REMORSEFULLY

Vidio Call

Memories of the past that have been let down and hurt are not to be forgotten, but they will be made a lesson in life in the future. Sometimes God gives us that pain because He wants to test us to what extent we will be patient and rest assured God will give the best among the good for us.

As a woman like me, the life I'm living right now is perfect. Even a life like this used to be in my imagination. I have a husband who loves me dearly, faithfully, richly and has cute children. It was like a dream for me. And my love for him is getting bigger and bigger. A good family begins with love, is built with compassion and nurtured with loyalty.

I gasped from my daydreams when my mother-in-law called me to join because my twin sister's akikah event was about to begin.

A very luxurious wedding decoration was deliberately designed by my husband and in-laws. Not to show off but this as gratitude, because given the most beautiful gift with the presence of the twins in our family.

Families, neighbors come and go, even cafe employees also all come because it was deliberately invited by Rayhan. Not to forget to invite the children.

After the show was over, my twins and I went back to the room. I have stayed in my room for a week to take care of my two babies. Sometimes I just go out of my room when I'm hungry.. Even more of my food was delivered to my room. It just so happened that Rayhan and I were from the same tribe so we had the same traditions. Like a mother who has just given birth, it should be limited to leaving the house before the age of the baby reaches forty days. Actually it's me and Rayhan consider it a myth but there's no harm in the advice parents listen to. Let's just take the positives.

The day doesn't feel like it keeps changing. I enjoy my role as a wife and mother with three children. Good thing Rafa has understood that my time will be reduced for him because I have to take care of two babies at once.I have not intended to hire a nanny because my baby is still too early to be entrusted to the nanny. Moreover, there is a mother and mother-in-law who often come with me.

At midnight when other people were fast asleep while Rayhan and I had to wake up because the twins opened their eyes wide even sometimes they did not want to come down from the lap. That is the joy of having a baby, night made day, while day made night.

"You go to sleep, honey." Rayhan said to me when the twins were awake.

"But if they cry...how?" My toot.

"Look, at most if they are hungry, your clothes do not need to be buttoned so that it is easy." Evidently.

"Don't fuck around, it's not time!!"My firmness.

"A really great piktor??"It means that Farha and Farhan are hungry I direct one of them, the other one I keep the dot."

Indeed I sometimes pump my ASI to prepare if they simultaneously want to suckle. Thank God my ASI was very much, so I gave exclusive ASI to my two babies.

Because it felt so sleepy, it didn't take long for me to fall asleep. I don't know what Rayhan did with his kids. Until dawn I woke up. I opened my eyes and saw my husband sleeping next to me. Farha and Farhan had fallen into a deep sleep in his place.The subtle snoring of my husband signifies he is very sound asleep.

Go to the bathroom to clean themselves up before they wake up. I rushed to Rafa's room to see him but he was still asleep. I went to the kitchen to prepare breakfast and there was already Bi Rahmi and Bu Ira was busy in the kitchen preparing breakfast. So I just made chocolate milk for Rafa, and hot tea for me and my husband.

After breakfast I took the twins to the backyard to sunbathe.

"Today I came home a bit late in the afternoon, you're okay, right?' Rayhan.

I'm honestly overwhelmed that she's not helping me take care of Farha and Farhan. They were very close to her Papa, let alone our baby girl. As if in his papa sling the most comfortable place for him.

I just nodded. Although I can't really imagine how troublesome I would be if they woke up together.

After the twins fell asleep Rayhan set off.

I took Rafa to our room too. I wanted to keep her company because I had very little time for her after I gave birth. Perhaps it was for that reason that Rafa suddenly asked Mas Rasya. Rasya also seemed to forget that he had a child. "Rafa wants to call papa, Ma," he said excitedly. Pingin refused his wish but could not bear it either.

I took my phone and tried to find Mas Rasya's latest contact on WhatsApp. I threw away my sense of prestige to contact him first. I did this for Rafa.

I tried to contact him but there was no answer. Though the number was active, I tried it again but the result was the same.

I decided to send a message via WhatsApp

"Assalamu Alaikum's. Rafa wants to talk to his biological father." Deliberately saying that so that he realized that he had been forgetting his son. Hope he feels.

A few minutes later my phone rang and there appeared the name Mas Rasya who will hold a Vidio Call.

I pressed the answer button and gave it to Rafa.

Rafa spilled his complaints to his father, starting from his longing to his desire to play. Rafa also cheerfully says that he already has two younger brothers.

Mas Rasya did not sound like much.

"May you give me the phone, son? Say Mas Taste slowly.

I gave Rafa a signal to Rafa to say I wasn't there.

But basic children cannot be cooperated with. He pointed the phone screen at me.

"How are you, Fan?" Mas Rasya smiled.

"I'm good, Mas,"

The awkwardness between us, I don't know what to ask. 'Oek...Oek...Oek."

"Sorry, Mas, the crying twins." I immediately turned to take Farhan from his box and let the father and son continue the conversation through the Vidio Call.

I immediately held Farhan and he fell silent.In my heart thank you for Farhan crying at the right time. As if he understood that his mother did not deserve a call from a man, let alone her ex-husband.

"You're like your papa, son," I said anxiously.

Rafa has also closed the phone call from Mas Rasya. And he returned my phone. Seen a happy look on his face after contacting Mas Rasya even though only through Vidio Call.

"Kok papa Rafa there are two anyway, Ma?" Plain asking.

I was flabbergasted at Rafa's question, I didn't expect him to ask that.

I was confused to answer what children his age could understand.

"Rafa is one of the lucky children who has two fathers" I said, although it was not the answer to his question.

"But why is it that only Papa Ray lives with us, Ma?" Ask me again looking at me.

Jeez...really this kid has a very high curiosity.

"Please take care of her sister, honey? Mama's going to the bathroom." My words diverted Rafa's questions

"Every Mama is beautiful, ' she said while imitating people who are respectful.

I put Farhan back in his place and rushed to the bathroom. I hope he forgets that question.

"In time you will understand, let time answer everything, my mind.