to Mama, Son. It's time you'll know you're a big boy ." I said to my son.

"Did Mom leave Papa because of Papa Ray?" Ask again.

My eyes were perfectly round hearing my son's question.

"It's not because of Papa Ray, son." My bell.

"But the proof is mama with papa Ray while papa until now is still alone " Said Rafa again.

"You won't understand, son?" I don't know what to explain.

"I feel sorry for Papa, she's lonely and even the picture of my mom is still in my wallet." Lirih.

I really didn't expect that Mas Rasya still had my picture.

"I want to stay with Papa, Ma." Say again.

There is pain in my heart hearing my son's statement. He said he felt sorry for his father because he was living alone. Indeed Mas Rasya sometimes lives alone because his mother sometimes to the house of Mas Rasya's married sister.

"Are you not feeling the same pity, Mama?" Saying to him.

"Mama's got Papa Ray and sisters." Say again.

"Mama can't separate from you, son. So please don't leave Mama, honey?" I said by removing the droplets of tears that were dripping in the corner of the eye.

My heart was sliced because the child I raised with affection wanted to leave me and chose to stay with his father.Don't until that happens, Oh God, just imagine that I can't.

I don't want to tell you why we split because I don't want my son to know about his father's past betrayal. Rafa knows his papa is the perfect man in his eyes.

"Did you ask Rafa to stay with him?" Much

"No, Ma. It's Rafa's own will." The answer.

"Originally you know, son! Mama has a reason why Mama split up with your Papa." Saying again.

"I know Ma, it's all because of Papa Ray." Changed again.

"Enough, Rafa! Don't blame Papa Ray on the whole." I said a little loud.

Ada rasa bersalah dalam hati kenapa aku membentak anak-ku. Baru kali ini aku membentaknya.

I kissed my teenage son and hugged him.

"I'm sorry Mama, son." I'm lirih.

He's sobbing.Without returning my embrace.

"It's not that Mama doesn't want to tell you everything but Mama doesn't want you to be disappointed."

"Why, Ma?" Saying continues.

God, what should I do, if I should be honest with him.

Kulerai hugs me to him. I looked at his face that was very similar to his papa. Maybe it's time I had to say everything.

"But promise, after Mama says everything you don't hate us or leave, Mama." Saying to him.

He just nodded.

I took a breath before I told you the truth. I put together a word he could understand without having to say in detail.

"Mama never had any intention of leaving your Papa, but because Mama could not accept Papa's betrayal so we ended up separating." Saying to him.

"Mama met Papa Ray long after your mom and Dad separated." Said explained.

"Papa you're cheating on me, Rafa!" Said Fira coming into our room.

I'm surprised why Fira just came in and came in and just spoke.

I gave Fira a code so she wouldn't talk much. Basic Fira who was thinly-plos immediately said it.

"It's time for Rafa to know because he's big, isn't he Raf?" Fira said she didn't feel guilty.

Rafa hugged me and cried.

"Sorry Rafa, Ma." Sobbed.

"Every human being has a wrong and a khilaf, so Mama asked you not to be angry with Papa huh, Son? I stroked her short hair and she nodded. I don't know if it's his heart, I don't know...

"Boy crying, lebay ah." Said Fira as she passed out of the room.

After Rafa stopped crying I melted the atmosphere.

"You're ugly when you cry "My words chuckle.

"Let's cry Rafa still dashing, Ma." Pd's remarks.

"Yuk ..main equals your sisters ." My speech.

"I want to do PR first, Ma." Said reasoned.

I went out and left Rafa. Upon arriving at the family room I saw Fira and her husband and children.

"Tumben comes night-night "Tanyaku.

"We from eating outside, brother and the children maksa pingin keep coming." Fira

"You guys just do it." I bid on them.

But Fira refused because the gate was not in the lock.

Fira came up to me and asked Rafa. I told him and Fira said that it was time Rafa had to know so that he would not be mistaken if I was the one who left his papa because of Rayhan.

May his attitude towards his biological father not change after knowing the truth. I don't want him to hate his papa, either.

Disappointment must be in Rafa's heart because all this time there was no reproach that he knew about his biological father. But I'm sure Rafa has an ocean-wide heart to forgive his papa's sincerity. Although Rafa is a guy but has a soft and kind heart that can accept the mistakes of his papa in the past.